Tag Archives: grief

Review: It Looks Like This by Rafi Mittlefehldt

Book Review and Content, Contemporary, Young Adult/Teen 12-18, , , , , ,

It Looks Like This by Rafi MittlefehldtIt Looks Like This
Rafi Mittlefehldt
Candlewick Press
Published September 6, 2016

Amazon | Barnes & Noble | Goodreads

About It Looks Like This
A new state, a new city, a new high school. Mike’s father has already found a new evangelical church for the family to attend, even if Mike and his plainspoken little sister, Toby, don’t want to go. Dad wants Mike to ditch art for sports, to toughen up, but there’s something uneasy behind his demands.

Then Mike meets Sean, the new kid, and “hey” becomes games of basketball, partnering on a French project, hanging out after school. A night at the beach. The fierce colors of sunrise. But Mike’s father is always watching. And so is Victor from school, cell phone in hand.

My Review
I devoured this book in a single sitting. The inside front flap warned me that it would be a heartbreaking read (which meant that before I started, I flipped to the back and read the last chapter, because I’m a total pansy for this stuff, and I need some warning if an author is going to make me fall head over heels for someone and then suddenly/tragically kill them off.) Spoiler: it’s a heartbreaking read. More spoiler: but it’s also got a huge amount of justice in its conclusion.

Emotionally, I feel like to call this one a roller coaster doesn’t even cover it. Someone once described my review content notes as “potential triggers” for readers, a sentiment that I really like, and reading this book made me realize I have a lot of my own triggers that don’t always make it into the list below (and don’t always need to).

I felt a connection with the kind of community where Mike lived in Virginia. It reminded me of my own small southern town, and even though my experience growing up in church felt very different than what Mike experienced, it made me revisit those days and think about the friends I had who struggled to make the same kind of spiritual connection and felt like outsiders in the midst of those services and events. I don’t think I was really sympathetic or aware of what they were experiencing, to be honest, and I hate that, but I feel like it’s important to realize it now, so I can behave differently.

Mike’s dad puts a lot of pressure on him to act in certain ways—it’s clear he’s very concerned about his son’s interests and masculinity, and Mike tries like crazy to please his dad. When his dad finds out that Mike’s been in a relationship with another boy, he sends Mike to InnerPeace, a Christian camp for teens who’ve had gay urges or experiences.

So, conversion therapy.

We see, from Mike’s point-of-view, what this is like and how much more pressure it is, how ineffective it is in terms of changing his feelings, how damaging it could be if he stayed there. Mike’s friend’s mom harshly criticizes his parents for sending Mike there and for their feelings of shame about their son.

On the one hand, the story doesn’t shy away from strong statements and some preachiness. On the other hand, it’s Mike’s internal experience which makes those moments powerful and meaningful. I also really liked the emphasis on Mike’s artistic ability and the way he used art to convey what was meaningful to him, things he struggled to put into words.

I talked about the story having a lot of justice in its conclusion. It’s not a perfect ending. Remember: heartbreak. But in other ways, things go very right. Mike’s mom, who spends much of the story being a bit of a doormat, becomes Mike’s advocate and strongly supports him. He gets good counsel from a therapist, which motivates him to challenge the people who’d been crushing him. A bully who’d been picking on Mike apologizes and seems deeply genuine.

I wish It Looks Like This didn’t have the graphic sexual content and the depiction of kids drinking alcohol that it does. I know, kids do it, even as young as Mike is (he’s fourteen for most of the story). But I find content like that narrows the audience a bit and makes it harder to recommend the story, especially to younger readers. The emotional journey is incredibly compelling, and the characters realistic and moving.

Be warned– the story doesn’t use a lot of quotation marks for dialogue. It’s a style thing, but it seemed to bother some of the other reviewers I’ve seen who posted about this book. I didn’t find it bothersome, but I know some people do.

Recommended for Ages 14 up.

Cultural Elements
Sean’s mom is black and his dad is white. Mike’s other friends are white. He describes Victor as naturally tanned. Mike and Sean are both gay.

