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Review: Arden Grey by Ray Stoeve

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Arden Grey by Ray Stoeve

Arden Grey
Ray Stoeve
Amulet Books
Published April 26, 2022

Amazon | Bookshop | Goodreads

About Arden Grey

Sixteen-year-old Arden Grey is struggling. Her mother has left their family, her father and her younger brother won’t talk about it, and a classmate, Tanner, keeps harassing her about her sexuality—which isn’t even public. (She knows she likes girls romantically, but she thinks she might be asexual.) At least she’s got her love of film photography and her best and only friend, Jamie, to help her cope.

Then Jamie, who is trans, starts dating Caroline, and suddenly he isn’t so reliable. Arden’s insecurity about their friendship grows. She starts to wonder if she’s jealous or if Jamie’s relationship with Caroline is somehow unhealthy—and it makes her reconsider how much of her relationship with her absent mom wasn’t okay, too.

My Review

This was kind of a last-minute pick for me, but ARDEN GREY seemed like a book that I didn’t want to miss. I’ve read a few other books with photographer narrators– TELL ME EVERYTHING by Sarah Enni and BREATHING UNDERWATER by Sarah Allen are the two I remember off the top of my head– and I’ve enjoyed all of them. And complex family relationships are another pretty sure-fire win for me in a book.

I guess all that to say that I had pretty high expectations when I went into Arden Grey, and the author absolutely delivered on them. Arden’s shyness and small social circle, her struggle to connect with others, definitely resonated with me. I felt like she was on a clear emotional journey, and I wanted to be there for every minute of it.

As she finds new friends and the confidence to share her photography with others, she’s also grieving a lot of changes in her family and personal life. Her relationship with Jamie really struck me. Knowing someone you love is in a bad situation, but won’t leave it is truly heartbreaking, and the pages of ARDEN GREY really capture both the grief over the loss of friendship, the fears and worries that something is deeply wrong, and the helplessness that comes from being a bystander that’s shut out for trying to speak the truth.

Arden also faces huge changes in her family. Her parents have separated, and her brother isn’t doing well. She can’t figure out how to reconnect with him or her dad. Then Arden’s brother opens up to her, breaking open a family secret and asking Arden to accept it. Arden reels. She struggles. She grieves even more. But she also learns. Listens. Tries new things. Tries to find ways to heal. She’s a hero. I love her.

Most of the abusive relationships or situations happen off-scene or are briefly recounted in memory. I think this helps keep the story from centering on an abuser. It also means we must trust Arden, her brother, and Jamie for their descriptions of what happened and how it made them feel. This resonated with me, too, because that’s very often the position friends or family members are in, where we’re trying to understand what happened and what it means.

On the whole, yeah, I loved this book for its deep, wrenching emotional journey through difficult relationships and facing abuse. The author shares some great resources in a note at the back of the book, which I will post here, too.

Power and Control Wheel

I’d never heard of this, but when Arden’s brother brings it up as something he learned about in health class, I searched online to see if it was a real thing– and it is! I wish I’d known about this a lot sooner than now, but I will definitely be sharing it with others. Basically, it’s a graphic that describes different behaviors and how they fit into a cycle of abuse.

National Domestic Violence Hotline

What is a Healthy Relationship? – from the Domestic Violence Hotline website

Content Notes

Recommended for Ages 12 up.

Representation
Arden is asexual and a lesbian. Jamie is a trans boy. Vanessa, a minor character, is Latina. Marc, another minor character, is also asexual and Black.

Profanity/Crude Language Content
Extreme profanity used somewhat frequently.

Romance/Sexual Content
Kissing between a boy and girl. Reference to sex between Jamie and his girlfriend. Arden holds hands with someone.

Spiritual Content
None.

Violent Content – Content warning for abuse and mentions of self-harm.
Arden hears her mother slap her brother.

Arden begins to recognize signs of abuse in her relationship with her (now absent) mom and in Jamie’s relationship with his girlfriend. Most of the abusive behavior happens off-scene and is either summarized or reported on later. One person uses self-harm and threats of self-harm to try to control another’s behavior.

