Tag Archives: parenting

Review: Through the Wormhole by Chris Solaas

Through the Wormhole by Chris Solaas

Through the Wormhole (Life in Hyperspace #2)
Chris Solaas
Published August 28, 2023

Amazon | Goodreads

About Through the Wormhole: Humor, Hope, and Help from One Family with Autism to Another

The call for help seemed to come from the wall, and I knew there wasn’t a secret room there. That’s when I spied two bare feet sticking out of a hole in the wall. Holes in the wall. Setting fires in the house. Secret rooms and monsters in the closets. My wife and I never thought we’d have adventures like these raising our kids. After dealing with ADHD and its issues, we didn’t think autism would be anything we couldn’t handle. Boy were we wrong.

From our family to yours, here are humorous stories from our crazy past, mixed with ideas for handling some of the issues facing a family raising kids with autism. Inside you will find ideas for stimming aids, dietary help, and even links to companies who hire adults with autism. Humor, Hope, and Help for families like yours traveling Through the Wormhole.

My Review

This is the second nonfiction parenting support book that I’ve read by this author. One of the things I really appreciate about his books is his frank humility. It would be so easy to only report the parenting successes and goofball behavior that the kids get into, and instead, he often apologetically shares experiences where he wishes he’d responded differently. There’s something genuinely comforting about someone keeping it real like that– because we’ve all been the parent who lost their temper or said something sarcastic or overlooked something that turned out to be a safety issue.

The book alternates between sharing adventures in parenting a kid on the Autism spectrum and sharing tips and helpful resources, often with hyperlinks. He also shares things about his experience in the Christian church and community that may help parents navigate what isn’t always a neurodiverse kid-friendly atmosphere. Which, again, is the kind of gentle frankness that I really appreciate.

His parenting adventures are also really well-told. I got teary as he talked about saying goodbye to the family dog and laughed aloud at some of the unexpected conclusions his son drew about different situations.

The author’s hard-won parenting wisdom and encouragement to readers to pursue faith, self-education, and compassion for themselves and their kids make this a nice resource for Christian parents with a child on the Autism spectrum or anyone who wants to be better informed about supporting a family with neurodiverse kids.

I hope that parents who read this find it to be a welcoming, compassionate, and encouraging resource. I’ve also reviewed his other parenting book, which discusses his experiences discovering that he has ADHD and how he navigated parenting a child with the diagnosis.

Content Notes

Recommended for Ages 16 up.

Representation
The author describes himself as having ADHD with a touch of OCD. At least one of his children has Autism Spectrum Disorder. The author uses the term Aspergers or “Aspy” several times in the text, which may bother some readers. I’m not experienced enough to evaluate the representation in the book.

Profanity/Crude Language Content
None.

Romance/Sexual Content
None.

Spiritual Content
References to prayer, attending church, and other Christian spiritual practices and beliefs.

Violent Content
Some descriptions of mildly dangerous things, such as getting stuck on a roof or cleaning out the garage to get rid of spiders.

Drug Content
None.

Note: This post contains affiliate links, which do not cost you anything to use, but which help support this blog. I received a free copy of this book in exchange for my honest review. All opinions my own.

Review: Hunt, Gather, Parent by Michaeleen Doucleff

Hunt, Gather, Parent: What Ancient Cultures Can Teach Us About the Lost Art of Raising Happy, Helpful Humans
Michaeleen Doucleff, PhD
Avid Reader Press
Published March 2, 2021

Amazon | Bookshop | Goodreads

About Hunt, Gather, Parent

When Dr. Michaeleen Doucleff becomes a mother, she examines the studies behind modern parenting guidance and finds the evidence frustratingly limited and the conclusions often ineffective. Curious to learn about more effective parenting approaches, she visits a Maya village in the Yucatán Peninsula. There she encounters moms and dads who parent in a totally different way than we do—and raise extraordinarily kind, generous, and helpful children without yelling, nagging, or issuing timeouts. What else, Doucleff wonders, are Western parents missing out on?

