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Review: Past Present Future by Rachel Lynn Solomon

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Past Present Future by Rachel Lynn Solomon

Past Present Future (Rowan & Neil #2)
Rachel Lynn Solomon
Simon & Schuster
Published June 4, 2024

Amazon | Bookshop | Goodreads

About Past Present Future

They fell for each other in just twenty-four hours. Now Rowan and Neil embark on a long-distance relationship during their first year of college in this romantic, dual points of view sequel to Today Tonight Tomorrow .

When longtime rivals Rowan Roth and Neil McNair confessed their feelings on the last day of senior year, they knew they’d only have a couple months together before they left for college. Now summer is over, and they’re determined to make their relationship work as they begin school in different states.

In Boston, Rowan is eager to be among other aspiring novelists, learning from a creative writing professor she adores. She’s just not sure why she suddenly can’t seem to find her voice.

In New York, Neil embraces the chaos of the city, clicking with a new friend group more easily than he anticipated. But when his past refuses to leave him alone, he doesn’t know how to handle his rapidly changing mental health—or how to talk about it with the girl he loves.

Over a year of late-night phone calls, weekend visits, and East Coast adventures, Rowan and Neil fall for each other again and again as they grapple with the uncertainty of their new lives. They’ve spent so many years at odds with each other—now that they’re finally on the same team, what does the future hold for them?

My Review

It can’t be easy to write a romance in which the characters begin already in love and in a relationship. Yet, this book does it, and does it well. Rowan and Neil begin their college adventure uncertain about many things, but their relationship isn’t one of them.

Reading a story about high achievers in high school having to completely readjust for college life was really fascinating. Rowan and Neil both worked hard in high school, so it wasn’t like they got to college and didn’t realize it would be hard. They just didn’t realize what kind of hard it would be, if that makes sense? They were prepared for academic challenges. But other parts of college life took them by surprise. I loved the way the author highlighted that and showed the things they struggled with in a nuanced way. It’s far more complex than nerds struggling to make new friends, though both Neil and Rowan face unexpected social challenges.

I love reading about characters who write, so I loved following Rowan’s creative journey as well. Her struggle in class, her dissatisfaction with her work, and her feelings of being stuck made so much sense.

The book has great minor characters, too. Rowan and Neil make new friends, and their closest relationships from Today Tonight Tomorrow reappear here and there. Even when they’re only on scene for a few pages, these characters felt fully formed and, in many cases, like friends I’d want to have myself.

I think readers who fell in love with Rowan and Neil in Today Tonight Tomorrow will love seeing the continuation of their story. It’s less a romance between two people, though, and more a romance of falling in love with yourself. It’s about how having a stable, loving relationship doesn’t solve everything, but it can ground you and offer a boost of confidence to help you face those questions. Past Present Future is a sweet summer read, perfect for recent high school graduates preparing to embark on the next chapter of their own journeys.

Content Notes

Recommended for Ages 16 up.

Representation
Both Neil and Rowan are Jewish. Rowan is also Mexican American on her mom’s side. Several characters are queer. At least one character has depression.

Profanity/Crude Language Content
Regular use of swearing, including F-bombs.

Romance/Sexual Content
Some scenes show deep kissing. A few scenes show or lead up to the characters having sex. It’s not overly described, but there are some details. Characters exchange explicit text messages. One scene includes masturbating.

Spiritual Content
Neil attends Shabbat services. His and Rowan’s families celebrate Hanukkah. As Neil learns about psychology, he learns about the connection between the Jewish value of self-actualization and how that drove many Jewish psychologists to pursue knowledge and advances in understanding within the field.

Violent Content
A boy gets hit in the face with a frisbee. References to a past violent altercation in which a man attacked a teenager with a baseball bat. References to domestic violence.

Drug Content
Neil’s father is an alcoholic. Both Rowan and Neil attend parties or gatherings at which alcohol is served. Neil has one drink. Rowan drinks as well. At one point, she drinks too much and ends up violently ill and hung over. A minor character uses a vape pen. Neil notes the smell of marijuana at a party.

