Category Archives: Nonfiction

Review: Your Place or Mine? by Charlotte Schwartz

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Your Place or Mine by Charlotte Schwartz

Your Place or Mine?: Practical Advice for Developing a Co-Parenting Strategy After Separating
Charlotte Schwartz
Dundurn Press
Published September 27, 2022

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About Your Place or Mine?

Navigate the challenges of co-parenting with practical advice and legal tips.

So you did it. You separated. And now the kids that you always planned to raise together are being raised apart. Most people don’t start a family expecting not to see their children every day, and yet roughly half of us end up in that scenario. From there, it’s a Choose-Your-Own-Adventure — and there are many choices you can make.

Your Place or Mine? is a detailed resource for separating parents. It will help you navigate the legal system, including negotiating a settlement, mediation, and litigation, and explains the nuances of different paths to dispute resolution. It also provides specific advice about what to include in a compassionate separation agreement, such as specifying how far parents can live from each other, where transitions take place, how to handle kids’ belongings, communication, future disputes, and introducing your child to a new partner.

Schwartz introduces you to several families (including her own) with separated parents, as well as adults who were raised by co-parents, and offers their insights. She also provides accessible advice from psychologists on kids’ mental health, as well as tips from family law lawyers, who share anecdotes about the world of co-parenting.

My Review

Why I read this book

First of all, I should reassure my friends and family who follow my blog that I didn’t request a review copy of this book because I’m thinking of separating or getting divorced. Ha! That’s not on the horizon for me.

The reason I wanted to read this book was more for the focus on how to co-parent through separation and divorce, since I have a child with a partner I’m no longer married to. Which means I am one of the masses of parents who navigate co-parenting on a daily basis.

I wanted to read this book to see if there are things I can add to my toolbox so to speak. Techniques I’d never used or questions I should consider.

What’s in the book

At any rate, I’d say about 50-60% of the book is more a walk-through of what separation and divorce entail from a legal perspective. What is the process? What does it look like? Are there advantages to pursuing mediation versus going to court?

There were some great notes on finding support and good legal representation, too. She talked about the importance of a good support system and what that looks like through a divorce process. She also discussed questions to ask your legal representative and questions they should be asking you. How do you know they’re doing a good job? That kind of thing.

Additionally, she briefly explained of the evolution of family law in terms of what used to be the standard approach (Mom’s care and custody of children used to be the priority) versus the approach now (it’s recognized that children do the best when both parents are involved in their lives, so courts will not prioritize one parent’s care over the other unless abuse has been proven.).

Who is the legal advice most relevant to?

It’s worth noting that she lives and works in Ontario, Canada, so the legal advice is most relevant to readers living there, but I am familiar with some of the things she discussed from my own experience in the US. So some things are pretty broadly accepted.

I think a book like this would have been really helpful while I was going through a separation/divorce before. I had no idea what to expect, and didn’t really have anyone close to me I could ask advice from. Separating is a huge, stressful experience, especially when you have a child who’s experiencing the grief and disruption of that separation on top of trying to work through your own emotions and navigate issues with your former partner.

So yeah, I think I would have gotten a lot out of a straightforward book like this.

Navigating changes in the relationship between yourself and your partner

There was a fair amount of advice on navigating the relationship between yourself and your ex. I liked her advice and the advice from clients that she shared as well. It basically boils down to considering the needs of the children first and foremost and treating the other person like they are a good parent even if they weren’t a good partner to you. I thought those were both really great point, even if hard to put into practice sometimes.

All in all, I think this is a really practical, gentle guide for people going through separation from a partner with whom they have one or more children. It’s pretty comprehensive and helps make what is a very overwhelming process feel more orderly. With the book, not only is there a light at the end of the tunnel, she tells you what the tunnel looks like and where some of the tricky twists and turns are likely to be.

I highly recommend this book for people in the process of getting separated and/or divorced.

Content Notes

Recommended for Ages 18 up.

Representation
Written by a white, middle class woman. She practices family law in Canada and is divorced herself and a child of divorced parents. She includes testimonies from marginalized clients, including BIPOC and LGBTQ2S partners.

Profanity/Crude Language Content
Extreme profanity used very infrequently.

Romance/Sexual Content
None.