Profanity/Crude Language Content
Extreme profanity used infrequently.

Romance/Sexual Content
Mike is keenly aware of his proximity to Sean, and doesn’t at first recognize his feelings for attraction. In one scene, Mike draws Sean, and becomes embarrassed when Sean makes a joke about how he should have posed nude. The boys swim naked in the ocean. In a couple of scenes, they kiss and touch each other. In one scene, one of Mike’s friends confesses that he looks at porn, though he believes it’s a sin and doesn’t want to do it. Later, he shows Mike a couple pages of a magazine he’s hiding in his room, showing a man and woman having sex.

Spiritual Content
Mike’s family attends church regularly. His parents seem pretty committed and like it’s a meaningful experience, though it’s hard to say whether Mike’s dad is more concerned about himself and his family having a good appearance in the church community. Mike and his sister hate going.

When Mike’s parents realize he’s gay, they send him to a Christian camp to deal with his feelings. It’s clear the goal of the camp is for Mike to come home straight. There are a couple of preachy moments where others at camp recite information or reasons against homosexual behavior. For Mike, the experience feels much less about any sort of spirituality and more about pleasing those in authority around him, the same issue he faces at home.

Violent Content
Mike and his friends play Halo together. There are some descriptions of players killing other players. A boy at school repeatedly slams his shoulder into Mike as he walks past. A man punches a teenager and drags him away. One of Mike’s friends tells Mike he punched the boy who was bullying him.

Drug Content
Sean offers Mike beer, and they drink together at his house. Later they drink some wine together. See spoilers below for other information.

Note: I received a free copy of this book in exchange for my honest review.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

SPOILER

A local boy is killed in a drunk driving accident after he drinks eight beers and gets behind the wheel of his car.

 

 

 

Review: Letters to the Lost by Brigid Kemmerer

Blogger's Favorites, Book Review and Content, Contemporary, Romance, Young Adult/Teen 12-18, , , , ,

Letters to the Lost
Brigid Kemmerer
Bloomsbury USA Children’s
Published April 4, 2017

Amazon | Barnes & Noble | Goodreads

About Letters to the Lost
Juliet Young always writes letters to her mother, a world-traveling photojournalist. Even after her mother’s death, she leaves letters at her grave. It’s the only way Juliet can cope.

Declan Murphy isn’t the sort of guy you want to cross. In the midst of his court-ordered community service at the local cemetery, he’s trying to escape the demons of his past.

When Declan reads a haunting letter left beside a grave, he can’t resist writing back. Soon, he’s opening up to a perfect stranger, and their connection is immediate. But neither Declan nor Juliet knows that they’re not actually strangers. When life at school interferes with their secret life of letters, sparks will fly as Juliet and Declan discover truths that might tear them apart.

My Review
Letters to the Lost totally blew me away. I loved it. It was all the things I loved about You’ve Got Mail but with all of these deep emotions, unresolved grief, family issues, and loneliness. I felt immediately hooked by the idea of this blind exchange between two people who both feel completely isolated from everyone around them which gives them a sense of connection. I loved the way the relationship plays out as they meet each other in real life (without knowing it’s the person they’ve been writing to.) Also, I absolutely adored Rev. He may have been my favorite. It’s hard to say because I loved so much about the story, but if I had a book boyfriend list, Rev would probably be at the top.

At its surface, I’d say this is a romance. It’s about a girl and a boy who meet through letters and fall in love, but they have to figure out who that other person is and face the idea that it may be someone they’ve judged harshly or even don’t like in real life. Beneath that, though, Letters to the Lost deals with some pretty intense grief. Juliet’s mom died in a hit and run car accident. Declan’s dad is responsible for his sister’s death. Both Juliet and Declan have difficult relationships with their parents. Declan’s mom remarried a guy who Declan can’t stand. Juliet’s dad has been distant since her mom’s death.

I loved the way the story began to unravel the truth about Juliet and Declan’s pasts. Some things took me by surprise—in a good way. Each of them have a steadfast friend who sticks with them through their grief, and I loved those friendships, too, and the way Juliet and Declan began to realize how their grief affected others through those relationships. It all felt very organic.

