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Review: Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents by Lindsay C. Gibson, PsyD

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Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents by Lindsay C. Gibson

Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents: How to Heal from Distant, Rejecting or Self-Involved Parents
Lindsay C. Gibson, PsyD
New Harbinger Publications
Published June 1, 2015

Amazon | Bookshop | Goodreads

About Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents

If you grew up with an emotionally immature, unavailable, or selfish parent, you may have lingering feelings of anger, loneliness, betrayal, or abandonment. You may recall your childhood as a time when your emotional needs were not met, when your feelings were dismissed, or when you took on adult levels of responsibility in an effort to compensate for your parent’s behavior. These wounds can be healed, and you can move forward in your life.

In this breakthrough book, clinical psychologist Lindsay Gibson exposes the destructive nature of parents who are emotionally immature or unavailable. You will see how these parents create a sense of neglect, and discover ways to heal from the pain and confusion caused by your childhood. By freeing yourself from your parents’ emotional immaturity, you can recover your true nature, control how you react to them, and avoid disappointment. Finally, you’ll learn how to create positive, new relationships so you can build a better life.

Discover the four types of difficult parents:

  • The emotional parent instills feelings of instability and anxiety.
  • The driven parent stays busy trying to perfect everything and everyone.
  • The passive parent avoids dealing with anything upsetting. 
  • The rejecting parent is withdrawn, dismissive, and derogatory.

My Review

I came across this book while I was browsing on Twitter. Someone I’m close to was going through a challenging conflict with a parent, and when I saw this book, I thought, hey, maybe this could be a good resource.

I started reading the opening pages, and it was like… all of a sudden, some of the relationships I’ve had deep struggles with in my life started to make sense. Things clicked. Some of the descriptions of emotionally immature behavior were absolutely spot-on for some of the people in my life. So I bought the book, thinking maybe it would give me better insights on those relationships, too.

Easy to Read, Broken into Three Parts

Here’s my favorite thing about this book: it’s broken down into three parts. The first part pretty much breaks down common behaviors of emotionally immature people. The goal is learning to see the person from a more objective view and recognizing patterns, especially those that hurt.

The second part of the book turns the magnifying glass on the reader. How have we responded to the emotionally immature people in our lives? Basically, she breaks this into two big categories which she terms our healing fantasy (what we keep doing to try to “fix” the relationship) and our role-self (unnatural or unhealthy ways we’ve changed our behavior to try to make these relationships work).

Then, the last part of the book puts it all together. Now that we understand what’s happening in this other person and how we are responding, we look at dismantling the unhealthy responses. Changing our expectations. And setting up new ways to interact with this person that stop us from diving headfirst into the potholes we’ve been falling into.

There’s also a chapter that looks to future relationships and how to stop ourselves from pursuing the same harmful relationships over and over as well as how to look for signs of emotional immaturity, especially in a potential partner.

Best Relationship Book I’ve Ever Read

The writing is straightforward. Practical. Clear. I can’t think of another book on relationships that spelled things out as well as this book does. It pretty much blew my mind. I wanted to contact every person I know who has had challenging relationships with a parent and be like, “Stop what you are doing and READ THIS NOW!”

Normally I read nonfiction really slowly, but I couldn’t put this one down. Honestly, it felt so eye-opening, both in understanding behavior in others that was harmful and also in taking a hard look at myself and how my own behavior was harming me, too. Just, wow.

I liked that the book is really empowering and focuses on healing and healthy boundaries. Honestly, I can’t recommend it enough. If you find yourself having the same kinds of hurtful experiences over and over with people in your life, even if they’re not your parents, definitely check out this book.

Content Notes

Recommended for Ages 16 up.

Representation
No race details given about the case examples.

Profanity/Crude Language Content
None.

Romance/Sexual Content
None.

Spiritual Content
None.

Violent Content
Some brief references to verbal, emotional, or physical abuse.

Drug Content
References to addiction.

Note: This post contains affiliate links, which do not cost you anything to use, but which help support this blog.

Review: Forest Feast for Kids by Erin Gleeson

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Forest Feast for Kids: Colorful Vegetarian Recipes That Are Simple to Make
Erin Gleeson
Abrams Books for Young Readers
Published February 16, 2016

Amazon | Bookshop | Goodreads

About Forest Feast for Kids

The first children’s cookbook from New York Times bestselling author and popular food blogger Erin Gleeson, The Forest Feast for Kids, serves up kid-friendly vegetarian recipes that are quick, easy, and fun to make. This unique cookbook showcases the rustic simplicity of the fare through vibrant colorful photography of Gleeson’s beautiful home in the woods and of children cooking the dishes themselves.

