Published on June 6, 2018
About Be Affected
Be Affected charges young men, especially in the Church, to embrace the value of dating as an aspect of divine image-bearing and offers practical advice on how to do it well. Written from the perspective of a young, single Christian man, this books offers a theological explanation of the importance and goodness of dating, highly-practical advice on asking for and planning effective dates, and honest encouragement for when things don’t go as planned.
From the Introduction:
Books about dating all face one of two problems: either the author is married, or the author is single. In the first case, it’s too easy to think ‘Well sure, that approach worked for you, but that’s just one story.’ What if the married author has fallen out of touch, and he or she doesn’t understand how things are these days? In the case of a single author, even more doubts arise: ‘How can I be sure whether any of this works, if it hasn’t worked out for you?’
That kind of thinking assumes that the goal of dating is finding a spouse, which is true. However, even though the ultimate indicator of success in dating is marriage, there are plenty of ways to be successful without yet having found a spouse. This book will detail some of those ways.
I really like that this book gives practical advice for early stages of dating. It’s easy to follow, quick to read, and has a lighthearted, approachable tone. I thought the section with ideas for first dates was great, and so was the checklist of things to do before going on a date. (I kind of wish I could go back in time and give that list to a few of the boys I dated, but that’s a whole other story!)
Another really helpful part was the section that talked about how to ask a girl for a date in the first place. I think the simple, direct, no-pressure approach is a perfect model for people as they approach someone they want to date. The emphasis on community– having friends and family to cheer you on and back you up or listen to you process how the date went– as so important really resonated with me, too. Having a good community around you makes a huge difference.
All in all, this book makes a great resource for young Christian men looking to begin dating relationships. I think most if not all of the counsel could apply to girls as well, though it’s addressed specifically to guys. I enjoyed reading Be Affected, and especially enjoyed the part of the book the title comes from, in which the author talks about the importance of being sincere and vulnerable, actually letting others get to know the real you in relationships. Great stuff.
No racial details given. The author is speaking most directly to young Christian men looking to date women.
Profanity/Crude Language Content
References to kissing. Vague references to sex.
The author quotes a couple of verses, one about the how finding a wife is a good thing, according to Proverbs. He encourages readers to pray about any anxiety over upcoming dates or asking someone on a date. More than one section discusses abstinence as the best way to prepare for a marriage relationship and the basis for this lifestyle in the Bible.