Category Archives: Blogger’s Favorites

Review: She Deserves Better by Sheila Wray Gregoire, Rebecca Gregoire Lindenback, and Joanna Sawatsky

She Deserves Better by Sheila Wray Gregoire, Rebecca Gregoire Lindenbach, and Joanna Sawatsky cover shows a silhouette of a girl's face, her chin lifted

She Deserves Better: Raising Girls to Resist Toxic Teachings on Sex, Self, and Speaking Up
Sheila Wray Gregoire, Rebecca Gregoire Lindenback, and Joanna Sawatsky
Baker
Published April 18, 2023

Amazon | Bookshop | Goodreads

About She Deserves Better

You want your daughter to thrive–to be strong, confident, and equipped to step into the life God has for her.

But what if the church is setting your daughter up to be small?

Armed with data from an all-new survey of over 7,000 women, the authors of THE GREAT SEX RESCUE reveal how experiences in church as teens affect women’s self-esteem and relationships today. They expose common evangelical teachings that can backfire–the purity emphasis that can cause shame rather than good choices, the dating rules that can prime your daughter for abuse, and the one overarching belief that can keep her from setting healthy boundaries.

Instead, the authors advocate biblically grounded, freeing messages that are more about the dos and less about the don’ts. By reframing (and sometimes replacing) common evangelical messages to teen girls, this book will equip you to raise a daughter who can navigate the tumultuous teenage years while still clinging tightly to Jesus.

You can raise your daughter with the discernment to resist toxic teachings. Because she deserves better than a faith that keeps her small.

“Sheila, Rebecca, and Joanna are an all-star team, confronting the harm done to our daughters in both the church and the world. The title says it all. Full stop. Our daughters deserve better! This book is full of thorough research, refreshingly commonsense biblical wisdom, and practical help on how to talk with our daughters and prepare them for confidence and maturity.”–Aimee Byrd, author of The Sexual Reformation –This text refers to the paperback edition.

Why I’m Reviewing She Deserves Better

I’m finding writing up my review to be a bit overwhelming, so I’m going to break it down into sections to help me focus my thoughts. First, let’s talk about why I decided to review this book.

I was raised in what would now probably be identified as a fundamentalist/evangelical church. To be honest, I had some good and bad experiences there. That complexity sometimes makes it hard for me to sort out my feelings about certain faith-based things. Though I am still myself a Christian, I am not part of the evangelical community. I once heard someone describe her family as Liberal Christians, and I would say that’s a label that’s closer to accurate for me.

Periodically, I dip my toes into the Christian literary market to try to find books and resources that resonate with me and are things I can confidently promote. Sometimes I regret it. But other times I find books that deeply energize me and encourage me in my faith journey.

I first heard about SHE DESERVES BETTER on one of the authors’ Twitter pages during some discourse about church scandals and the treatment of women in the church. As I read more of the posts on the author’s page, I found I agreed with several of her statements. When I noticed she was part of a team of three women who had a book for moms and daughters coming out, I decided to try to get a copy for review.

Rejecting Purity Culture But Replacing It with… What?

My home growing up didn’t adhere to some fundamentalist ideas, (my mom has always been an assertive person who expresses her views, for example) but we were part of a church community that absolutely preached the values and ideas of purity culture.

While I’ve rejected… most? all? I’m not thoroughly sure here… of those ideas, I’ve struggled to find healthier/more reasonable ways to express what I do believe about some of these issues. For example, I recently had a conversation with a family member about the way my daughter dresses. I don’t have a problem with the way she dresses, but this family member had some concerns and related those concerns in the language of purity culture. “She needs to remember there are boys in the house while she’s wearing those things,” etc.

I defended my daughter (the problem seemed to be that she’s young and curvy) and pretty plainly said that I would not make the burden of someone else’s possible thoughts her responsibility. But I struggled to explain my parental boundaries for her clothing choices. I do have them. But they’re about how she feels about herself and what she thinks about her body, not what someone else thinks. Still, I found myself wishing for a resource to help me quantify this and help me reassure my daughter. I also handle wanted better tools to handle people coming at me with purity culture complaints so I can respond in a way I find satisfying.