In HUNT, GATHER, PARENT, Doucleff sets out with her three-year-old daughter in tow to learn and practice parenting strategies from families in three of the world’s most venerable communities: Maya families in Mexico, Inuit families above the Arctic Circle, and Hadzabe families in Tanzania. She sees that these cultures don’t have the same problems with children that Western parents do. Most strikingly, parents build a relationship with young children that is vastly different from the one many Western parents develop—it’s built on cooperation instead of control, trust instead of fear, and personalized needs instead of standardized development milestones.

Maya parents are masters at raising cooperative children. Without resorting to bribes, threats, or chore charts, Maya parents rear loyal helpers by including kids in household tasks from the time they can walk. Inuit parents have developed a remarkably effective approach for teaching children emotional intelligence. When kids cry, hit, or act out, Inuit parents respond with a calm, gentle demeanor that teaches children how to settle themselves down and think before acting. Hadzabe parents are world experts on raising confident, self-driven kids with a simple tool that protects children from stress and anxiety, so common now among American kids.

Not only does Doucleff live with families and observe their techniques firsthand, she also applies them with her own daughter, with striking results. She learns to discipline without yelling. She talks to psychologists, neuroscientists, anthropologists, and sociologists and explains how these strategies can impact children’s mental health and development. Filled with practical takeaways that parents can implement immediately, HUNT, GATHER, PARENT helps us rethink the ways we relate to our children, and reveals a universal parenting paradigm adapted for American families.

My Review

I can already tell I need a hard copy of this book for notes and highlights. Also, I need to listen to the audiobook version again.

The author narrates the audiobook, and I found it easy to listen to her. Her conversational style makes it feel like having a conversation with another mom about common parenting challenges. She also tells stories from the parenting trenches. Plus, a bonus: science!

First off, I really liked the way this book was broken down into parts. First, a research section discusses our (specifically, the WEIRD, Western, United States-based) approach to psychology. It looks at the study of what’s good for children and how much it assumes or misses by ignoring the input of other cultures. Three big parts focus on Doucleff’s time with parents from each of three different cultures: Maya, Inuit, and Hadzabe parents.

There are also TONS of helpful tips and ways to put the different concepts Doucleff explores into practice. Looking for ways to get your kids to help with chores? There’s a section for that. Want your littles to be more autonomous? The author’s got you covered. There are so many ideas I want to try in this book. I feel like I’m going to reference it for a while since I can only manage to introduce one or two at a time.

On the whole, this is a super practical, well-researched book that parents of younger children will find especially helpful. Though you can apply the concepts to all ages, I think it’ll be easiest to introduce them to younger kids.

Content Notes

Recommended for Ages whatever age you become a parent. Ha.

Representation
The book contains wisdom and teaching from Maya, Inuit, and Hadzabe parents and leaders.

Profanity/Crude Language Content
Mild profanity used very infrequently.

Romance/Sexual Content
None.

Spiritual Content
None.

Violent Content
None.

Drug Content
None.

Note: This post contains affiliate links, which do not cost you anything to use, but which help support this blog.

tons of helpful parenting strategies and solutions based on Maya, Inuit, and Hadzabe traditions.

Review: Life in Hyperspace by Chris Solaas

Life in Hyperspace
Chris Solaas
CreateSpace
December 22, 2016

Amazon | Bookshop | Goodreads

About Life in Hyperspace

Spraypainting the cat? What was he thinking??

With four-year college degrees under our belts and a dab of training in Child Psychology, my wife and I thought we were ready for anything when it came to this parenting gig. We had no idea we would be outnumbered and outgunned. From diet to riot, meds to charts, we’ve tried it all, to train up our ADHD kids in the way they should grow.

From the Home School of Hard Knocks, our four ADHD kids have taught us more about coping and planning ahead than any four-year college degree could have, especially when it comes to understanding what goes on in the mind of a five-year-old in a Buzz Lightyear costume flying on a treadmill. To Infinity, and Beyond.

