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Review: Quiet by Susan Cain

Book Review and Content, Nonfiction, Young Adult/Teen 12-18, , , , , , , , ,
Quiet by Susan Cain

Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World that Can’t Stop Talking
Susan Cain
Crown Publishing Group
Published January 24, 2012

Amazon | Bookshop | Goodreads

About Quiet

At least one-third of the people we know are introverts. They are the ones who prefer listening to speaking; who innovate and create but dislike self-promotion; who favor working on their own over working in teams. It is to introverts—Rosa Parks, Chopin, Dr. Seuss, Steve Wozniak—that we owe many of the great contributions to society. 

In Quiet, Susan Cain argues that we dramatically undervalue introverts and shows how much we lose in doing so. She charts the rise of the Extrovert Ideal throughout the twentieth century and explores how deeply it has come to permeate our culture. She also introduces us to successful introverts—from a witty, high-octane public speaker who recharges in solitude after his talks, to a record-breaking salesman who quietly taps into the power of questions. Passionately argued, superbly researched, and filled with indelible stories of real people, QUIET has the power to permanently change how we see introverts and, equally important, how they see themselves.

My Review

I first read this book years ago, and I remember a lot of things suddenly making sense about myself and my daughter specifically. At the time I was a single mom with an elementary-aged daughter whose teacher was very much an extrovert. She seemed to prefer a collaborative learning environment in the classroom, which can be great. My daughter struggled with some of the methods her teacher used. I remember her teacher seeming frustrated or worried about it. I think she wanted my daughter to be able to engage more fully and was troubled that she didn’t seem to be getting her work done. My suspicion was that there was too much stimulation making it difficult for her to work. Reading QUIET helped me articulate that more effectively. I ended up giving a copy of the book to the teacher, who also loved it.

I started listening to the audiobook again this year because I’d been having trouble sleeping. I wanted something kind of low key to listen to– you know, no big dramatic climax or high stakes– so this seemed like a good fit.

It really struck me how much I had forgotten or how many things that didn’t apply to my life when I read the book before do apply now. I’m currently married and now have two children, sharing a communal-style home with my parents. And we are a house FULL of introverts! So it’s been really interesting thinking about some of the challenges and advantages common to introverted people in various stages of life and… in the midst of a pandemic.

Thinking about the pandemic also really changed what stood out to me in the book this time as I read/listened to it. Cain discusses research into how different animals with both introverted and extroverted members of their species handle risks. Different situations tend to give one group the advantage over the other in terms of survival, because their natural instincts either protect them or expose them to additional risks.

Introverts, Extroverts and Covid (Skip this section if it’s too political for you.)

Early on in the pandemic, I remember thinking that being introverted gave us an advantage because we weren’t ever really big go-out-and-do people. We do things. Sometimes? At our highest level of social activity, my husband and I had nearly weekly game nights with another couple. We rarely eat out at a restaurant– he has trouble hearing and I don’t speak very loudly. We like restaurant food, but takeout has long been our preferred approach.

So while we had to make sacrifices and change our behavior, the changes weren’t nearly as dramatic as for our extroverted friends who have huge house parties every few months and are super active in our local theater productions. I figured that as things began to normalize or restrictions began to loosen/Covid-19 case numbers began to drop, our extroverted friends would be more easily able to return to going out because that was a more comfortable, natural life pace for them. And I think that’s been true.

Lately I’ve been thinking about the chapters on how introverts and extroverts process risk. If I can oversimplify, introverts tend generally to be more risk-averse than extroverts. Sometimes extroverts head directly into risk when it would be better to retreat. Cain discussed some examples and studies on this. I’ve been thinking about that as I watch all these heated discussions about mask wearing and social distance guidelines. It’s not like all the extroverts I know are anti-mask and all the introverts are pro-mask. It’s definitely not that simple. But I guess it has helped me to think about the fact that sometimes there are motivations that I didn’t consider or understand behind people’s behaviors.

That doesn’t change what I think about masks… I’m still really pro-mask and think it falls within the values of loving others and being a responsible community member. But it helps to realize that it’s not that simple for a lot of people, and that there may be genetic or scientific reasons they are behaving the way they are.

Review Summary

I enjoyed reading this book again. It’s one of those books packed with so much information that I don’t know if I could absorb it all in one read. Even now I like the idea of revisiting certain chapters when I’m ready to look at more information.

There’s also a version of this book for younger readers called QUIET POWER. I don’t have it right now, but I really want to check it out. I’d like to post a review of that one as well. If you’ve read it already or have posted a review, please tell me about it in the comments or you can reach out to me on Twitter.