My Review of She Deserves Better

Lemme give you the nutshell version first. While I didn’t agree 100% with everything the authors said and how they said it, I came pretty close. I loved the premise of the book. I loved the consistent calls to do what is healthy and loving. The authors also state multiple times the importance of being in a church community that is itself healthy and supportive of young women. They go so far as to counsel families to leave churches with toxic teaching because of the potential damage it can cause. I recommend this book to anyone raised in purity culture and/or anyone raising girls in the church today.

Essentially, they studied the effects of the purity culture movement and other teachings that young women in evangelical churches are often still being taught today. A bible verse warns us to look at the outcomes of behavior using the metaphor of trees producing fruit. If a tree produces bad fruit, the tree should be cut down and tossed in the fire. So the authors break down different teachings and looks at the outcomes. For example, they look at the effects of teaching a girl that her outfit choice can cause a man to sin. Does this make her more likely to end up in an abusive marriage? Does it make her more likely to have low self-esteem? To report problems in her sexual relationship? (Yes to all these.) Things like that.

Tools to Process My Own Experiences and Teach My Daughter a Healthier Way

There were certain chapters that read like pages out of my own life. It was honestly pretty eerie. I’ve known for a long time that some things I believed in high school and shortly afterward were wrong and dangerous, but those beliefs absolutely cost me. They left me vulnerable to situations in which bad stuff happened. They left me feeling as though I didn’t have choices in things that happened, and that I didn’t have any allies to whom I could turn for support.

So. Yeah. I don’t want to pass any of that on to my daughter. We’ve done a lot of learning about consent and a lot of teaching about personal boundaries and expectations. All of the things I’ve learned about those topics lined up with what the authors were saying here in SHE DESERVES BETTER.

I loved that again and again the book comes back to asking the question, “what happens to girls who were raised with these teachings?” That’s so important. We know that some of these things are really harmful, and it’s time to stop teaching them, and to push back in spaces where they are still being taught.

Topics Explored in She Deserves Better

Here’s a list of some of the topics/teachings explored in the book:

  • How teachings regarding feelings, especially anxiety and depression, can impact a girl’s health and life.
  • How teachings on boundaries impact girls and the importance of teaching girls they can set personal boundaries and expect them to be respected.
  • How dating and dating rules impact a girl’s lifelong relationships.
  • Learning to and teaching girls to identify red flags for toxic or dangerous people.
  • How a comprehensive sex education empowers girls to be safer and happier longterm.
  • How teachings about consent impact girls (and boys).
  • How teachings about modesty or clothing choices impacts how girls see themselves and others.
  • How teachings about leadership and submission impact girls.

Each chapter gives examples from the authors’ research supporting their assertions. They also offer conversations topics and exercises that moms and daughters could work through together.

Content Notes

Recommended for Ages 16 up.

Representation
Doesn’t specify race details in any of the text or example stories. The intended audience is evangelical Christians.

Profanity/Crude Language Content
The authors use a metaphor about a candy that tasted delicious but caused explosive diarrhea to describe the harmfulness of teaching that looks or seems biblical at first but is not and causes harm.

Romance/Sexual Content
A fair amount of the book focuses on the way parents and church leaders teach girls about sex and relationships. It discusses how those teachings impact the likelihood of good or bad outcomes (happy marriages versus abusive relationships, etc).

The authors talk about the damage caused by rejecting a child or their feelings if they come to you to reveal their gender or sexual identity. Essentially the authors point out that being a part of a faith community generally lowers a child’s chance of experiencing suicidal thoughts or attempting suicide unless they are LGBTQIA+. Then, participation in a church community actually increases the likelihood they’ll have those thoughts or attempts.

Later on, the authors refer to an LGBTQIA+ identity as an “unwanted identity”. I’m not sure from the context if they’re intending to speak globally or referring to the feelings of homophobic parents.

The authors very plainly ask parents to choose to validate and love their kids no matter the feelings they have. They emphasize the importance of support from within their faith community.

Spiritual Content
The core premise of the book is to approach teachings about sex and modesty in the church and look at their effect on specifically women’s lives. Do those teachings bear good fruit, as described in Matthew 7:17-18?

Violent Content
Brief mentions of domestic violence, assault and abusive relationships.

Drug Content
Mentions of teens drinking alcohol and using drugs (as a negative behavior).