Each meal is simple and full of fresh and lively flavors that will appeal to kids. The natural beauty of Gleeson’s surroundings and the abundance of local produce serve as the inspiration for recipes such as:

Pesto Pepper Pizza
Rainbow Chard Quiche
Kale Tacos
Watermelon Smoothies

In addition to its recipes—which span meals, party food, snacks, and beverages—this nonfiction book includes ideas for crafty table decoration, party ideas, an illustrated guide on kitchen safety, and a glossary of culinary terms. The recipes are complemented by a mix of stunning photographs and art, including Gleeson’s own fanciful watercolor illustrations and hand lettering.

This beautifully designed children’s cookbook is perfect for foodies and parents looking for healthy recipes for children. It will also appeal to fans of Erin Gleeson’s blog and The Forest Feast.

My Review

This is the first time I’ve ever reviewed a cookbook on my blog! Here’s how this happened: I did some research looking for cookbooks for kids because I wanted to get one for my daughter for Christmas. She enjoys making banana bread and some other things like that with me, so I wanted to expand our repertoire. I picked FOREST FEAST FOR KIDS because I loved the idea of cooking with fruits, veggies, and nuts.

And the recipes definitely focus on those foods. Many of them have nuts. Several use carrot or zucchini either cut into spirals or ribbons. I like the idea of adding those to pasta dishes or salads for something new and fun. It’s a vegetarian cookbook. We are not a vegetarian household, but I think there are a lot of recipes in here that we’d all enjoy.

Here are some recipes we’ve tried already and how they went.

Recipes We Made

Butternut Quesadillas, pages 58-59. One of the ingredients in this one is roasted butternut squash. We make that for dinner fairly regularly and always have a little bit left over. I was excited to find a possible way to use it. I think the thyme definitely makes this recipe. It definitely does not have a TexMex flavor, but I enjoyed it.

Bay Potatoes, page 52. This one looked simply too good not to try. It’s sliced onion, potato, and sweet potato rounds layered with bay leaves, and topped with garlic, butter, and olive oil. My daughter enjoyed putting the layers all together and drizzling the butter and oil over the top. And they came out super yummy! This one is an instant family favorite.

Carrot “Noodle” Salad, page 46. This one looks a lot simpler than it was for us to prepare. I used a spiralizer to cut the carrots, and found that to be pretty challenging. (I’ve only used it on zucchini before, which worked fine, but carrots are harder to cut.) The dressing (olive oil, lemon juice, and salt to taste) was pretty plain, so we ended up adding a raspberry vinaigrette instead. Overall, this one was okay, but probably not something we’ll repeat. My daughter didn’t care for it.

Content Notes

Recommended for Ages 8 to 12.

Representation
There are a few cooking photos that show kids cooking.

Profanity/Crude Language Content
None.

Romance/Sexual Content
None.

Spiritual Content
None.

Violent Content
None.

Drug Content
None.

Note: This post contains affiliate links, which do not cost you anything to use, but which help support this blog.

Review: Meg, Jo, Beth, Amy: The Story of Little Women and Why It Still Matters by Amy Boyd Rioux

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Meg, Jo, Beth, Amy: The Story of Little Women and Why It Still Matters
Amy Boyd Rioux
W. W. Norton & Company
Published August 13, 2019

Amazon | Bookshop | Goodreads

About Meg, Jo, Beth, Amy

On its 150th anniversary, discover the story of the beloved classic that has captured the imaginations of generations.

Soon after publication on September 30, 1868, LITTLE WOMEN became an enormous bestseller and one of America’s favorite novels. Its popularity quickly spread throughout the world, and the book has become an international classic. When Anne Boyd Rioux read the novel in her twenties, she had a powerful reaction to the story. Through teaching the book, she has seen the same effect on many others.

In MEG, JO, BETH, AMY, Rioux recounts how Louisa May Alcott came to write LITTLE WOMEN, drawing inspiration for it from her own life. Rioux also examines why this tale of family and community ties, set while the Civil War tore America apart, has resonated through later wars, the Depression, and times of changing opportunities for women.

