Tag Archives: female relationships

Review: The No Girlfriend Rule by Christen Randall

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The No-Girlfriend Rule by Christen Randall cover shows a plus-sized girl walking down a sidewalk with another short-haired girl.

The No Girlfriend Rule
Christen Randall
Atheneum Books for Young Readers
Published March 5, 2024

Amazon | Bookshop | Goodreads

About The No Girlfriend Rule

Julie Murphy meets Casey McQuiston in this unforgettable queer romance about a teen girl whose foray into fantasy tabletop roleplaying brings her new confidence, true friends, and a shot at real, swoon-worthy love.

Hollis Beckwith isn’t trying to get a girl—she’s just trying to get by. For a fat, broke girl with anxiety, the start of senior year brings enough to worry about. And besides, she already has a Chris. Their relationship isn’t particularly exciting, but it’s comfortable and familiar, and Hollis wants it to survive beyond senior year. To prove she’s a girlfriend worth keeping, Hollis decides to learn Chris’s favorite tabletop roleplaying game, Secrets & Sorcery—but his unfortunate “No Girlfriends at the Table” rule means she’ll need to find her own group if she wants in.

Gloria Castañeda and her all-girls game of S&S! Crowded at the table in Gloria’s cozy Ohio apartment, the six girls battle twisted magic in-game and become fast friends outside it. With her character as armor, Hollis starts to believe that maybe she can be more than just fat, anxious, and a little lost.

But then an in-game crush develops between Hollis’s character and the bard played by charismatic Aini Amin-Shaw, whose wide, cocky grin makes Hollis’s stomach flutter. As their gentle flirting sparks into something deeper, Hollis is no longer sure what she wants…or if she’s content to just play pretend.

My Review

I’ve read several books just this year that feature tabletop RPGs (role-playing games). I love that so many books feature characters who play games like this, and this one is up near the top of my favorites.

In order to write a story like this well, I feel like the author has to really balance drawing the reader into the scenes of what’s happening in-game but also make it clear that this is unfolding in the characters’ imaginations. Christen Randall does that so well here. The in-game scenes are immersive but without losing the experience of characters playing the game.

I really liked the way the game itself echoed some of the themes of the story in Hollis’s life. It’s the best example of an in-game versus in-story parallel that I think I’ve seen. As Hollis herself comes to a crossroads where she has to face some hard truths and take action, so does her character, Honoria Steadmore.

I also LOVED the development of the friendships between the girls and the way that spending time with them helped Hollis to become more comfortable and confident as a person. That happened so gradually and organically that I didn’t even notice it until her boyfriend pointed it out. I felt like I had the same reaction to him as Hollis did, which was really cool– definitely made what was happening feel like it made perfect sense.

All in all, I think readers hungry for more stories about people playing Dungeons and Dragons-like games (Hollis and her friends play Secrets and Sorcery) will find so much to love here. Readers looking to celebrate female relationships will also find lots to love. I think this is a debut? It’s fabulous– I wholeheartedly recommend it.

Content Notes

Recommended for Ages 12 up.

Representation
Hollis and another character are plus-sized. Two characters are Latine American and another is Asian American. Another is Black and transgender. One character is a lesbian.

Profanity/Crude Language Content
Strong profanity used infrequently.

Romance/Sexual Content
Kissing between boy and girl. Kissing between two girls. A male character in a tabletop role-playing game tries to seduce a female character via a dice roll. (It’s clear the advance is unwelcome, and what he wants is to succeed no matter her feelings if his dice roll is high enough.)

Spiritual Content
None.

Violent Content
A boy makes derisive statements about queer women in multiple scenes. Some misogynistic statements. Some cruel statements about a girl’s weight.

Drug Content
None.

Note: This post contains affiliate links, which do not cost you anything to use, but which help support this blog. I received a free copy of THE NO GIRLFRIEND RULE in exchange for my honest review. All opinions my own.

Review: Odd Girl Out by Rachel Simmons

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Odd Girl Out: The Hidden Culture of Aggression in Girls
Rachel Simmons
Mariner Books
Published August 3, 2011

Amazon | Bookshop | Goodreads

About Odd Girl Out

When ODD GIRL OUT was first published, it became an instant bestseller and ignited a long-overdue conversation about the hidden culture of female bullying. Today the dirty looks, taunting notes, and social exclusion that plague girls’ friendships have gained new momentum in cyberspace.