Drug Content
Arden’s younger brother comes home late and drunk several times. Arden drinks a beer with her friends at a party.

Note: This post contains affiliate links, which do not cost you anything to use, but which help support this blog. I received a free copy of this book in exchange for my honest review.

Review: Tonight We Rule the World by Zack Smedley

Book Review and Content, Contemporary, Young Adult/Teen 12-18, , , , , ,

Tonight We Rule the World
Zack Smedley
Page Street Kids
Published October 12, 2021

Amazon | Bookshop | Goodreads

About Tonight We Rule the World

In the beginning, Owen’s story was blank . . . then he was befriended by Lily, the aspiring author who helped him find his voice. Together, the two have spent years navigating first love and amassing an inseparable friend group. But all of it is upended one day when his school’s administration learns Owen’s secret: that he was sexually assaulted by a classmate.

In the ensuing investigation, everyone scrambles to hold their worlds together.

Owen, still wrestling with his self-destructive thoughts and choices.

His father, a mission-driven military vet ready to start a war to find his son’s attacker.

The school bureaucrats, who seem most concerned with kowtowing to the local media attention.

And Lily, who can’t learn that Owen is the mystery victim everyone is talking about . . . because once she does, it will set off a chain of events that will change their lives forever.

Heartbreaking and hopeful, this is a coming-of-age story that explores how we rebuild after the world comes crumbling down.

My Review

First, there are a lot of things about this book that I really liked. I felt like Owen’s character was really real and gripping. I loved the way the friendships with his group developed and especially the scene on the beach with them. So many of those moments felt exactly the way I remember my high school friendships feeling, so reading them was super nostalgic for me.

I also thought it was interesting that on one side, Owen had his dad and his family’s struggles with his dad’s PTSD and how to respond to it. Then on the other side, there’s Owen with a relationship that spirals into abuse. It highlighted how complex relationships can be– how there can be good elements tangled in with toxic or abusive ones and how difficult that can be to sort out.

It was also really weird for me as a reader because as I read some of the conversations between Owen and his abuser and Owen’s thoughts as he scrambled to stay ahead of the gaslighting and manipulation, I realized I’d been in those same conversations before, in Owen’s shoes. So that was both validating but also kind of ripping open a past wound I wasn’t prepared for? I think it was good, but I just didn’t expect to experience that.

I guess all of that together makes this book one of those to approach with attention to triggers. The story raised some really good points about toxic and abusive relationships and consent. It also explores some gender stereotypes in a way that may expose some prejudices or expectations we may not realize we have. I know it did that for me.

I think readers who like dark, issue-driven stories with memorable characters will want to check out TONIGHT WE RULE THE WORLD. I’d recommend it to fans of Courtney Summers or Lauren Oliver.

Content Notes

Recommended for Ages 16 up.

Representation
Owen is diagnosed with ASD and is bisexual. His dad is a Marines veteran with PTSD.

Profanity/Crude Language Content
Extreme profanity used somewhat frequently.

Romance/Sexual Content – Trigger warning for rape.
Several references to masturbation. Kissing between boy and girl, making out. One scene showing rape.

Spiritual Content
None.

Violent Content
One scene showing rape. Several scenes show some gaslighting and manipulation. This escalates to physical violence on multiple occasions. Owen recalls a memory in which he woke his dad up in the middle of the night and his dad hit him due to his PTSD.

Drug Content
Some references to teens smoking pot and drinking alcohol.

Note: This post contains affiliate links, which do not cost you anything to use, but which help support this blog. I received a free copy of TONIGHT WE RULE THE WORLD in exchange for my honest review.

Review: If You Find Me by Emily Murdoch

Book Review and Content, Contemporary, Young Adult/Teen 12-18, , , , , , , ,

If You Find Me
Emily Murdoch
St. Martin’s Griffin
Published March 26, 2013

Amazon | Bookshop | Goodreads

About If You Find Me

A broken-down camper hidden deep in a national forest is the only home fifteen year-old Carey can remember. The trees keep guard over her threadbare existence, with the one bright spot being Carey’s younger sister, Jenessa, who depends on Carey for her very survival. All they have is each other, as their mentally ill mother comes and goes with greater frequency. Until that one fateful day their mother disappears for good, and two strangers arrive. Suddenly, the girls are taken from the woods and thrust into a bright and perplexing new world of high school, clothes and boys.