Note: This post contains affiliate links, which do not cost you anything to use, but which help support this blog. I received a free copy of SHE DESERVES BETTER in exchange for my honest review.

Review: Flip Turns by Catherine Arguelles

Flip Turns
Catherine Arguelles
Jolly Fish Press
Published September 13, 2022

Amazon | Bookshop | Goodreads

About Flip Turns

Thirteen-year-old Maddie just wants her classmate, Lucas, to leave her alone. He keeps asking her out—as if she hasn’t already said no a thousand times! Focusing on her competitive swim team, the Electric Eels, Maddie tries to ignore him, hoping he’ll go away.

But then, when someone starts sabotaging Maddie’s family-owned pool—glass on the deck, ketchup in the pool, followed by a “code brown”—Maddie worries it’s her “admirer” trying to get even. After Maddie’s parents rule the problems at the pool just harmless pranks, Maddie and her best friend Ez decide to investigate on their own. Could it be Lucas? And how can Maddie get him to leave her alone once and for all? The future of the Electric Eels and Maddie’s family legacy are on the line.

My Review

I’ve been hearing about this book a lot on Twitter, so I was really excited to check it out. Plus the characters being on a swim team and the main character dealing with unwanted romantic attention both caught my eye– I wanted to see how those played out in a middle grade book.

I’ve never been part of a swim team or anything like that, but I loved the opportunity to read about a team. The story hit just the right balance between describing meets, races, and different strokes and making everything very accessible to readers who aren’t familiar with the sport.

I found Maddie’s character so relatable, especially as she deals with Lucas, the boy who won’t stop asking her to go out with him. She tries to be chill and calm, but inside, she’s really uncomfortable. She worries that whatever she does will just escalate his behavior. When the pranks start happening at the pool, she worries that’s exactly what is happening.

Maddie’s best friend Ez is also great. She’s a high-achieving, outspoken girl who helps Maddie face her fears and energizes her to do things that Maddie feels anxious about. She’s not pushy or over-the-top. I felt like those two were a great pair.

I also liked the way the story juxtaposes Lucas, who does not respect Maddie’s space or boundaries, with Nico, who does. While Nico isn’t perfect, he offers Maddie space when she needs it and takes responsibility when he’s wrong. I thought putting those two very different experiences with boys side by side helped create a bigger picture of relationships and how to navigate them in a healthy way.

Conclusion

All in all, I really liked FLIP TURNS. It has a little bit of intensity, but not too much for the target audience. It gently but clearly introduces ideas about boundaries and respect in relationships, which is a great message for middle school readers. And it’s all wrapped up in a fun, mysterious story.

I think fans of CHIRP by Kate Messner or THE QUEEN BEE AND ME by Gillian McDunn will really enjoy this book.

Content Notes

Recommended for Ages 10 to 14.

Representation
Maddie has anxiety. Nico is half-Latino. Maddie’s older sister is dating a girl. Two of the girls on her swim team are dating. Maddie’s best friend has alopecia.

Profanity/Crude Language Content
Someone puts poop in the pool.

Romance/Sexual Content
A boy is making unwanted advances at Maddie. She’s told him no multiple times, but he continues pursuing her romantically. Kissing between boy and girl.

Spiritual Content
None.

Violent Content
Maddie’s parents’ pool business receives a series of pranks, some obnoxious, others dangerous. Maddie finds glass next to the pool. A girl collapses after inhaling chlorine fumes.

Drug Content
None.

Note: This post contains affiliate links, which do not cost you anything to use, but which help support this blog. I received a free copy of FLIP TURNS in exchange for my honest review.

Review: The Poet X by Elizabeth Acevedo

The Poet X
Elizabeth Acevedo
HarperTeen
Published March 6, 2018

Amazon | Bookshop | Goodreads

About The Poet X

Fans of Jacqueline Woodson, Meg Medina, and Jason Reynolds will fall hard for this astonishing New York Times-bestselling novel-in-verse by an award-winning slam poet, about an Afro-Latina heroine who tells her story with blazing words and powerful truth.

Xiomara Batista feels unheard and unable to hide in her Harlem neighborhood. Ever since her body grew into curves, she has learned to let her fists and her fierceness do the talking.

But Xiomara has plenty she wants to say, and she pours all her frustration and passion onto the pages of a leather notebook, reciting the words to herself like prayers—especially after she catches feelings for a boy in her bio class named Aman, who her family can never know about.