Alcott’s novel has moved generations of women, many of them writers: Simone de Beauvoir, J. K. Rowling, bell hooks, Cynthia Ozick, Jane Smiley, Margo Jefferson, and Ursula K. Le Guin were inspired by LITTLE WOMEN, particularly its portrait of the iconoclastic young writer, Jo. Many have felt, as Anna Quindlen has declared, “Little Women changed my life.”

Today, Rioux sees the novel’s beating heart in Alcott’s portrayal of family resilience and her honest look at the struggles of girls growing into women. In gauging its current status, Rioux shows why LITTLE WOMEN remains a book with such power that people carry its characters and spirit throughout their lives.

Why I Read Meg, Jo, Beth, Amy

Reading BELITTLED WOMEN by Amanda Sellet stirred up my curiosity about LITTLE WOMEN, which it pays homage to and perhaps very loosely retells. I hadn’t read LITTLE WOMEN and didn’t really know much about it, other than the 1994 movie, which I’ve watched countless times and still love.

A quick internet search about some of the assertions about the story and author mentioned in BELITTLED WOMEN led me to this book. I read LITTLE WOMEN earlier this year so that I’d have more familiarity with the commentary here and could compare it to my own experience reading the book. But I also wanted to read it because I’m seeing more and more retellings of the book.

Anyway. So I read LITTLE WOMEN, and then read this book, giving some history and commentary on it.

My Review

Where do I start? Ha. The book begins with a brief history of Louisa May Alcott’s life, highlighting parts of her childhood and family life that she pulled from in her imagining of her most popular novel. It also discusses her own thoughts about the book and its popularity. For example, she didn’t want to marry Jo off to someone but felt pressured by her fans. She was also known to rush out the back door if fans came to visit her.

The book also talks about how different generations have received LITTLE WOMEN and the changing commentary about the story across the decades. I found that really interesting. There’s a chapter that focuses on adaptations of LITTLE WOMEN to the stage or screen. I’ve only seen the 1994 and 2019 movies, so I made a list of other versions that I’d like to check out. I pitched a LITTLE WOMEN movie binge to my mom and daughter for the week of Thanksgiving, so we’ll see how that project turns out!

There is also a chapter in which the author lists writers who name LITTLE WOMEN as an influence on their work and/or count it among their favorite books. She also talks about who is reading the book still today, and how and when literature began to segregate itself into books for boys versus books for girls.

Conclusion

For the most part, I found this book to be deeply fascinating. I think I zoned out a teeny bit in the section listing authors who were inspired by the story. It was a little repetitive there. But I loved the chapter about the author’s life and the exploration of how different generations have related to this book. I also loved the focus on developing conversations about feminism and different takes on whether the book is progressive or conservative and why.

I’m really glad I read this one, and especially glad it was the catalyst for reading the original work, which I also really enjoyed. If you loved LITTLE WOMEN or even if you’ve never read it and just wonder what the fuss is about, be sure to grab a copy of this one.

Content Notes

Recommended for Ages 14 up.

Representation
The book mainly focuses on the life of Louisa May Alcott and her family.

Profanity/Crude Language Content
Mild profanity used very infrequently.

Romance/Sexual Content
References love and relationships from the book LITTLE WOMEN as portrayed in the book and on screen.

Spiritual Content
Brief discussion of Louisa May Alcott’s father’s restrictive religious beliefs and how they impacted her as a child. Conservatives of the day were upset with the lack of Christianity in the scenes of LITTLE WOMEN. For example, the book opens with the family celebrating Christmas but with no mention of going to church. When a character dies, there is no mention of her ascending to heaven. A stronger Christian theme was more common in popular novels of the day.

Violent Content
Brief mentions of war as a historical fact.

Drug Content
Like the March family, Louisa May Alcott and her family were against any consumption of alcohol.

Note: This post contains affiliate links, which do not cost you anything to use, but which help support this blog.

Review: Where There’s Smoke by E. B. Vickers

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Where There’s Smoke
E. B. Vickers
Knopf Books for Young Readers
Published December 12, 2023

Amazon | Bookshop | Goodreads

About Where There’s Smoke

In this fast-paced thriller, eighteen-year-old Calli finds herself alone after the loss of her father—until a bruised and broken girl shows up on her property, forcing her to face the present, rethink her future, and unearth the skeletons of her own past.

Life has never been easy in the small desert town of Harmony, but even on the day Calli Christopher buries her father, she knows she is surrounded by people who care about her. But after the funeral, when everyone has finally gone home, Calli discovers a girl on her property. A girl who’s dirty and bruised and unable to speak. And petrified.