Content Notes

Recommended for Ages 14 up.

Representation
Mostly discusses research and examples of famous introverts and extroverts. Rosa Parks and Martin Luther King Jr. are both mentioned. The depiction of Rosa Parks doesn’t line up with some of the descriptions from her autobiography. Cain also interviews a Chinese-American college student who’s an introvert in a program that overtly values extroverted behavior. He talks about how a summer in China was so different because some of the cultural values were more comfortable for him as an introvert and how validating that was for him.

Profanity/Crude Language Content
None.

Romance/Sexual Content
None.

Spiritual Content
None.

Violent Content
None.

Drug Content
None.

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If We Were Having Coffee: Fall 2020 Catch-Up

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If We Were Having Coffee: Things I’d Tell You

It’s hard to believe that the last (also first) time I did a post like this was the end of April. It’s been more than SIX MONTHS, y’all! They went by in a blink.

Since it’s been a bit, let’s do another check-in. Grab yourself a hot (or cold!) drink and let’s do a bit of catching up, friends.

If we were having coffee I’d tell you that we just recently started school. My oldest is doing e-learning through her high school, and so far it’s been a mixed blessing. It’s not like homeschool– her teachers are doing live classes. She thrives on individual attention and a relationship with her teachers, though, and that’s not easy to establish online (not to mention that her teachers are all juggling the extra work of in-person and online students).

She’s a really motivated student, and right now that’s sometimes translating into an intense perfectionism that makes for really long homework sessions. She’s also lonely (understandable) which means that I spend a lot of my evenings with her, just being present and available while she works on homework. I love having that one-on-one time with her which we often don’t get during the day with the littlest awake, but it makes for really long days, so by the end of the week, I’m exhausted.

My littlest will be doing some “enrichment” activities at home that we’re calling school time. She’s two, so it’s really just more for structure and fun since we aren’t doing a lot of outings right now. My mom is taking this on and it’s honestly so amazing. She’s super creative and patient, so I think (hope) this is giving her a meaningful way to engage in all of that plus teach the littlest lots of new things. I would seriously be losing my mind right now without my mom.

If we were having coffee, I would say that since my last update, my family has made hundreds more masks. Right now, we’re making them to give to my daughter’s school and other community members.

Honestly, it’s been incredible to have something we can physically do that feels useful. We can help people, even if it’s in a small way. A book reviewer I follow on Twitter recently shared that she’s a preschool teacher with few PPE supplies and worried about her safety at school. To be able to put a package together for her and send it off felt so good.

If we were having coffee, I would tell you I’m still having trouble sleeping. Between the pandemic, hurricane season, the election, and all the extra hoops to jump through for safety, sometimes I just can’t get my brain to shut off. I hate it. Not only does it mean I’m losing sleep, but then I’m snappy and irritable with my family. And then I have guilt for all the snappiness and irritability and inability to just shut off my brain and sleep.

Audiobooks seem to help. Listening to a story focuses me long enough to let my brain rest and helps me fall asleep.

Meditation also helps. I recently read a couple books about it, one that I reviewed, and another that I haven’t reviewed yet on Christian meditation. It has helped SO much to have a physical practice that calms and centers me. So that’s been good.

If we were having coffee, we’d have to talk books. I recently read WHERE DREAMS DESCEND by Janella Angeles and I’m still completely in love with it. It’s got so much to love– an incredible story world, unforgettable characters, and totally swoon-worthy romance. I also thought that FOREVERLAND by Nicole Kear was super cute. It’s about a girl who runs away because her family is splitting up, and she decides to live in the theme park where her family once took a fun family trip. I’d want to know what you’ve been reading and what’s on your list that you can’t wait to read.

If we were having coffee, you might want to know how some of the things I was planning to do in my last coffee post are going. I mentioned wanting to start up my Bookstagram account again, which I have done. I’m a bit hit-and-miss with posting still because life has been very chaotic. But I feel like it energizes me about books and my blog and reading, so I’m really excited to keep doing it.

I also mentioned wanting to do more list posts on my blog. I’ve done a few (I’ll list them at the end of the post in case you want to check them out), and have a few more in the works. I’m really excited about my debut novel lists. The MG Debut list is up, but I’m still wrestling with the YA list. I think I need to break it into two lists, and I just haven’t figured out how I want to do that. By what I’ve read vs plan to read? By genre, like Contemporary vs Fantasy? I’m not sure yet, but there are WAY TOO MANY for just one list.

I also posted a huge list of #ownvoices Asian-Inspired Fantasy, which was super fun to put together. I’ve read lots of the titles on the list, but found so many more to add to my reading list.