With Mami’s determination to force her daughter to obey the laws of the church, Xiomara understands that her thoughts are best kept to herself. So when she is invited to join her school’s slam poetry club, she doesn’t know how she could ever attend without her mami finding out. But she still can’t stop thinking about performing her poems.

Because in the face of a world that may not want to hear her, Xiomara refuses to be silent.

My Review

I’ve had a copy of this book for years, and somehow I hadn’t managed to read it before. When my youngest was little, I read WITH THE FIRE ON HIGH by Elizabeth Acevedo, and I loved the depth and descriptions in the book. Since then, I’ve been a huge fan of this author. So. Finally I read her award-winning, debut novel in verse.

And I loved it.

Which I suppose should not be a surprise.

As mentioned, it’s a novel in verse. Even though the lines are spare, the story is so rich with its descriptions, characters, and emotions. The relationship between Xiomara and her mom. Her brother. The priest. Her best friend, and a boy at school. They’re all so well-developed and described.

I also loved the way the story explored her feelings about her faith. It’s complicated. But Xio doesn’t really feel understood by or interested in church and the things the priest teaches in her confirmation class. Her mom has really specific expectations and beliefs about church and faith. Her brother has other beliefs and values as a devout person of faith. I liked that the story showed a spectrum of belief and experience without making the book really about those things.

Really, this is a story about a girl finding her voice. Believing in her value. Learning about love– how to love herself, how to love someone else, and how to receive love from others, too. It’s about the power of words.

So. Yeah. I feel like in a lot of ways, I’m still in awe of the story. I have a hard copy, but I also borrowed the audiobook (which is read by the author) from the library. As I read, I went back and forth between those two versions, and I really enjoyed both. I definitely recommend this book.

Content Notes on Poet X

Recommended for Ages 14 up.

Representation
Xiomara is Dominican American.

Profanity/Crude Language Content
None.

Romance/Sexual Content
Kissing between boy and girl. Brief description of masturbation. Xio sees two boys walking together and realizes they are a couple.

Spiritual Content
Xio’s mom is very religious and focused on Xiomara’s confirmation and piety. Xiomara attends confirmation classes but has so many questions about her faith and why they aren’t learning stories about girls like her. Her priest says it’s important to let her take time to find the answers to those questions.

Xio describes her brother as being very devout.

Violent Content
Xiomara has a reputation as a fighter. She will beat up anyone who picks on her twin brother or use her fists to defend herself.

Drug Content
References to smoking pot. In one scene, she drinks a beer with a boy.

Note: This post contains affiliate links, which do not cost you anything to use, but which help support this blog.

Review: Going Dark by Melissa da la Cruz

Going Dark
Melissa de la Cruz
Union Square Co.
Published January 31, 2023

Amazon | Bookshop | Goodreads

About Going Dark

“An intense rollercoaster of a thriller and a searing indictment of which victims get our attention and sympathy.”
#1 NEW YORK TIMES bestselling author Marie Lu

In this ripped-from-the-headlines GONE GIRL meets A GOOD GIRL’S GUIDE TO MURDER, #1 NEW YORK TIMES bestselling author Melissa de la Cruz weaves a white-knuckle YA thriller about a beautiful young influencer who vanishes after going on vacation with her boyfriend.

#WhereisAmeliaAshley

The Influencer
Amelia Ashley shares everything with her followers – her favorite hole-in-the-wall restaurants, her best fashion tips, and her European trip-of-a-lifetime with her hot boyfriend.

The Boyfriend
Josh has no choice but to return home without Amelia after she abandons him in Rome. He has no clue where she went or how her blood got in his suitcase. Why won’t anyone believe him?

The Hacker
To Harper Delgado, Amelia Ashley is just another missing white girl whipping up a media frenzy. But with each digital knot she untangles about the influencer, Harper wonders: who is Amelia Ashley?

The Other Girl
Two years ago, another girl went missing, one who never made headlines or had a trending hashtag.

The Truth
Amelia’s disappearance has captured the world’s attention. What comes next? Watch this space…

Told through a mixture of social media posts, diary entries, and firsthand accounts, GOING DARK is a gripping, suspenseful thriller about all the missing girls who fall off the radar, perfect for true crime fans and readers of ONE OF US IS LYING by Karen M. McManus.