Spiritual Content
References to the importance of faith community as a part of your chosen support network if you desire.

Violent Content
None.

Drug Content
None.

Note: This post contains affiliate links, which do not cost you anything to use, but which help support this blog. I received a free copy of YOUR PLACE OR MINE in exchange for my honest review.

Review: The Antiracist Kid by Tiffany Jewell

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The Antiracist Kid: A Book About Identity, Justice, and Activism
Tiffany Jewell
Versify
Published October 4, 2022

Amazon | Bookshop | Goodreads

About The Antiracist Kid: A Book About Identity, Justice, and Activism

From the #1 New York Times best-selling author of THIS BOOK IS ANTI-RACIST, Tiffany Jewell, with art by Eisner-nominated illustrator Nicole Miles, THE ANTIRACIST KID is the essential illustrated chapter book guide to antiracism for empowering the young readers in your life!

What is racism? What is antiracism? Why are both important to learn about? In this book, systemic racism and the antiracist tools to fight it are easily accessible to the youngest readers.

In three sections, this must-have guide explains:

– Identity: What it is and how it applies to you
– Justice: What it is, what racism has to do with it, and how to address injustice
– Activism: A how-to with resources to be the best antiracist kid you can be

This book teaches younger children the words, language, and methods to recognize racism and injustice—and what to do when they encounter it at home, at school, and in the media they watch, play, and read.

My Review

I liked the way this book is divided into sections. Each section spends some time defining terms, which builds a great foundation for conversations about diversity, racism and prejudice. We communicate best when we agree on what terms mean and how they’re used. So I like that the book is careful to establish important terms at the beginning of each section.

I also like that the book gives specific examples showing social situations that might involve prejudice or racism. Even though the title specifically labels the book to be about antiracism, the book actually addresses other identities in which people could face persecution or prejudice.

The book also gives a brief timeline of how and when the construct of race emerged and how it has impacted our culture. I think that overview timeline is particularly well done. It’s succinct but identifies critical moments in history in a way that’s easy for kids to understand.

All in all, I think THE ANTIRACIST KID would make a great foundational book to both define different terms in the conversation about race and diversity as well as inviting kids into the discussion. I read and enjoyed THIS BOOK IS ANTI-RACIST by Tiffany Jewell, which is for slightly older readers, but has the same straightforward, open, conversational style. I recommend both.

Content Notes

Recommended for Ages 8 to 12.

Representation
The book uses examples about three kids: Shawn who is Black and has two moms, Dani who is nonbinary and Puerto Rican, and Ruby who is biracial.

Profanity/Crude Language Content
None.

Romance/Sexual Content
None.

Spiritual Content
Reference to holidays such as Christmas and Easter.

Violent Content
None.

Drug Content
None.

Note: This post contains affiliate links, which do not cost you anything to use, but which help support this blog. I received a free copy of THE ANTIRACIST KID in exchange for my honest review.

Review: Restore My Soul by Laura L. Smith

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Restore My Soul: the Power and Purpose of 30 Psalms
Laura L. Smith
Our Daily Bread Publishing
Published July 5, 2022

Amazon | Bookshop | Goodreads

About Restore My Soul

The book of Psalms is full of wonderful passages that illuminate the intimate connection we get to have with our Father. Despite the chaos of our busy lives, the Father is frequently whispering to our souls to spend time with Him. Dive into the power of the Psalms and be inspired to praise God as you read RESTORE MY SOUL: THE POWER AND PROMISE OF 30 PSALMS.

In each chapter, a Psalm is accompanied by personal stories that help to illustrate and explore the verses and what they mean in our day to day lives. Practical instruction, insightful questions and journal prompts accompany each chapter.

My Review

If you’ve followed my blog for a long time, Laura L. Smith‘s name probably looks familiar to you. I’ve reviewed some of her teen novels. Last year I also reviewed her book HOW SWEET THE SOUND, a book which focuses on thirty hymns and God’s promises and comfort in them. This book might be considered something of a companion to that one. I loved HOW SWEET THE SOUND, and I definitely felt like I connected with a lot of the ideas in the book. So when I had the opportunity to read and review this book, I jumped at it.