If you’re looking for a romance packed with emotion, you want to read this one. It’s heavy, yes, but has so much hope and love in it. This is one of my favorite books I’ve read this year.

Recommended for Ages 12 up.

Cultural Elements
Major characters are white. Juliet competes with and later befriends an Asian boy in her photography class. Black parents adopt Declan’s best friend Rev.

Profanity/Crude Language Content
Mild profanity used with moderate frequency. One instance of stronger profanity.

Romance/Sexual Content
Brief kissing. At one point one girl jokes with her friend about whether or not her boyfriend has sent a picture of his “manhood” to her.

Someone finds nude pictures of a man and woman together.

Spiritual Content
Rev is a Christian and sometimes shares Bible verses with Declan. It’s clear his faith means a great deal to him.

Violent Content
References to physical abuse in one character’s past. One character talks about a fear he has that he will become violent and be unable to stop.

Drug Content
A girl accuses a boy of trying to spike the punch at a school dance. (He’s not.)

Note: I received a free copy of this book in exchange for my honest review.

 

Review: Goodbye Days by Jeff Zentner

Book Review and Content, Contemporary, Young Adult/Teen 12-18, , , , , ,

Goodbye Days
Jeff Zentner
Crown Books for Young Readers
Published March 7, 2017

Amazon | Barnes & Noble | Goodreads

From Goodreads
One day Carver Briggs had it all—three best friends, a supportive family, and a reputation as a talented writer at his high school, Nashville Academy for the Arts.

The next day he lost it all when he sent a simple text to his friend Mars, right before Mars, Eli, and Blake were killed in a car crash.

Now Carver can’t stop blaming himself for the accident, and he’s not the only one. Eli’s twin sister is trying to freeze him out of school with her death-ray stare. And Mars’s father, a powerful judge, is pressuring the district attorney to open a criminal investigation into Carver’s actions.

Luckily, Carver has some unexpected allies: Eli’s girlfriend, the only person to stand by him at school; Dr. Mendez, his new therapist; and Blake’s grandmother, who asks Carver to spend a Goodbye Day with her to share their memories and say a proper goodbye to his friend.

Soon the other families are asking for a Goodbye Day with Carver, but he’s unsure of their motives. Will they all be able to make peace with their losses, or will these Goodbye Days bring Carver one step closer to a complete breakdown or—even worse—prison?

My Review
I was super nervous about reading this book for two reasons. One is I’ve seen so many great reviews of this book. Which is awesome! Just a little more pressure as a reviewer. I want to bring something to the table that hasn’t already been said a million times and also it can sometimes feel like pressure to really like a book that everyone else finds so moving.

I was also nervous for a really weird reason. My own manuscript features a guitarist named Eli. Okay, that’s not so weird. He’s also dating an adopted Asian girl. And he gets into a serious car accident. Believe it or not, this has kind of happened before. I read a book about two brothers, one named Eli, who get into a car accident, and just like in Goodbye Days, Eli dies. For some reason, that story hit really deep. I had a really hard time reading it, not because the story was bad, but because it snowballed into something like a crisis of confidence for me. Which was not cool. But anyway. None of that has to do with how I felt reading Goodbye Days other than to give you some background.

Goodbye Days is, more than anything else, an emotional journey. There’s not much in terms of big, intense plot. It’s a lot more subtle, gentle movement through a boy’s incredible grief when he suddenly loses all three of his best friends and faces his fear that their deaths might be his fault.

I think often grief doesn’t get enough appreciation in our instant-gratification culture. Grief is hard. It’s unpleasant, uncomfortable—not only to the person experiencing it, but to the people around them. Goodbye Days paid a worthy homage to the difficult journey of suffering and loss while still showing the value of having loved in the first place and the hope that lights the end of the dark tunnel of grief.