My Review

I read this book really, really fast. I think I read the first 150 pages in under two hours? That’s unbelievably fast for me. It’s not easy to write in a way that can be consumed so quickly, so I feel like that in and of itself shows some big storytelling ability.

I can definitely see the comparison to ONE OF US IS LYING. GOING DARK had that same kind of danger-around-every-corner, clues-dropping-any-minute intensity. It was so easy to get swept away in the mystery and in trying to piece together all the clues. I loved that part of it.

The only thing I can say in terms of anything I wish had been different is that I wish the story hadn’t begun with Josh’s point of view. I can see why it had to, though. Once the story began introducing other perspectives, I was totally hooked.

I liked the thoughtful way the story explored how some missing persons cases can become big headlines while others don’t get enough attention from media and police. I also loved the relationship between sisters in the book. (You know I love sister stories!)

All in all, I really enjoyed reading GOING DARK, and I definitely think fans of Karen McManus or Courtney Summers would enjoy this book.

Content Notes

Recommended for Ages 12 up.

Representation
Harper is a Brown girl. Mignon and her sister are Chinese on their dad’s side.

Profanity/Crude Language Content
Strong profanity used infrequently.

Romance/Sexual Content
Kissing between boy and girl.

Spiritual Content
A girl sees and talks to another girl who isn’t there. She knows the other girl isn’t real but takes comfort in being able to speak with her.

Violent Content
Some descriptions of a boy acting possessively and in a controlling way. In one scene someone describes holding someone down against their will, killing them. A girl is stabbed in the stomach.

Drug Content
A group drinks wine at a house in Italy. They’re all of legal drinking age.

Note: This post contains affiliate links, which do not cost you anything to use, but which help support this blog. I received a free copy of GOING DARK in exchange for my honest review. All opinions my own.

Review: The Paper Daughters of Chinatown (Adapted for Young Readers) by Heather B. Moore and Allison Hong Merrill

The Paper Daughters of Chinatown (Adapted for Young Readers)
Heather B. Moore and Allison Hong Merrill
Shadow Mountain
Published April 11, 2023

Amazon | Bookshop | Goodreads

About The Paper Daughters of Chinatown

Based on the true story of two friends who unite to help rescue immigrant women and girls in San Francisco’s Chinatown in the late 1890s.

When Tai Choi leaves her home in the Zhejiang province of China, she believes it’s to visit her grandmother. But despite her mother’s opposition, her father has sold her to pay his gambling debts. Alone and afraid, Tai Choi is put on a ship headed for “Gold Mountain” (San Francisco). When she arrives, she’s forced to go by the name on her forged papers: Tien Fu Wu.

Her new life as a servant is hard. She is told to stay hidden, stay silent, and perform an endless list of chores, or she will be punished or sold again. If she is to survive, Tien Fu must persevere, and learn who to trust. Her life changes when she’s rescued by the women at the Occidental Mission Home for Girls.

When Dolly Cameron arrives in San Francisco to teach sewing at the mission home, she meets Tien Fu, who is willful, defiant, and unwilling to trust anyone. Dolly quickly learns that all the girls at the home were freed from servitude and maltreatment, and enthusiastically accepts a role in rescuing more.

Despite challenges, Dolly and Tien Fu forge a powerful friendship as they mentor and help those in the mission home and work to win the freedom of enslaved immigrant women and girls.

My Review

First let me say that this was a really easy book to read. It took less than 24 hours to finish it, and I’d guess it took me something like two and a half hours to read.

I really liked that so much of the story is told from Tien Fu Wu’s perspective, even though her story is heartbreaking. I liked getting to follow her through her recovery to the point where she decided to help rescue other girls and where she was able to use her own experience to understand how to comfort other girls.

All I can say about Dolly Cameron is that she must have been truly a force to be reckoned with. I loved the way her friendship with Tien Fu Wu developed and the growth they both experienced along the way.

I haven’t read the adult version of this book, so I don’t know what content was removed. One of the things I wish this book had given a little more background information on was why the president and his wife visited the mission home. I wanted to understand how that happened. How did they know about the mission, and was there something that prompted them to visit?