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Review: Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents by Lindsay C. Gibson, PsyD

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Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents: How to Heal from Distant, Rejecting or Self-Involved Parents
Lindsay C. Gibson, PsyD
New Harbinger Publications
Published June 1, 2015

Amazon | Bookshop | Goodreads

About Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents

If you grew up with an emotionally immature, unavailable, or selfish parent, you may have lingering feelings of anger, loneliness, betrayal, or abandonment. You may recall your childhood as a time when your emotional needs were not met, when your feelings were dismissed, or when you took on adult levels of responsibility in an effort to compensate for your parent’s behavior. These wounds can be healed, and you can move forward in your life.

In this breakthrough book, clinical psychologist Lindsay Gibson exposes the destructive nature of parents who are emotionally immature or unavailable. You will see how these parents create a sense of neglect, and discover ways to heal from the pain and confusion caused by your childhood. By freeing yourself from your parents’ emotional immaturity, you can recover your true nature, control how you react to them, and avoid disappointment. Finally, you’ll learn how to create positive, new relationships so you can build a better life.

Discover the four types of difficult parents:

  • The emotional parent instills feelings of instability and anxiety.
  • The driven parent stays busy trying to perfect everything and everyone.
  • The passive parent avoids dealing with anything upsetting. 
  • The rejecting parent is withdrawn, dismissive, and derogatory.

My Review

I came across this book while I was browsing on Twitter. Someone I’m close to was going through a challenging conflict with a parent, and when I saw this book, I thought, hey, maybe this could be a good resource.

I started reading the opening pages, and it was like… all of a sudden, some of the relationships I’ve had deep struggles with in my life started to make sense. Things clicked. Some of the descriptions of emotionally immature behavior were absolutely spot-on for some of the people in my life. So I bought the book, thinking maybe it would give me better insights on those relationships, too.

Easy to Read, Broken into Three Parts

Here’s my favorite thing about this book: it’s broken down into three parts. The first part pretty much breaks down common behaviors of emotionally immature people. The goal is learning to see the person from a more objective view and recognizing patterns, especially those that hurt.

The second part of the book turns the magnifying glass on the reader. How have we responded to the emotionally immature people in our lives? Basically, she breaks this into two big categories which she terms our healing fantasy (what we keep doing to try to “fix” the relationship) and our role-self (unnatural or unhealthy ways we’ve changed our behavior to try to make these relationships work).

Then, the last part of the book puts it all together. Now that we understand what’s happening in this other person and how we are responding, we look at dismantling the unhealthy responses. Changing our expectations. And setting up new ways to interact with this person that stop us from diving headfirst into the potholes we’ve been falling into.

There’s also a chapter that looks to future relationships and how to stop ourselves from pursuing the same harmful relationships over and over as well as how to look for signs of emotional immaturity, especially in a potential partner.

Best Relationship Book I’ve Ever Read

The writing is straightforward. Practical. Clear. I can’t think of another book on relationships that spelled things out as well as this book does. It pretty much blew my mind. I wanted to contact every person I know who has had challenging relationships with a parent and be like, “Stop what you are doing and READ THIS NOW!”

Normally I read nonfiction really slowly, but I couldn’t put this one down. Honestly, it felt so eye-opening, both in understanding behavior in others that was harmful and also in taking a hard look at myself and how my own behavior was harming me, too. Just, wow.

I liked that the book is really empowering and focuses on healing and healthy boundaries. Honestly, I can’t recommend it enough. If you find yourself having the same kinds of hurtful experiences over and over with people in your life, even if they’re not your parents, definitely check out this book.

Content Notes

Recommended for Ages 16 up.

Representation
No race details given about the case examples.

Profanity/Crude Language Content
None.

Romance/Sexual Content
None.

Spiritual Content
None.

Violent Content
Some brief references to verbal, emotional, or physical abuse.

Drug Content
References to addiction.

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