There were a couple of plot elements that I struggled to buy into. At one point, local police open an investigation into the accident, warning Carver that he may face charges for his friends’ deaths. I have no idea whether or not this could actually happen, but I had a really hard time going there in the story. Why wasn’t anyone blaming the kid who responded to a text message while driving? No one ever points a finger at him or talks about how he should have passed the phone to a friend to respond or something. Everyone focuses on Carver’s guilt for sending the text message to begin with.

On the other side, I loved how each of his friends had a really different artistic talent, and that they weren’t all conventional talents. One boy is a comic artist. Another is a YouTube sensation who uses videos to challenge social ideas in a humorous way.

Goodbye Days is a thoughtful, emotional story. If you liked Away We Go by Emil Ostrovski or Me Since You by Laura Weiss, you should add Goodbye Days to your list.

Recommended for Ages 14 up.

Cultural Elements
Carver’s best friend Mars is from an affluent black family. His father, a local judge, holds Mars to very high standards, and at one point talks about how difficult it is in our country for young black men. One mistake, he explains, can ruin a man’s life. Carver’s best friend Blake is gay, but hasn’t told anyone else before his death.

Profanity/Crude Language Content
Extreme profanity used liberally. Also some crude language. Blake’s videos often feature some flatulence, and there’s quite a bit of chat about them.

Romance/Sexual Content
Carver begins to have feelings for a girl and experiences some arousal. It’s brief, and pretty discreet.

Spiritual Content
One of Carver’s friend’s parents are atheists, and after their son’s death, Carver tells them that Eli wondered about the existence of God. There’s some discussion about whether that would make him a theist or agnostic. His parents seem uncomfortable with those ideas.

Violent Content
None.

Drug Content
Blake’s mother, whom he does not live with, is a drug addict. Carver learns some snippets about what his life was like when he did live with her. Carver’s sister mentions that and her friends drank vodka in her bedroom.

Note: I received a free copy of this book in exchange for my honest review.

 

Review: The Hundred Lies of Lizzie Lovett by Chelsea Sedoti

Book Review and Content, Contemporary, Young Adult/Teen 12-18, , , , ,

The Hundred Lies of Lizzie Lovett
Chelsea Sedoti
Sourcebooks
Available January 3, 2017

Amazon | Barnes & Noble | Goodreads

About The Hundred Lies of Lizzie Lovett

Hawthorn didn’t even like Lizzie Lovett, but when the girl disappears and the whole town turns upside down over it, she can’t resist getting involved. At first it’s just a pastime. But as Hawthorn’s unorthodox theory takes shape, she finds herself pulled deeper and deeper into Lizzie’s life. She gets hired at Lizzie’s old job makes friends with her understandably wrecked boyfriend, the guy half the town thinks might have killed Lizzie. As she delves deeper into the girl she never knew, Hawthorn learns how little she understands herself and her own place in the world, and understanding what happened to Lizzie becomes her own transforming journey.

My Review

Hawthorn’s voice has to be the strongest part of this story. I wasn’t immediately crazy about the voice, but the style and its consistency definitely drew me in. This is one of those stories with deeply flawed characters, and my disappointment with those that didn’t rise from the ashes of their mistakes (sorry, no spoilers) made me stop reading for a few moments to grieve. Sometimes you just want better for people—even imaginary ones!

I often struggle reading stories about really unconventional families (probably odd, since I think my family would probably fit that description to those looking in from the outside) and Hawthorn’s family was definitely a struggle. I loved her brother and his best friend.

Fans of Cori McCarthy’s You Were Here should check out The Hundred Lies of Lizzie Lovett. The emotional depth and surprising journey of grief reminded me a lot of You Were Here as did the quirkiness of the main character—though Lizzie Lovett is told only in Hawthorn’s point-of-view as opposed to the multiple perspectives in McCarthy’s novel.

Content

Recommended for Ages 17 up.

Cultural Elements
Pretty generic small-town America.

Profanity/Crude Language Content
Extreme profanity used with moderate frequency.