This is the chronicle of two adult ADHD parents and their four ADHD kids living in a loving madhouse with four neurotic cats and a snow-white bi-eyed monster dog that eats trees. Inside, you will find more laughs and maybe some help and advice for what to do with the ADHD kids in your own home, from someone who’s Been There, Done That.

My Review

Sometimes it’s really nice to listen to other parents talk about the difficulties they’ve faced as parents. It helps us feel less alone. Bonus when the stories are funny.

In this book, the stories about kids, pets, and marriage range from hilarious (using Mom’s face cream to decorate a gingerbread house) to frightening (a car accident with a helicopter ride to the hospital). Over and over, kids do the things that make sense to them in the moment. And well, sometimes moms and dads do that, too. The stories in the book generally feature laughs at the author’s expense. They clearly show his love for his kids (even in the midst of frustrating experiences).

I laughed out loud multiple times reading this book. By chapter four or so, Solaas really hit his stride, and the recurring jokes (free to an unsuspecting home) got funnier and funnier.

Mostly, this is a book of shared experiences. Occasionally, usually toward the end of the chapter, the author will pause and offer a bit of hard-earned wisdom. Sometimes, that’s a simple exhortation to pray for your kids. Sometimes, it’s to share other resources or family values that the author finds personally helpful, including faith-based alternatives to trick-or-treating on Halloween and resources to help the reader craft a family Bible reading time.

Conclusion

Families looking for faith-based parenting books that celebrate neurodiversity and engaging with kids as they are will find LIFE IN HYPERSPACE offers shared experiences and much-needed comfort and joy.

Content Notes for Life in Hyperspace

Recommended for Ages 18 up.

Representation
The author, his wife, and all four of his kids have ADHD.

Profanity/Crude Language Content
None.

Romance/Sexual Content
The author briefly encourages readers to pay attention to the people their kids date and lists some criteria he asked his kids to consider as they dated or considered marrying someone.

Spiritual Content
The book is written with a Christian worldview and encourages readers to pray and seek counsel from the Bible and other Christian sources.

Violent Content
As the author describes some tense situations with kids, he is candid about feeling angry with them. He references (but doesn’t describe) spanking them– not in anger, though.

At one point, the author briefly relates having had a house fire, some accidents around the house, and later a car accident that caused some serious injuries. There are a couple stories involving animals injured accidentally by a car.

Drug Content
The author’s brother jokingly tells him to drink whiskey to cope with caring for a teething baby.

Note: This post contains affiliate links, which do not cost you anything to use but which help support this blog. I received a free copy of LIFE IN HYPERSPACE in exchange for my honest review.

Fall 2023 Backlist Check-in

Welcome to my second seasonal back-list reading check-in! So far, I love this format to talk about my backlist reading. I started this post right after I published the last one, and as I finished reading a backlist title, I added it to the list.

Like last time, my list is pretty eclectic. I read a parenting book, the diary of Anne Frank, and a novel about an Argentinian soccer player, among others. Most of these I listened to as audiobooks, usually while driving. That has been a great way to work through some backlist titles I’ve been really itching to read. About half of these books came out during the pandemic, which could be part of why I missed them. I know ELATSOE and FURIA were both on my reading lists the year they came out.

I’m still working out the details of my backlist reading strategy. It has helped me to have reading challenges and goals to motivate me, but I’m still looking for ideas. If you have any tips or ideas for getting to those backlist titles more quickly, please let me know!

Other than that, let’s get straight to why we’re here. These are the nine titles I read for my fall 2023 backlist reading.

Fall 2023 Backlist Reading

Hunt, Gather, Parent: What Ancient Cultures Can Teach Us About the Lost Art of Raising Happy, Helpful Humans by Michaeleen Doucleff, PhD

Amazon | Bookshop | Goodreads

What you need to know: Great strategies and solutions for parents looking to raise helpful kids or combat entitlement. I’m loving the changes I see in my family from what I learned in this book.