I feel like one of the amazing strengths in this book is that it both lifts up spiritual ideas and gets pretty real about how hard life is and how heartbreaking it can be. I found myself nodding along with lots of the examples and questions the author asks or relates that she asked herself as she reads these Psalms, watches the news, or faces tough moments in her day.

Which, honestly, is why I love her books. They’ve all been like that for me!

Each of these thirty chapters contains some pretty real examples of hardship. But each one also encourages and reminds us of the truths in Christian faith. The chapters end with a brief section titled “Restore” which asks a couple questions or provides a journal prompt so readers can further soak in the ideas from the chapter.

I love how community-aware the book is, too. The author talks about her strategy for consuming the news– balancing the importance of staying informed with our mental health and stress relief needs. I loved that bit of practical, step-by-step advice. I also love that she lives a life connected to her community, which is something I’m not great at, but want to do better.

Just like her book on powerful hymns, RESTORE MY SOUL found me at the perfect moment. I’m super glad I read it, and I already want to give copies to a couple people in my life who I think would love this book.

Content Notes

Recommended for Ages 12 up.

Representation
The author shares stories about her Christian faith and (white middle-class) family.

Profanity/Crude Language Content
None.

Romance/Sexual Content
References to the author’s marriage.

Spiritual Content
The book focuses on thirty Psalms from the Bible, what key verses mean, and how to apply them to life in a way that deepens faith, hope, and peace.

Violent Content
Reference to a car accident, possible home intruder, and attendance at a social justice protest.

Drug Content
None.

Note: This post contains affiliate links, which do not cost you anything to use, but which help support this blog. I received a free copy of RESTORE MY SOUL in exchange for my honest review.

Review: Funny Gyal by Angeline Jackson and Susan McClelland

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Funny Gyal: My Fight Against Homophobia in Jamaica
Angeline Jackson and Susan McClelland
Dundurn Press
Published June 7, 2022

Amazon | Bookshop | Goodreads

About Funny Gyal

“Instead of remaining silent, she chose to speak out…that’s the power of one person.” — Barack Obama

The inspiring story of Angeline Jackson, who stood up to Jamaica’s oppression of queer youth to demand recognition and justice.

When Angeline Jackson was a child, she wondered if there was something wrong with her for wanting to kiss the other girls. But as her sexuality blossomed in her teens, she knew she wouldn’t “grow out of it” and that her attraction to girls wasn’t against God. In fact, she discovered that same-sex relationships were depicted in the Bible, which she read devoutly, even if the tight-knit evangelical Christian community she grew up in believed any sexual relationship outside of marriage between a man and woman was a sin, and her society, Jamaica, criminalized homosexual sex.

Angeline’s story begins with her traumatic experience of “corrective rape” when she is lured by an online predator, then traces her childhood through her sexual and spiritual awakening as a teen — falling in love, breaking up, coming out, and then being forced into conversion therapy.

Sometimes dark, always threadbare and honest, FUNNY GYAL chronicles how Angeline’s faith deepens as a teenager, despite her parents’ conservative values and the strict Christian Jamaican society in which she lives, giving her the courage to challenge gender violence, rape culture, and oppression.

My Review

This book blew me away. I kind of expected that, to be honest. I was interested in reading more about Angeline Jackson for her activism and her experiences, but I’ve also read EVERY FALLING STAR by Sunju Lee and Susan McClelland. It’s been years since I read that book, but I still think about it, so I had high expectations for another memoir with Susan McClelland assisting in putting it together.

FUNNY GYAL drew me in from its early pages and didn’t let me go until the end of the book. I loved reading a queer, faith-positive story that continually challenged the idea that a person much choose between different aspects of who they are: faith or identity. Over and over Angeline Jackson returns to the idea that she can be, and is, both a person of faith and a lesbian, and that those two ideas aren’t in competition with one another.

I won’t lie– some parts of the book are hard to read. She describes some encounters with homophobic people. She also describes the trauma of rape, and the fears and doubts about the police taking the case seriously. Through her shared experiences, though, she reveals how the prejudices against LGBTQIA people leave them vulnerable as victims of violent crime. She shows incredible resilience and love, not only for herself, but for her country and her people.

She speaks frankly about the continual pain that it causes her for her family to choose a “love the sinner, hate the sin” kind of relationship with her. And how that makes her feel as though she can never fully be herself with them.