Other than that, I thought the book did a great job describing the lives of girls like Tien Fu Wu and the obstacles that Dolly Cameron and the women at the mission faced in order to help them.

I think readers who enjoy books about history will definitely want to check this one out. The writing style seems more like narrative nonfiction, but it’s classified as a novel. Something about it reminded me of a book called LI JUN AND THE IRON ROAD by Anne Tait.

Content Notes

Recommended for Ages 10 to 14.

Representation
Tien Fu Wu and some other characters are Chinese. Dolly is white.

Profanity/Crude Language Content
None.

Romance/Sexual Content
Vague references to brothels. One scene discusses a girl forced to work as a prostitute. (The book doesn’t describe what this means.)

Spiritual Content
Dolly and other characters are Christian. Some of the Chinese women they rescue convert to Christianity, though they are not required to do so. Dolly and the other leaders also include traditional Chinese culture and language in the lessons at the school.

Violent Content
Brief descriptions of abuse. For example, Tien Fu Wu’s owner burned her face with a hot poker and pinched her arms, leaving bruises.

Drug Content
As they walk the streets, sometimes characters smell opium being smoked in the buildings nearby.

Note: This post contains affiliate links, which do not cost you anything to use, but which help support this blog. I received a free copy of THE PAPER DAUGHTERS OF CHINATOWN in exchange for my honest review. All opinions my own.

6 Books That Will Get Your Kids Outside

Earth Day is Saturday April 22, so I’ve been thinking about books that inspire me and my girls to plant a real live tree, spend time outdoors, or maybe try composting (this is going to happen this year!). I love reading books that help us connect with nature through activities or simple suggestions. Though this list is short, it’s pretty broad. You’ll find a book about using nature to navigate from one place to another with real activities teaching you to do so as well as a nature guide and a nature craft and activity book. All of these books made me want to get outside and really notice the world around me. I hope you find some new favorites on this list of books that will get your kids outside, too.

6 Books That Will Get Your Kids Outside

How to Go Anywhere (And Not Get Lost) by Hans Aschim

Amazon | Bookshop | Goodreads

What you need to know: This book explains the science and history of navigation and sets up activities you can do outside to navigate using information from the natural world around you– trees, sun, stars, etc.

Ages: 8 up | Published March 30, 2021 | My Review


Outdoor School: Tree, Wildflower, and Mushroom Spotting by Mary Kay Carson and John D. Dawson

Amazon | Bookshop | Goodreads

What you need to know: Part nature guide, part journal. Teaches about classes of plants as well as how to identify specific species according to its unique characteristics. Journal spaces allow you to record plant sightings, drawings, and other notes.

Ages: 10-14 | Published February 28, 2023 | My Review


Braiding Sweetgrass for Young Adults by Robin Wall Kimmerer

Amazon | Bookshop | Goodreads

What you need to know: I had heard really great things about the adult version of this book, so when I saw that there was a young adult version, I jumped at the chance to read and review it here. I loved the introspective questions, the history and ecology lessons woven together in perfect harmony.

Ages: 12 up | Published November 1, 2022 | My Review


The Environment: Explore, Create and Investigate by Jonathon Litton

Amazon | BookshopGoodreads

What you need to know: I really liked the broad reach of the information it offers and pairs with experiments and activities. Perfect for use with a science unit or to inspire summer crafts.

Ages: 6-12 | Published September 22, 2020 | My Review


Girl Warriors by Rachel Sarah

Amazon | Bookshop | Goodreads

What you need to know: 25 profiles of young climate activists under 25 years old, how they got started making changes and how their work impacts communities across the globe. I found these stories incredibly inspiring and hopeful.

Ages: 8 up | Published April 6, 2021 | My Review


Make This Book Wild by Jo Schofield and Fiona Danks

Amazon | Bookshop | Goodreads

What you need to know: A super fun craft and activity book. Each page has instructions for a craft or journal that requires going into nature in order to complete it. A perfect way to get creative kids outside touching and looking closely at nature.

Ages: 6-12 | Published April 12, 2022 | My Review

What books will get your kids outside to interact with nature?

Are there books that inspire you or your kids to step outside and feel the grass? Maybe plant a tree or garden? What are your family’s favorite books about being outside?

More Books on Nature and the Environment

Here’s another list of ten books about the environment and nature for young readers.