Romance/Sexual Content
Hawthorn reveals the source of her name—her parents conceived her under a hawthorn tree. Later she kisses and has sex with her boyfriend—an experience which leaves her with mixed feelings. She didn’t expect the awkwardness. She wonders about Lizzie’s experience with sex and asks some general questions of Lizzie’s boyfriend. He tells Hawthorn that Lizzie liked sex a lot.

Spiritual Content
Hawthorn explores some unconventional ideas about Lizzie’s disappearance. For instance, could she have transformed into another creature? A group of hippies begins camping in Hawthorn’s backyard, and their leader gives Hawthorn some advice about finding her true name and ways to view life according to his ways.

Hawthorn’s mother told her to be careful what she wished for, especially in terms of wishing ill on others. So when Hawthorn wishes ill on someone, she wishes things that are more often comical or inconvenient, such as wishing that whenever a rival microwaved a frozen burrito, the center would stay cold.

Violent Content
A girl at school makes Hawthorn miserable. She never physically bullies her, but her behavior is emotionally bullying and mean. See spoiler alert below for additional violent content.

Drug Content
Hawthorn goes to a party where teens are drinking. She also gets drunk and sick. At one point her brother comes home drunk and sick. The hippies (and Hawthorn’s mother) smoke pot in the backyard. Lizzie comments that if her mom is smoking pot, she can’t very well condemn her underage drinking.

Note: I received a free copy of this book in exchange for my honest review.

Additional violent content – SPOILER WARNING
Searchers find Lizzie’s body eventually. She died by suicide after hanging herself.

Review: For This Life Only by Stacey Kade

Book Review and Content, Contemporary, Young Adult/Teen 12-18, , , , , ,

For This Life Only
Stacey Kade
Simon & Schuster Books for Young Readers

Amazon | Barnes & Noble | Goodreads

A bonfire he had to escape. Ice on a roadway. A night that changes everything for Jacob Palmer. The night his twin brother is killed in a car accident. Jace almost shared his brother’s fate, and in that moment when his heart stopped, there was no light welcoming him to something after. There was only nothing. And now that Jace has survived, he can’t help feeling like fate got it wrong. Eli, the good son, the one who loved everyone around him, the one who made people feel loved, should have been the one to live.

As Jace wrestles with his guilt and the injuries that make his dream of a baseball scholarship an impossibility, his family fractures further. Jace has questions. The kinds of questions a pastor’s kid isn’t supposed to ask. Then he meets Thera and he discovers that perhaps a notorious psychic’s daughter and a prominent pastor’s son have more in common than he could have imagined. But when he stumbles onto Eli’s unfinished business and a dilemma that could destroy his father’s church, Jace realizes he’s facing more than his own questions of faith, but questions of who he is and what it means to do the right thing regardless of who it might hurt.

One of the things I really liked about this book is that it brings faith into the story in a non-preachy way. This isn’t about Jace’s spiritual journey in terms of having a salvation experience or ultimately answering life’s big questions. It’s really only the beginning of that journey in which he begins to take ownership of what he believes.

I liked the genuine conversations that Jace and Thera share. Their relationship definitely felt like one of those life-changing ones, where each person gets to feel seen and truly understood. I liked that Jace’s relationship with his dad is something he continues to wrestle with. That also felt very real, and it was easy to understand how hurtful and frustrating some things between them were. Though this wasn’t my experience as someone raised in a church, I felt like I could see people that I knew in the faces of characters in this story. It definitely captured some of the hallmark fails of church service and politics.

What’s sad in a way is that there isn’t really anyone on the other side whose faith is genuine, who has come through the fire of asking these big questions. I would have liked even a minor character just to kind of nod to the fact that this happens. But it really wasn’t the point of the story, so I can see why the author may have chosen not to show that point-of-view. Jace’s brother is kind of the closest example we have of that, but he’s absent for so much of the story. Overall, I really liked this book. It was a tough read because of how sad the beginning was, but I definitely enjoyed reading it overall.

Cultural Elements
The central characters felt pretty white middle class to me. Thera may be Greek. Her mother is obese. At one point she talks about what that means to her and how that affects the way people see her and the choices she makes.