Published: March 2, 2021 | Review to Come


Meg, Jo, Beth, Amy: The Story of Little Women and Why It Still Matters by Amy Boyd Rioux

Amazon | Bookshop | Goodreads

What you need to know: Rioux gives a brief account of Louisa May Alcott’s life and the parts from which she drew inspiration for LITTLE WOMEN. She also explores conversations through the decades about why the book resonates with different generations, the various movies and stage adaptations, and who’s reading the book today.

Published: August 21, 2018 | Review to Come


Foul Lady Fortune by Chloe Gong

Amazon | Bookshop | Goodreads

What you need to know: A spy and an assassin go undercover as a married couple to expose a terror cell murdering civilians in 1931 Shanghai. A companion to the THESE VIOLENT DELIGHTS duology. Twisty and engrossing. I read this because I agreed to review the sequel and wanted to be ready to jump into it.

Published: September 27, 2022 | Review to Come


The Diary of a Young Girl: The Definitive Edition by Anne Frank

Amazon | Bookshop | Goodreads

What you need to know: Diary entries written by a young Jewish girl in the Netherlands who went into hiding with her family during the Nazi occupation of the country. I thought I’d read this in school, but it turns out I read a play instead. I wanted to read this before reading a graphic novel adaptation that’s been banned near me.

Published: May 15, 2022 (orig. 1947) | Review to Come


Anne Frank’s Diary: The Graphic Adaptation by Anne Frank, adapted by Ari Folman, and Illustrated by David Polonsky

Amazon | Bookshop | Goodreads

What you need to know: A graphic adaptation of the diary kept by Anne Frank as a teenager as she lived in hiding during the Nazi occupation of her homeland in World War II. Banned for a scene in which Anne expresses attraction for a female friend. This is the only graphic adaptation approved by the Anne Frank Foundation.

Published: October 7, 2017 | Review to Come


The Goose Girl (Books of Bayern #1) by Shannon Hale

Amazon | Bookshop | Goodreads

What you need to know: The story of a young princess who can speak to birds and her journey to a new country to be queen. Based on a fairytale recorded by the Grimm Brothers.

Published: December 1, 2008 | Review to Come


Disfigured: On Fairytales, Disability, and Making Space

Amazon | Bookshop | Goodreads

What you need to know: A deconstruction/discussion of some fairytales and their history from the perspective of a writer with Cerebral Palsy. Looks at what popular fairytales teach about personal value, morality, and disability.

Published: February 11, 2020 | Review to Come


Furia by Yamile Saied Méndez

Amazon | Bookshop | Goodreads

What you need to know: Fabulous and unforgettable. A multiracial young soccer player in Argentina faces prejudice, injury, the pull of romance, and threats as she seeks to win a tournament that could change her life.

Published: September 15, 2020 | Review to Come


Elatsoe by Darcy Little Badger

Amazon | Bookshop | Goodreads

What you need to know: When her cousin dies under mysterious circumstances, Ellie faces monsters and dark magic with friends and her ghost dog at her side. This one has been on my list for SO long! I loved it and can’t wait to read more by Darcy Little Badger.

Published: August 25, 2020 | Review to Come


What’s on your fall 2023 backlist reading list?

Did you read anything published before this year from your To Be Read pile? If not, what’s the next backlist title you hope to crack open?

Let me know if you read any of the books from my list. I’d love to know what you thought about them!

Review: She Deserves Better by Sheila Wray Gregoire, Rebecca Gregoire Lindenback, and Joanna Sawatsky

She Deserves Better: Raising Girls to Resist Toxic Teachings on Sex, Self, and Speaking Up
Sheila Wray Gregoire, Rebecca Gregoire Lindenback, and Joanna Sawatsky
Baker
Published April 18, 2023

Amazon | Bookshop | Goodreads

About She Deserves Better

You want your daughter to thrive–to be strong, confident, and equipped to step into the life God has for her.

But what if the church is setting your daughter up to be small?

Armed with data from an all-new survey of over 7,000 women, the authors of THE GREAT SEX RESCUE reveal how experiences in church as teens affect women’s self-esteem and relationships today. They expose common evangelical teachings that can backfire–the purity emphasis that can cause shame rather than good choices, the dating rules that can prime your daughter for abuse, and the one overarching belief that can keep her from setting healthy boundaries.