All in all, FUNNY GYAL is a rich, bold and vulnerable memoir about courage and resilience and finding your people. I loved this book. If you’re still looking for a good memoir to add to your Pride TBR this month, definitely check out this book!

Content Notes

Content warning for rape, homophobia, and abuse.

Recommended for Ages 16 up.

Representation
Angeline and her family are Jamaican. Angeline is a lesbian.

Profanity/Crude Language Content
Extreme profanity used infrequently.

Romance/Sexual Content
Two men rape Angeline and her friend at gunpoint. The event itself isn’t graphically described, but her trauma is.

Two girls kissing. Mentions of sex between two girls. Mention of oral sex between a boy and girl. At one point, Angeline (a teenager) enters into a sexual relationship with an adult who has had a position of authority over her.

Spiritual Content
Angeline is raised in a devout Christian home and church where she’s taught that same sex attraction or relationships are a sin. She points out that other Christian churches believe differently, and some are LGBTQ+ affirming. Angeline herself remains a Christian.

Violent Content
See sexual content. At times people say homophobic things to Angeline or others.

Drug Content
References to drinking alcohol. Reference to drugs slipped into a person’s drink. Angeline also attends a party and drinks alcohol.

Note: This post contains affiliate links, which do not cost you anything to use, but which help support this blog. I received a free copy of FUNNY GYAL in exchange for my honest review.

Review: The Gifts of Imperfection by Brené Brown

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The Gifts of Imperfection
Brené Brown
Hazelden Publishing
Published August 27, 2010

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About The Gifts of Imperfection

A motivational and inspiring guide to wholehearted living, rather than just the average self-help book, with this groundbreaking work Brené Brown, Ph.D., bolsters the self-esteem and personal development process through her characteristic heartfelt, honest storytelling. With original research and plenty of encouragement, she explores the psychology of releasing our definitions of an “imperfect” life and embracing living authentically. Brown’s “ten guideposts” are benchmarks for authenticity that can help anyone establish a practice for a life of honest beauty—a perfectly imperfect life.

Now more than ever, we all need to cultivate feelings of self-worth, as well as acceptance and love for ourselves. In a world where insults, criticisms, and fears are spread too generously alongside messages of unrealistic beauty, attainment, and expectation, we look for ways to “dig deep” and find truth and gratitude in our lives. A new way forward means we can’t hold on too tightly to our own self-defeating thoughts or the displaced pain in our world. Instead, we can embrace the imperfection.

When our embarrassments and fears lie, we often listen to them anyway. They thwart our gratitude, acceptance, and compassion—our goodness. They insist, “I am not worthy.” But we are worthy—of self-discovery, personal growth, and boundless love. With Brené Brown’s game-changing New York Times bestseller The Gifts of Imperfection—which has sold more than 2 million copies in more than 30 different languages, and Forbes recently named one of the “Five Books That Will Actually Change Your Outlook On Life”—we find courage to overcome paralyzing fear and self-consciousness, strengthening our connection to the world.

My Review

Okay, so I listened to DARING GREATLY multiple times because it was too good to read just once. I wanted to hear it all from the beginning a second time (and a third time) once I kind of had the whole in my head already. And I’m super glad I did that.

I will do that same thing with GIFTS OF IMPERFECTION, but I’m writing the review between my first and second times reading it. (Mostly because I’ve been swamped and am way behind where I want to be with my reading and review calendar. Also because the publication dates on books keep getting pushed back, leaving me with weird, unexpected gaps in my calendar. It’s stressful, y’all!)

At any rate. So. This book. First, I want to say that I had this playing on my Audible account while wrapping Christmas gifts, and my daughter listened to it with me briefly. That led to some really great conversations. I hope we can listen to more of the book together at some point.

So I loved that DARING GREATLY gave this deep dive into what vulnerability is and why it’s so critical to be able to experience it in a healthy way in order to have healthy relationships and connections in your life. GIFTS OF IMPERFECTION is similar, but it focuses a lot more on perfectionism. The book examines our tendencies to overcommit or fill our lives to the seams with events and stuff and busyness.

And HOW not to do that. WHY not to do that.

