Tag Archives: abstinence

Review: Waiting Matters Series by Beth Steury

Saving Sex for Marriage in a Fifty Shades World (Waiting Matters #1)
Beth Steury
Life Matters Publishing
Published on September 12, 2017

Amazon | Goodreads

About Saving Sex for Marriage in a Fifty Shades World
“A world that respects sex . . . ” Can you imagine a society molded around the principle that sex is a gift? An awesomely amazing gift from GOD? You know, the guy who created it? A place where people totally get that sex is more than simply a pleasurable physical act. Oh, everyone knows that sex is incredible. But because it’s so good, sex is protected from anything or anyone who would try to abuse it. Can you even imagine such a place? Barely, right? Because instead, ours is a “Fifty Shades of Grey” world where sex has been so trivialized that saving sex for marriage is labeled old-fashioned, unnecessary, unimportant. Even worse ridiculous or dumb. But I’m here to convince you that GOD’s design for sex is amazing. That waiting does matter. That sex is worth saving for marriage. Even in this Fifty Shades world.
My Review
This first book in the Waiting Matters series talks a lot about why waiting until marriage to have sex is important and why it makes sense from a Christian perspective. Steury is practical and firm but not unkind in the way she addresses the issue. Obviously it will mostly appeal to readers with a Christian worldview.

I liked that the tone of the book is very positive and encouraging. While Steury doesn’t leave a lot of room for excuses, she continually encourages readers to reaffirm a commitment to abstinence and never berates anyone for having made other choices in the past.

The Waiting Matters books make a nice introduction to reasons for abstinence (book 1) and practical strategies for maintaining a successful commitment to abstinence (book 2). They make a great companion to Steury’s novel (and soon-to-be series) Before I Knew You, book one in the Choices Matter series.

Recommended for Ages 12 up.

Content Notes
No profanity. Obviously the book contains some references to sex, but no graphic details.

Note: I received a free copy of this book in exchange for my honest review.

The Who, What, When, Where, How and Why of Saving Sex for Marriage (Waiting Matters #2)
Beth Steury
Life Matters Publishing
Published on September 12, 2017

Amazon | Goodreads

About The Who, What, When, Where, How and Why of Saving Sex for Marriage
Saving sex for marriage is the best decision you’ll ever make.

No matter who you are, how old you are, or where you live. Doesn’t even matter what’s in your past.

“But I already didn’t wait!”

Then a commitment to “renewed waiting” is the second-best choice you’ll ever make. Nothing makes more sense than stopping behavior that puts you at risk physically, emotionally and mentally.

“But it’s hard to wait . . . ”

Of course it is. Waiting is tough, but it’s not impossible. You can do it.

These practical strategies and candid conversations from the “Waiting Matters . . . Because YOU Matter” blog series will help you navigate the choppy waters of saving sex for marriage.

Because sex is worth waiting for. You are worth waiting for.
My Review
I liked that this book talks about practical strategies for walking out a commitment to abstinence. Often I hear people talking about how important a commitment to abstinence is without really talking about how to live out that kind of commitment. Steury also doesn’t mince words about what abstinence really means and how a relationship between two people committed to waiting until marriage to have sex should look.
Each chapter opens with a quote or question about sex that a person in a relationship might ask or believe about sex. Steury responds in a clear, concise narrative with explanations that are easy to follow.
I think this book would be a great resource for a church small group study or a lead-in to a discussion about boundaries and ground rules for teens beginning to have dating relationships. Of the two Waiting Matters books, this one was definitely my favorite.
While I think kids 12 and up could read this book, it’s probably best-suited to teens 15 or 16 years old up through college years.

Recommended for Ages 12 up.

Content Notes
No profanity. Obviously the book contains some references to sex, but no graphic details.

Note: I received a free copy of this book in exchange for my honest review.

Review: Before I Knew You by Beth Steury

Before I Knew You
Beth Steury
Life Matters Publishing
Published on March 9, 2018

Amazon | Barnes & Noble | Goodreads

About Before I Knew You
After a series of bad choices rocked his world, seventeen-year-old Preston charts a new course as far from his ladies’ man ways as he can get. He distances himself from the dating scene and avoids his party-loving friends—the things that once dominated his life. Then he meets Maggie, the new girl in town, the first day of their junior year. She’s beautiful on the inside and out, knows nothing of his past, and he can’t get her out of his mind.

When a disastrous first date leaves her skeptical about the guys at Madison High, Maggie slows down her pursuit of a guy to trust with her white-wedding-dress future. She wants a boyfriend, sure, but he’d have to be nothing like the jerk who forced her first kiss. Someone more like Preston, who’s been nothing but sweet and helpful, not to mention, easy on the eyes. But he is so out of her league.

Can Maggie afford to let her guard down around the charming Preston? Will Preston’s past jeopardize his chances with the one girl who could anchor his future?

My Review
Before I Knew You has a strong message. At its heart, the story is about two teens who make a commitment to abstain from sex before marriage. Both have made the decision independently and because of their faith.

I worried a little bit that the story would be message-driven or dominated by the agenda of promoting abstinence. But honestly, I felt like it had a great balance between the message and the story. The message elements were pretty effectively integrated into the story, so that it didn’t feel preachy. It felt like observing two people as they try to navigate how to have a healthy dating relationship which includes these moral values.

Preston feels pressure to hide the fact that he used to drink and has slept with a past girlfriend from Maggie, which creates lots of problems and tension. Maggie is new to dating relationships and has never had a serious relationship at all before she begins dating Preston. Her struggle is much more emotional. Her feelings for Preston dominate her thought life, and sometimes her value depends a lot on his behavior and how he feels about her.

Maggie’s feelings about Preston were sometimes a little much for me. She’s a realistic teen character—I remember feeling consumed by relationships the way she is in the story. I kind of wished that someone at some point told her she needed to find her value in other things besides Preston. It also kind of rubbed me the wrong way when Preston decides to handle a past situation by planning to confront someone else’s parents about it. At the time, he is dead-set on hiding the whole situation from his own parents, and I kept hoping someone would call him out on that hypocrisy or encourage him to be honest about it with his parents. It didn’t happen, but the conflict did get resolved. (Sorry to be so cryptic… I don’t want to give too much away.)

Another thing I did like about Before I Knew You was that as the relationship between Preston and Maggie deepens, Preston rekindles a mentoring relationship with a sports coach. He and some other guys his age start spending time together and talking about how to maintain their commitment to abstinence. This was another point where I felt like the message could have overtaken the story, but it didn’t. In fact, I liked that the characters were pretty real about how they needed to have a plan and boundaries in place if they were going to have a successful and lasting commitment to wait until marriage to have sex, and how the story showed those playing out.

This book may not appeal to everyone. But especially for teens interested in waiting to have sex, it’s a great “you’re not the only one” kind of story with some practical examples of things to do that can help support the choice to wait to have sex.

Recommended for Ages 13 up.

Cultural Elements
Major characters are white.

Profanity/Crude Language Content
None.

Romance/Sexual Content
None.

Spiritual Content
Both Maggie and Preston are Christians. Their faith comes up now and again in mostly small ways – references to church or prayer or Bible verses. The biggest faith element in the story is Maggie and Preston’s commitments to wait until marriage to have sex.

Violent Content
None.

Drug Content
Preston goes to a party where teens are drinking alcohol. He only drinks Mountain Dew, as he’s made a commitment not to drink alcohol anymore. Maggie attends a similar party but doesn’t drink alcohol either.

Note: I received a free copy of this book in exchange for my honest review.