Instead, the authors advocate biblically grounded, freeing messages that are more about the dos and less about the don’ts. By reframing (and sometimes replacing) common evangelical messages to teen girls, this book will equip you to raise a daughter who can navigate the tumultuous teenage years while still clinging tightly to Jesus.

You can raise your daughter with the discernment to resist toxic teachings. Because she deserves better than a faith that keeps her small.

“Sheila, Rebecca, and Joanna are an all-star team, confronting the harm done to our daughters in both the church and the world. The title says it all. Full stop. Our daughters deserve better! This book is full of thorough research, refreshingly commonsense biblical wisdom, and practical help on how to talk with our daughters and prepare them for confidence and maturity.”–Aimee Byrd, author of The Sexual Reformation –This text refers to the paperback edition.

Why I’m Reviewing She Deserves Better

I’m finding writing up my review to be a bit overwhelming, so I’m going to break it down into sections to help me focus my thoughts. First, let’s talk about why I decided to review this book.

I was raised in what would now probably be identified as a fundamentalist/evangelical church. To be honest, I had some good and bad experiences there. That complexity sometimes makes it hard for me to sort out my feelings about certain faith-based things. Though I am still myself a Christian, I am not part of the evangelical community. I once heard someone describe her family as Liberal Christians, and I would say that’s a label that’s closer to accurate for me.

Periodically, I dip my toes into the Christian literary market to try to find books and resources that resonate with me and are things I can confidently promote. Sometimes I regret it. But other times I find books that deeply energize me and encourage me in my faith journey.

I first heard about SHE DESERVES BETTER on one of the authors’ Twitter pages during some discourse about church scandals and the treatment of women in the church. As I read more of the posts on the author’s page, I found I agreed with several of her statements. When I noticed she was part of a team of three women who had a book for moms and daughters coming out, I decided to try to get a copy for review.

Rejecting Purity Culture But Replacing It with… What?

My home growing up didn’t adhere to some fundamentalist ideas, (my mom has always been an assertive person who expresses her views, for example) but we were part of a church community that absolutely preached the values and ideas of purity culture.

While I’ve rejected… most? all? I’m not thoroughly sure here… of those ideas, I’ve struggled to find healthier/more reasonable ways to express what I do believe about some of these issues. For example, I recently had a conversation with a family member about the way my daughter dresses. I don’t have a problem with the way she dresses, but this family member had some concerns and related those concerns in the language of purity culture. “She needs to remember there are boys in the house while she’s wearing those things,” etc.

I defended my daughter (the problem seemed to be that she’s young and curvy) and pretty plainly said that I would not make the burden of someone else’s possible thoughts her responsibility. But I struggled to explain my parental boundaries for her clothing choices. I do have them. But they’re about how she feels about herself and what she thinks about her body, not what someone else thinks. Still, I found myself wishing for a resource to help me quantify this and help me reassure my daughter. I also handle wanted better tools to handle people coming at me with purity culture complaints so I can respond in a way I find satisfying.

My Review of She Deserves Better

Lemme give you the nutshell version first. While I didn’t agree 100% with everything the authors said and how they said it, I came pretty close. I loved the premise of the book. I loved the consistent calls to do what is healthy and loving. The authors also state multiple times the importance of being in a church community that is itself healthy and supportive of young women. They go so far as to counsel families to leave churches with toxic teaching because of the potential damage it can cause. I recommend this book to anyone raised in purity culture and/or anyone raising girls in the church today.

Essentially, they studied the effects of the purity culture movement and other teachings that young women in evangelical churches are often still being taught today. A bible verse warns us to look at the outcomes of behavior using the metaphor of trees producing fruit. If a tree produces bad fruit, the tree should be cut down and tossed in the fire. So the authors break down different teachings and looks at the outcomes. For example, they look at the effects of teaching a girl that her outfit choice can cause a man to sin. Does this make her more likely to end up in an abusive marriage? Does it make her more likely to have low self-esteem? To report problems in her sexual relationship? (Yes to all these.) Things like that.