I need this book in my life. Because I so do that. Everything must have a purpose, be structured, have some sort of benefit or gain. I forget sometimes that there is real value in just wasting time on something you love for no other reason than you love it. For me the biggest black hole of this kind of unstructured time is social. I end up feeling guilty later if it took me a long time to get something done. This is especially true if in addition to working on the tasks, I was chitchatting with someone.

I feel like I’m still learning to rewire myself to consider that time valuable and productive. And to try to listen to my heart or my body or my spirit and respond when I really genuinely need that rest time or unstructured, unproductive time.

At any rate, this book was a pretty key read for me in this season of my life. I’m super glad that I read it. I noticed that Brown has a new book out recently called ATLAS OF THE HEART. So, that one is now on my reading list!

If you’re looking for a book that kind of helps you quantify why being super busy feels like it’s not sustainable or not working, or you just feel like it’s time to rebalance priorities in your life and make more time for what matters, this is a GREAT book to read. I highly recommend it.

Content Notes on The Gifts of Imperfection

Recommended for Ages 14 up.

Representation
Relates stories and data based on a broad range of research.

Profanity/Crude Language Content
Strong profanity used infrequently.

Romance/Sexual Content
Some brief mentions of sex from the perspective of the way that asking for sex or participating in it means experiencing vulnerability. .

Spiritual Content
Mentions going to church.

Violent Content
Vague mentions of abuse situations.

Drug Content
Mentions of drinking alcohol and smoking as a poor coping strategy for vulnerability. She also discusses the connection between shame and addiction.

Note: This post contains affiliate links, which do not cost you anything to use, but which help support this blog.

Review: Pirate Queens by Leigh Lewis

Biography, Book Review and Content, Historical, Middle Grade 8-12, Nonfiction, , , , ,

Pirate Queens
Leigh Lewis
Illustrated by
National Geographic Kids
Published January 11, 2022

Amazon | Bookshop | Goodreads

About Pirate Queens

This wow-worthy book proves that women have been making their mark in all aspects of history―even the high seas!

Meet Ching Shih, a Chinese pirate who presided over a fleet of 80,000 men (by contrast, Blackbeard had some 300). Get the scoop on Anne Bonny who famously ran away from an arranged marriage to don trousers and brandish a pistol in the Bahamas. And there are more!

Each pirate profile includes a dramatic original poem presented against a backdrop of gorgeous full-color art by award-winning illustrator Sara Gómez Woolley. Each profile is followed by fascinating information about the real life and times of these daring (and dangerous!) women.

Vetted by the world’s leading pirate experts and historians, this book is a cool and edgy gift. It’s also perfect for any curious kid who dreams of adventure and for parents who are eager to show their tweens and teens that history is more diverse, daring, and surprising than what is typically found in textbooks.

My Review

What a cool idea for a book! I had no idea there were female pirate captains, much less that there were so many or that one commanded 80,000 pirates. Wowza.

I like that the author included a note at the beginning of the book talking about why she wrote the book. Basically, her daughters were playing a game and she discovered that they were all thinking of pirates as only men. She wondered if there were female pirates, and from there, the book was born. I also like that she clarifies that this book isn’t to glorify the piracy or romanticize what is a violent life. It’s about bringing to light stories of powerful women who history may have otherwise forgotten.

The book is divided up into six biographies: Artemisia of Caria, Sela, Sayyida al Hurra, Grace O’Malley, Anne Bonny, and Ching Shih. Each biography features a poem telling the story of a critical moment in the pirate captain’s life followed by historical information. I learned a lot of things, and I’m really excited to have read this book.

I think PIRATE QUEENS would make a great addition to a library or classroom, and it’s a great nonfiction book for readers who love seafaring adventures.

Content Notes

Recommended for Ages 8 to 12.

Representation
Details the lives of six pirate queens. One is Chinese. One is Muslim and Moroccan.

Profanity/Crude Language Content
None.

Romance/Sexual Content
Reference to marriages.

Spiritual Content
Sayyida al Hurra was a Muslim who grew up in Spain when its rulers forced Muslims out of their homes. As a pirate, she specifically sought out Christian vessels as revenge for how she and her people were treated.

Violent Content
References to battles and stealing/looting. References to execution.

Drug Content
None.

Note: This post contains affiliate links, which do not cost you anything to use, but which help support this blog. I received a free copy of PIRATE QUEENS in exchange for my honest review.