Calli keeps the girl secret—well, almost secret. She calls her Ash and begins to nurture her back to health. But word spreads in a small town, and soon a detective comes around asking questions about a missing girl from another town. But these only raise more questions–about Ash and about the people Calli knows well. Still, she must ask: is Ash in danger…or is she the danger?

My Review

I love the way the author has chosen to tell this story. It’s got prose chapters from Calli’s perspective, and some short chapters or scenes in poetry in between them. The poems tell several other characters’ perspectives, and they’re a little bit veiled, really anchored in the context of what Calli learns in the scenes from her point of view.

It’s hard to talk about some of my feelings about this book without spoilers, but I’m going to do my best.

One of the things that made a lot of sense but sometimes frustrated me as a reader is the way that Calli waffled back and forth in her theories about what had happened to Ash. Sometimes, minute to minute, she’s convinced this person is totally guilty of harming Ash, and the next minute, she’s certain they’re innocent, and it must be someone else. It makes sense because new things keep happening, and she’s never sure who’s telling her the truth.

I did see some of the reveals in the book coming, but I think they were ones that maybe you were supposed to figure out ahead of time. There were definitely plenty of things I didn’t expect and some things that made me look back at earlier scenes with new eyes.

On the whole, I think the author did an amazing job creating a suspenseful story and including commentary on faith and faith communities in a neutral way that allows readers to draw their own conclusions about the characters separately from religion.

Content Notes

Recommended for Ages 14 up.

Representation
I think the major characters are white? Several characters are people who fled from a local cult.

Profanity/Crude Language Content
Strong profanity used somewhat infrequently.

Romance/Sexual Content
Calli references a past dating relationship with a boy. She also wonders if she’s falling in love with another boy.

Spiritual Content
Calli’s dad used to be the Bishop of her local church. Now, her dad’s cousin serves as Bishop. Calli still maintains her faith, and she references some Bible verses in times of need or when she faces tough decisions. Not far from Calli’s hometown is a small, very closed cult. There are rumors of children forced into marriage with much older men and girls who disappear, possibly murdered. Several characters have escaped from this group.

Violent Content
References to domestic violence and sexual assault. (Nothing graphically described or shown on scene.)

Drug Content
Calli finds empty beer bottles in a cabin that should be empty. References to adults drinking alcohol. Calli’s dad preached against drinking any alcohol at all.

Note: This post contains affiliate links, which do not cost you anything to use but which help support this blog. I received a free copy of WHERE THERE’S SMOKE in exchange for my honest review.

Review: Artifacts of an Ex by Jennifer Chen

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Artifacts of an Ex
Jennifer Chen
Wednesday Books
Published November 14, 2023

Amazon | Bookshop | Goodreads

About Artifacts of an Ex by Jennifer Chen

When Chloe Chang gets dumped via USPS after moving across the county from NYC to LA, her first instinct is to throw her box of memories in the garbage. Instead, she starts buying other teenagers’ break-up boxes to create an art exhibit, Heartifacts. Opening night is going great, until she spots Daniel Kwak illicitly filming his best friend’s reaction to his ex’s box. When she tries to stop him, an intense discussion ends up launching a creative partnership and friendship… and a major crush for Chloe.

There’s just one problem: Daniel is dead set on not being another rebound.

Five times he’s been the guy who makes the girls he’s dating realize they want to get back with their ex. And he refuses for there to be a sixth. She insists she’s over her ex, but when he shows up unexpectedly with his new girlfriend, it turns out Daniel was right. She isn’t ready for a new relationship.

She throws herself into making Heartifacts successful, but flashy influencers threaten her original vision of the exhibit. To create the exhibit she’s always wanted, Chloe needs to go back to basics, learn to work with artists in a more collaborative way, and discover what love can be. Only then will she convince Daniel she’s truly ready for everything they could be to one another.

In the tradition of Jenny Han and Emma Lord, Jennifer Chen’s ARTIFACTS OF AN EX is a story of love, art, and finding your way when everything you know has changed completely.

My Review

The whole story is told from Chloe’s point of view, which makes this a little different than some of the other contemporary YA romances I’ve read lately. I liked it that way, though. I felt like there was a good balance between the romance and Chloe’s family relationships and her investment in her exhibit, and I had no trouble figuring out what Daniel was thinking or doing because he appeared in a lot of scenes and was a pretty straightforward guy.