Tools to Process My Own Experiences and Teach My Daughter a Healthier Way

There were certain chapters that read like pages out of my own life. It was honestly pretty eerie. I’ve known for a long time that some things I believed in high school and shortly afterward were wrong and dangerous, but those beliefs absolutely cost me. They left me vulnerable to situations in which bad stuff happened. They left me feeling as though I didn’t have choices in things that happened, and that I didn’t have any allies to whom I could turn for support.

So. Yeah. I don’t want to pass any of that on to my daughter. We’ve done a lot of learning about consent and a lot of teaching about personal boundaries and expectations. All of the things I’ve learned about those topics lined up with what the authors were saying here in SHE DESERVES BETTER.

I loved that again and again the book comes back to asking the question, “what happens to girls who were raised with these teachings?” That’s so important. We know that some of these things are really harmful, and it’s time to stop teaching them, and to push back in spaces where they are still being taught.

Topics Explored in She Deserves Better

Here’s a list of some of the topics/teachings explored in the book:

  • How teachings regarding feelings, especially anxiety and depression, can impact a girl’s health and life.
  • How teachings on boundaries impact girls and the importance of teaching girls they can set personal boundaries and expect them to be respected.
  • How dating and dating rules impact a girl’s lifelong relationships.
  • Learning to and teaching girls to identify red flags for toxic or dangerous people.
  • How a comprehensive sex education empowers girls to be safer and happier longterm.
  • How teachings about consent impact girls (and boys).
  • How teachings about modesty or clothing choices impacts how girls see themselves and others.
  • How teachings about leadership and submission impact girls.

Each chapter gives examples from the authors’ research supporting their assertions. They also offer conversations topics and exercises that moms and daughters could work through together.

Content Notes

Recommended for Ages 16 up.

Representation
Doesn’t specify race details in any of the text or example stories. The intended audience is evangelical Christians.

Profanity/Crude Language Content
The authors use a metaphor about a candy that tasted delicious but caused explosive diarrhea to describe the harmfulness of teaching that looks or seems biblical at first but is not and causes harm.

Romance/Sexual Content
A fair amount of the book focuses on the way parents and church leaders teach girls about sex and relationships. It discusses how those teachings impact the likelihood of good or bad outcomes (happy marriages versus abusive relationships, etc).

The authors talk about the damage caused by rejecting a child or their feelings if they come to you to reveal their gender or sexual identity. Essentially the authors point out that being a part of a faith community generally lowers a child’s chance of experiencing suicidal thoughts or attempting suicide unless they are LGBTQIA+. Then, participation in a church community actually increases the likelihood they’ll have those thoughts or attempts.

Later on, the authors refer to an LGBTQIA+ identity as an “unwanted identity”. I’m not sure from the context if they’re intending to speak globally or referring to the feelings of homophobic parents.

The authors very plainly ask parents to choose to validate and love their kids no matter the feelings they have. They emphasize the importance of support from within their faith community.

Spiritual Content
The core premise of the book is to approach teachings about sex and modesty in the church and look at their effect on specifically women’s lives. Do those teachings bear good fruit, as described in Matthew 7:17-18?

Violent Content
Brief mentions of domestic violence, assault and abusive relationships.

Drug Content
Mentions of teens drinking alcohol and using drugs (as a negative behavior).

Note: This post contains affiliate links, which do not cost you anything to use, but which help support this blog. I received a free copy of SHE DESERVES BETTER in exchange for my honest review.

Review: Your Place or Mine? by Charlotte Schwartz

Your Place or Mine?: Practical Advice for Developing a Co-Parenting Strategy After Separating
Charlotte Schwartz
Dundurn Press
Published September 27, 2022

Amazon | Bookshop | Goodreads

About Your Place or Mine?

Navigate the challenges of co-parenting with practical advice and legal tips.