Now, Carey must face the truth of why her mother abducted her ten years ago, while haunted by a past that won’t let her go… a dark past that hides many a secret, including the reason Jenessa hasn’t spoken a word in over a year. Carey knows she must keep her sister close, and her secrets even closer, or risk watching her new life come crashing down.

My Review

In retrospect, reading this book was probably not the best idea for me. I didn’t realize what it was about when I started reading it. I purchased the e-book years ago and saw the blurb on the front cover by Jennifer Brown saying it was basically impossible to put down, so I started reading it.

She’s not wrong. I definitely found this super dark story impossible to put down. Carey’s protectiveness and love for her sister made her a huge hero to me. Plus she just never gives up. There’s a LOT of stuff in this book that’s really difficult to read, but the heart of the story is about recovering from trauma, having a second chance, discovering that you’re still worthy of love.

Those are the things that made this book unputdownable for me. I also loved the music and the way music was such a refuge and place of healing for Carey and her sister. Fans of WHAT UNBREAKABLE LOOKS LIKE by Kate McLaughlin may want to add this one to their reading lists.

Content Notes

Recommended for Ages 16 up.

Representation
Major characters are all white. Carey’s sister, Jenessa, is diagnosed with selective mutism.

Profanity/Crude Language Content
Extreme profanity used somewhat frequently.

Romance/Sexual Content – Trigger Warning for sexual abuse and rape of a child.
Several references to and some brief descriptions of men molesting a girl at her mother’s direction (for payment to support her drug habit). One scene shows a man raping a girl and preparing to rape a girl.

In one scene, a girl places a boy’s hand on her. Another briefly shows a boy and girl having sex. One scene shows kissing between a boy and girl.

Spiritual Content
None.

Violent Content – Trigger warning for physical abuse
References to and descriptions of Carey and Jenessa’s mom physically abusing them. She states that their father also abused them.

In one scene, a man is killed with a gun.

Drug Content
Graphic descriptions of Carey’s mom using crystal meth.

Note: This post contains affiliate links, which do not cost you anything to use, but which help support the costs of running this blog.

Review: Being Toffee by Sarah Crossan

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Being Toffee
Sarah Crossan
Bloomsbury YA
Published July 14, 2020

Amazon | Barnes & Noble | Book Depository | Indiebound | Goodreads

About Being Toffee

One is trying to forget. The other is trying to remember.

After running away from an abusive home, Allison finds herself taking shelter in a shed behind an abandoned house. But the house isn’t empty after all; an elderly woman named Marla, who suffers from dementia, lives there. And rather than turn her away, Marla welcomes her – she mistakes Allison for an old friend from her past named Toffee.

Allison is used to hiding who she really is, and trying to be what other people want her to be, so she decides to play along. But as their bond grows, and Allison discovers how much Marla needs a real companion, Allison begins to waver. They both deserve a home, a safe place, and a family – but at what cost?

My Review

Wow. It’s amazing to me that this novel in poetry hits so hard emotionally in far fewer words than a narrative novel. Like, a good writer always gets you hooked on their characters, right? But this… like, I’d read 100 words and feel my heart breaking, or my blood boiling with anger, or I’d be overwhelmed with the tenderness of the scene.

Like my whole review could be summarized to say: I felt things.

Honestly, this book is such an emotional ride. I loved Allie and Marla both in all their flaws and brokenness. I hated every time someone took advantage of or hurt them.

But I loved how they healed each other in these incremental ways, and how they found ways to be friends around and through the broken places in their lives. I loved that.

The story has some tough content in it, so please read with care. I’ve listed trigger warnings below under violent content. Allie also is befriended by someone who takes advantage of her– not physically or sexually, but emotionally, and that got kind of gross, too, so be aware if that’s something you’re sensitive to.