Profanity/Crude Language Content
Extreme profanity used with moderate frequency.

Romance/Sexual Content
Kissing and petting between a boy and girl.

Spiritual Content
Jacob wrestles with questions about faith and what happens after death after a life-changing car accident. Though he’s a pastor’s son, he mostly identifies spirituality with rules and pressure to perform a certain way. He discovers that the local psychic’s daughter also feels trapped by the expectations people have about who she is and what she believes. They share a relationship where they allow themselves to question things.

At one point as he’s beginning to question things, Jacob makes a comment about there not being stories in the Bible about people making active choices about what they believe. I find I disagree. It was a minor point not really central to the story, though.

Overall, this is not a story about who’s right or wrong in terms of faith vs psychic energy vs science. There’s some limited exploration of what a life committed to those principles looks like, but the story isn’t really about finding or losing faith. It’s more about appearances and assumptions and finding the courage to live honestly despite what it may do to the expectations others have.

Violent Content
Jacob sustains some serious injuries from a car accident. Not many details of the accident itself. Two boys get into a fist-fight.

Drug Content
Jacob drinks alcohol at a party with his friends.

Note: I received a free copy of this book in exchange for my honest review.

Save

Review: First & Then by Emma Mills

Book Review and Content, Contemporary, Romance, Young Adult/Teen 12-18, , , , , ,

First & Then
Emma Mills
Henry Holt & Co.

Amazon | Barnes & Noble | Goodreads

With college application deadlines fast-approaching, Devon is under pressure to be her most extraordinary self. The problem? How would Jane Austen say this? She’s remarkably uninteresting. Devon has never minded the sidelines. Especially when her best friend Cas and secret love takes the football field. When her socially awkward cousin Foster moves in with Devon’s family, his presence changes everything, bringing the local unapproachable football star, Ezra, into Devon’s path. Like, almost constantly. Ezra’s new closeness seems to stir some jealous feelings in Cas, and at first Devon thinks this might be the moment in which he discovers his deep love for her. But as she gets to know Ezra better, she starts to wonder if it really is Cas she wants.

I have to be honest. If you had asked me if I’d like to read a book equal parts football and Jane Austen, I would have looked at you as if you’d just asked whether I’d like ice cream on my nachos. Um, what? No. Just no.

But.

I think this really worked. It had a lot more profanity than I was expecting and felt was necessary, but I did enjoy the way Devon kept this inner monologue of Jane Austen describing her modern life. I liked that it celebrated Austen without making the story a straight-up retelling of a familiar tale or something like that. I also enjoyed Foster’s rambling monologues and totally inappropriate questions. I laughed out loud at some moments.

As far as the plot goes, there were definitely some unexpected twists and turns. I liked that, in keeping with true Austen tradition, this isn’t a story with explicit sex. Devon’s on a quest for love, and while she recognizes that sex is out there, she’s not eager for it for its own sake.

Profanity/Crude Language Content
Extreme profanity used frequently.

Romance/Sexual Content
One of Devon’s high school friends is pregnant. There’s not much discussion about who she’s been involved with or anything like that. Devon laments her lack of sexual experience. As a senior in high school, she’s never even been kissed, and she hasn’t dated since eighth grade. There are a couple of scenes in which kids are described as making out or kissing. Devon knows that some of her friends are sexually active, but they don’t talk about it explicitly.

Spiritual Content
None.

Violent Content
Devon’s cousin joins the football team, and she witnesses some practices and games. One player is tackled and suffers a concussion. He is rushed to the hospital. One boy shoves another boy’s head under water repeatedly in a swimming pool. It’s clearly a threat and not a joke.

Drug Content
Devon attends parties where teens are drinking alcohol. She doesn’t enjoy the parties and often doesn’t stay late. Her cousin and another friend each throw parties without any alcohol which are still well-attended, though some guests show up drunk already or plan to leave for other parties in order to get drunk.

Note: I received a free copy of this book in exchange for my honest review.

 

Save

Save

Save

Save