So you did it. You separated. And now the kids that you always planned to raise together are being raised apart. Most people don’t start a family expecting not to see their children every day, and yet roughly half of us end up in that scenario. From there, it’s a Choose-Your-Own-Adventure — and there are many choices you can make.

Your Place or Mine? is a detailed resource for separating parents. It will help you navigate the legal system, including negotiating a settlement, mediation, and litigation, and explains the nuances of different paths to dispute resolution. It also provides specific advice about what to include in a compassionate separation agreement, such as specifying how far parents can live from each other, where transitions take place, how to handle kids’ belongings, communication, future disputes, and introducing your child to a new partner.

Schwartz introduces you to several families (including her own) with separated parents, as well as adults who were raised by co-parents, and offers their insights. She also provides accessible advice from psychologists on kids’ mental health, as well as tips from family law lawyers, who share anecdotes about the world of co-parenting.

My Review

Why I read this book

First of all, I should reassure my friends and family who follow my blog that I didn’t request a review copy of this book because I’m thinking of separating or getting divorced. Ha! That’s not on the horizon for me.

The reason I wanted to read this book was more for the focus on how to co-parent through separation and divorce, since I have a child with a partner I’m no longer married to. Which means I am one of the masses of parents who navigate co-parenting on a daily basis.

I wanted to read this book to see if there are things I can add to my toolbox so to speak. Techniques I’d never used or questions I should consider.

What’s in the book

At any rate, I’d say about 50-60% of the book is more a walk-through of what separation and divorce entail from a legal perspective. What is the process? What does it look like? Are there advantages to pursuing mediation versus going to court?

There were some great notes on finding support and good legal representation, too. She talked about the importance of a good support system and what that looks like through a divorce process. She also discussed questions to ask your legal representative and questions they should be asking you. How do you know they’re doing a good job? That kind of thing.

Additionally, she briefly explained of the evolution of family law in terms of what used to be the standard approach (Mom’s care and custody of children used to be the priority) versus the approach now (it’s recognized that children do the best when both parents are involved in their lives, so courts will not prioritize one parent’s care over the other unless abuse has been proven.).

Who is the legal advice most relevant to?

It’s worth noting that she lives and works in Ontario, Canada, so the legal advice is most relevant to readers living there, but I am familiar with some of the things she discussed from my own experience in the US. So some things are pretty broadly accepted.

I think a book like this would have been really helpful while I was going through a separation/divorce before. I had no idea what to expect, and didn’t really have anyone close to me I could ask advice from. Separating is a huge, stressful experience, especially when you have a child who’s experiencing the grief and disruption of that separation on top of trying to work through your own emotions and navigate issues with your former partner.

So yeah, I think I would have gotten a lot out of a straightforward book like this.

Navigating changes in the relationship between yourself and your partner

There was a fair amount of advice on navigating the relationship between yourself and your ex. I liked her advice and the advice from clients that she shared as well. It basically boils down to considering the needs of the children first and foremost and treating the other person like they are a good parent even if they weren’t a good partner to you. I thought those were both really great point, even if hard to put into practice sometimes.

All in all, I think this is a really practical, gentle guide for people going through separation from a partner with whom they have one or more children. It’s pretty comprehensive and helps make what is a very overwhelming process feel more orderly. With the book, not only is there a light at the end of the tunnel, she tells you what the tunnel looks like and where some of the tricky twists and turns are likely to be.

I highly recommend this book for people in the process of getting separated and/or divorced.

Content Notes

Recommended for Ages 18 up.

Representation
Written by a white, middle class woman. She practices family law in Canada and is divorced herself and a child of divorced parents. She includes testimonies from marginalized clients, including BIPOC and LGBTQ2S partners.

Profanity/Crude Language Content
Extreme profanity used very infrequently.

Romance/Sexual Content
None.

Spiritual Content
References to the importance of faith community as a part of your chosen support network if you desire.

Violent Content
None.

Drug Content
None.

Note: This post contains affiliate links, which do not cost you anything to use, but which help support this blog. I received a free copy of YOUR PLACE OR MINE in exchange for my honest review.