I liked Chloe’s friends, especially Vincent and Francesca, friends Chloe meets in Los Angeles. I felt like they contributed the right amounts of truth and humor in all the right places. Chloe’s grandmother has dementia, and watching Chloe and her family navigate the stages of that loss took me back to my own grandmother’s battle with Lewy Body dementia. I loved that Chloe’s Ahma still had moments of clarity and was able to connect with her, but it broke my heart every time her illness prevented her from being able to do that.

All in all, I loved reading this sweet romance peppered with strong side characters and full of art and life in Los Angeles. I can definitely see fans of Jenny Han and Emma Lord liking this one.

Content Notes

Recommended for Ages 14 up.

Representation
Chloe and Daniel are Asian American. Chloe’s best friend is bisexual. Daniel’s best friend is gay. Chloe makes another friend who is a lesbian.

Profanity/Crude Language Content
Strong profanity used a few times; mild profanity used more frequently.

Romance/Sexual Content
Kissing between a boy and girl. Chloe notices Daniel’s butt in one scene. In one scene, Daniel answers the door in a towel. References to sex. Brief touching on top of clothes in one scene.

Spiritual Content
None.

Violent Content
None.

Drug Content
None.

Note: This post contains affiliate links, which do not cost you anything but help support this blog. I received a free copy of ARTIFACTS OF AN EX in exchange for my honest review.

Review: Elatsoe by Darcy Little Badger

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Elatsoe
Darcy Little Badger
Levine Querido
Published August 25, 2020

Amazon | Bookshop | Goodreads

About Elatsoe

Imagine an America very similar to our own. It’s got homework, best friends, and pistachio ice cream.

There are some differences. This America has been shaped dramatically by the magic, monsters, knowledge, and legends of its peoples, those Indigenous and those not. Some of these forces are charmingly everyday, like the ability to make an orb of light appear or travel across the world through rings of fungi. But other forces are less charming and should never see the light of day.

Elatsoe lives in this slightly stranger America. She can raise the ghosts of dead animals, a skill passed down through generations of her Lipan Apache family. Her beloved cousin has just been murdered in a town that wants no prying eyes. But she is going to do more than pry. The picture-perfect facade of Willowbee masks gruesome secrets, and she will rely on her wits, skills, and friends to tear off the mask and protect her family.

My Review

I’ve had this book since it came out, and I can’t believe it took me over three years to finally read it! I totally see why this book is so popular, though. It has so much to offer. The voice is very young, which is perfect for YA. While the story is more serious, Ellie and her best friend Jay (no romance here) have a lot of silly banter and goofy moments that keep things from getting too grim.

I also really liked that Ellie’s family, especially her mom and her six-great-grandmother, are part of the story, but the focus remains on Ellie, and she drives the story forward. I think there’s one scene from her mom’s perspective, but even that centers on how she feels about Ellie and how she’s unable to save her.

All in all, I thought this was a well-paced, powerful story celebrating family legacy and identity. I just noticed that SHEINE LENDE, the prequel to ELATSOE, comes out next year, so I’m adding that one to my reading list for sure!

Content Notes

Recommended for Ages 12 up.

Representation
Ellie identifies as romantic asexual.

Profanity/Crude Language Content
Mild profanity used infrequently.

Romance/Sexual Content
None.

Spiritual Content
Ellie and some of her family members can raise ghosts. Ellie uses this gift to raise the ghost of her dog, Kirby, whom she’s trained to protect her from harm. Raising a human ghost is forbidden, as it isn’t the person who returns, but a warped version of them bent on destruction and with access to great power.

Some other magical abilities exist. Some people are descendants of fae and have abilities or access to magic based on that lineage.

Vampirism is a curse that causes bloodlust and other symptoms.

Ellie and her family consult a psychic to try to discover what really happened to her cousin. She accidentally steps into the underworld at one point and later learns how dangerous this is.

Violent Content
Brief descriptions of injuries resulting from a car accident. Situations of peril. A vampire threatens to harm people. Ellie recalls a story of a river monster who killed many. Brief descriptions of a wooly mammoth ghost stomping and goring a man to death. A woman describes a man who pulled a knife on a young girl, intending to kill her. A ghost causes mayhem and wreckage at a party, injuring people.

Drug Content
None.

Note: This post contains affiliate links, which do not cost you anything to use but help support this blog.