In this updated edition, educator and bullying expert Rachel Simmons gives girls, parents, and educators proven and innovative strategies for navigating social dynamics in person and online, as well as brand new classroom initiatives and step-by-step parental suggestions for dealing with conventional bullying. With up-to-the-minute research and real-life stories, ODD GIRL OUT continues to be the definitive resource on the most pressing social issues facing girls today.

REVISED AND UPDATED
WITH NEW MATERIAL ON CYBERBULLYING AND
HELPING GIRLS HANDLE THE DANGERS OF LIFE ONLINE

My Review

I’ve been trying to remember how long this book has been on my reading list. Probably since it came out. I’m sure I saw another blogger talking about it, but I haven’t been able to track down who it was. At any rate, I’ve had a copy of the book for years and around the end of 2022 finally got down to reading it.

I think the most startling thing about the book for me was thinking about the women I know who still behave the way she describes in the book. ODD GIRL OUT talks a lot about how girls have been socialized to avoid direct conflict. We’re taught that it’s not nice. Not feminine. Not appropriate behavior. And so instead, a culture of indirect, often cruel or opaque conflict has emerged.

It’s the silent treatment. The refusal to talk through a conflict directly, instead pretending it didn’t happen or imagining the other person can read the body language or covert signals we send about our feelings.

When I Was the Odd Girl Out

Anyway. I remember being the odd girl out in sixth grade. I wasn’t sure how it happened, since my best friend from fifth grade and I ended up in the same class. She’d been the new girl in fifth, and I think by sixth grade, she’d decided she wanted to be friends with the cool girls, and not friends with me. It was a painful, lonely year.

In tenth grade, we had a class together. We hadn’t spoken since sixth grade, but she apologized. We didn’t become friends again, but I feel very lucky that she reached out like she did. Many people don’t get that kind of… validation? Closure? Whatever it is, I remember feeling that it lifted a weight off my shoulders that I didn’t realize I still carried.

At any rate. This book. ODD GIRL OUT. I love the way Simmons carefully peels back the layers of what’s happening between girls. The book contains tons of interviews with individual girls or group discussions from the three schools she visited regularly. It’s clear that she really tried to listen to the girls and put aside her preconceived ideas.

This Book Has References for Parents

I think my favorite chapter is the one on how to talk to your child if she’s being bullied. There are suggestions for things to say and why you should or should not take certain steps. I love that this list has been compiled from her conversations with girls experiencing bullying. When I spoke with my own daughter about some of the things in the book, she agreed with the book’s assessments. I like the idea of having something of a roadmap to help you navigate having those conversations with your kids.

One thing she mentions in that chapter, too, is how important it is to take stock of your own experiences with bullying in school. That way those feelings don’t leak into the conversation or drive you to make choices that are really about what happened to you, not about what’s going on with your child. Very wise stuff.

Ophelia Project

In the book, they reference the Ophelia Project, which I wasn’t familiar with. It’s a national nonprofit organization that teaches and promotes self-worth and self-confidence in girls. I’m hoping to learn more about the project and find some ways to contribute and maybe bring the curriculum to our schools or libraries where I live.

At any rate, I think ODD GIRL OUT is a necessary read for teachers, parents, and anyone who works with kids. I think readers who enjoy books on social issues or child development will love this book.

Content Notes

Recommended for Ages 14 up.

Representation
Simmons is herself a white woman. She relates stories as told to her by girls of color and white girls.

Profanity/Crude Language Content
Extreme profanity used somewhat infrequently.

Romance/Sexual Content
References to kissing between boy and girl. Brief reference to sexual abuse– one girl interviewed is an abuse survivor.

Spiritual Content
None.

Violent Content
References to domestic violence and abuse. References to fist-fighting. Many descriptions of cruel bullying behavior, especially psychologically or emotionally abusive behavior.

Drug Content
None.

Note: This post contains affiliate links, which do not cost you anything to use, but which help support this blog.