1 / 6

If we were having coffee, I’d tell you that some of the books I’ve read this year have really challenged me. I read one that cast a bit of shade at adult reviewers, and I’m kind of embarrassed at how much it undermined my confidence.

I had a whole blogger identity crisis where I was like omg, am I a complete weirdo and need to just stop doing this and start one of those lifestyle blogs where I review books sometimes but also post about, like the kids, and do product reviews, and I don’t even know, fashion or something? Honestly, I love those blogs and follow some really incredible ones, but that is so not me. I don’t think I’m at all interesting enough to be the subject of an entire blog. Ha. But seriously, no.

For now, I’m still here doing my thing. I’m trying to be more sensitive to the others in the YA community, and to step outside my shell a bit more and post some personal stuff, which is super hard for me.

So that’s pretty much my life over coffee.

If we were having coffee, what would you say?

Tell me about you. What’s been happening that you’d want to share with me over a cup of coffee? It can be bookish or personal or just totally random. Leave me a comment and let me know how you are.

The List Posts

Best Middle Grade Books from Spring 2020

26 Asian-Inspired Fantasy Books to Read While You Wait for Disney’s Mulan

20 Amazing YA Books Out Winter/Spring 2020

8 Most-Anticipated YA Books Coming August 2020

12 YA Books I Can’t Wait to Read Coming September 2020

14 Middle Grade Debut Books You Need to Read This Year

If We Were Having Coffee Update

Discussion Post, News and Fun, , , ,

I’ve been meaning to post a blog update and also really wanting to do an “If We Were Having Coffee” style post, so today is the day I’m doing it! If you’re unfamiliar with the prompt, it’s basically me talking to you as if we were across the table from each other having coffee– something I know I miss right now with social distancing and such. So. Here we go.

If we were having coffee I would tell you that my mom’s in the hospital. No, it’s not Covid19, thankfully. But it’s still the hospital, still scary, and still not at all what we planned for right now. She’ll be okay. I’m thankful for that. But even though I believe she’ll be fine, the fact that she’s in the hospital still throws my world off-kilter. My family and my parents all share a big house and property together. We love it, and this is part of the reason why we’ve opted for a sort of communal-style life– so we can be there for each other when life throws us unexpected circumstances. But it also means we have the front row seats to those circumstances, and that can be a big deal.

If we were having coffee I would tell you that I’m proud of my daughter. Her whole world got turned upside down with closures and online school at a time of life when friends and social connections are so important. She’s soldiered on, continued to make education a priority, and I’m so proud to be her mom. So much of that momentum comes from her, not me. And It’s really inspiring to watch her. I would tell you that I’m worried about her, too. I see her struggling, and sometimes I feel so powerless to help. It can be really heartbreaking to watch someone you love battling things bigger than they are.

If we were having coffee I would tell you that my family has made more than 300 cotton masks. We’ve given them out to friends, family, and community members. If you know my mom, you probably think it was her idea, because she’s the kind of person who helps the people around her and makes them feel seen and loved. The project was actually my husband’s idea, and he has done the bulk of the sewing as well as creating prototypes and heading up a team of volunteers who’ve helped supply us with materials and prep them. It’s been a pretty incredible thing to be part of, especially when you consider that most of us work at least 30 hrs a week!

If we were having coffee I’d tell you that I want to start doing book photos on Instagram again. I’ve been dabbling and taking some pictures that I’m really proud of here and there, but I’m not totally sure I’ve figured out how I want my account to feel and look, so I’m kind of dragging my feet. Plus most of what’s on the account I have is random photos of stuff, so I don’t know if I should remove those? Post them on another account? Start over? So I’m trying to figure that out.

If we were having coffee I would tell you that I’ve bought way too many books lately. Honestly. I ordered new releases from local independent bookstores. I ordered some backlist titles that I’ve been meaning to add to my library. I got books for my girls. And most recently I ordered books by authors on a much-discussed YALL STAY HOME virtual book con panel. I wasn’t a viewer on the panel, but it sounded like some bad things happened. Rather than offering an unsolicited opinion to the conversation, I opted to support the panel authors by buying their latest books.

If we were having coffee I’d tell you I want to do more book list posts. I often start lists and then leave them languishing in some half-finished state. I want to do more of them and more faithfully. I feel like they’re probably just as helpful if not more helpful than a review, depending on what you’re looking for. I know I enjoy reading them.

What would you tell me over a cup of coffee or tea?

Leave a comment on something I mentioned or tell me something you’ve been thinking about lately. I look forward to hearing from you!