One the whole, I still feel blown away by this book. I’ve read others by Crossan before, but this one hit me hardest by far.

See my reviews for:

MOONRISE by Sarah Crossan

WE COME APART by Sarah Crossan and Brian Conaghan

ONE by Sarah Crossan

Content Notes

Recommended for Ages 14 up.

Representation
All characters are Irish. (Takes place in Ireland.)

Profanity/Crude Language Content
Strong profanity used fairly frequently.

Romance/Sexual Content
None.

Spiritual Content
None.

Violent Content – TRIGGER WARNING
Multiple graphic descriptions of domestic violence and abuse and emotional trauma.

Drug Content
Smoking pot. Drinking alcohol.

Note: I received a free copy of BEING TOFFEE in exchange for my honest review. This post contains affiliate links, which do not cost you anything to use, but which help support the costs of running this blog.

Review: More than We Can Tell by Brigid Kemmerer

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More Than We Can Tell
Brigid Kemmerer
Bloomsbury Children’s
Published on March 6, 2018

Amazon | Barnes & Noble | Goodreads

About More Than We Can Tell
Rev Fletcher is battling the demons of his past. But with loving adoptive parents by his side, he’s managed to keep them at bay…until he gets a letter from his abusive father and the trauma of his childhood comes hurtling back.

Emma Blue spends her time perfecting the computer game she built from scratch, rather than facing her parents’ crumbling marriage. She can solve any problem with the right code, but when an online troll’s harassment escalates, she’s truly afraid.

When Rev and Emma meet, they both long to lift the burden of their secrets and bond instantly over their shared turmoil. But when their situations turn dangerous, their trust in each other will be tested in ways they never expected.

My Review
I loved Letters to the Lost, which was Kemmerer’s debut novel, and as soon as I heard that one of the characters from that story—Rev—would be starring in his own companion novel, I knew I had to get ahold of a copy. Then once I got the copy in my hands, I worried about how it would stack up to Letters. I know—I always do this. So finally, I broke down and started to read.

And even though I’m still not getting a lot of sleep with my new littlest one underfoot, I could not put this book down. If I didn’t read it in one sitting, I read it in two. I flew through the pages.

Getting to know more about Rev and his history and getting to see him confront his inner demons sucked me straight into the heart of this tale. I also love that it features not only a hardcore gamer girl, but one who coded her very own online video game! Go, girl! The experiences she describes as a player—the way some other players say ugly things or harass her—is terrible but too true. I can’t help but hope that a story like this will continue to bring light to these situations and start some conversations or change some hearts.

Brigid Kemmerer is quickly becoming one of those authors whose books I want to pre-order as soon as the option becomes available. I loved both Letters to the Lost and More than We Can Tell and I absolutely can’t wait to see what story she tells next.

Recommended for Ages 12 up.

Cultural Elements
Rev is part of a multi-racial family. He’s white and his (adoptive) parents are black. Other characters are white.

Profanity/Crude Language Content
Moderate profanity used fairly infrequently. Rev himself feels negatively about cursing.

Romance/Sexual Content
Emma receives threatening emails which contain sexual innuendo. Kissing between boy and girl. A man attempts to assault a girl.

Spiritual Content
Rev was raised by an abusive father who misused scripture as an excuse to torture him. Nevertheless, he still feels a close bond with the Bible, though we more often see him use it to govern his behavior rather than as a source of comfort. Rev meets a girl outside a church several times, which also carries this unspoken feeling that he feels safe near religious things.

Violent Content
Rev shares brief memories of physical abuse at the hands of his father: a forced tattoo, a burn, broken arm, etc. One scene shows a man slamming a girl’s head against a car window and attempting to assault her.

Drug Content
None.

Note: I received a free copy of this book in exchange for my honest review.

 

Review: We Come Apart by Sarah Crossan and Brian Conaghan

Book Review and Content, Contemporary, Poetry, Young Adult/Teen 12-18, , , , , , , , ,

We Come Apart
Sarah Crossan and Brian Conaghan
Bloomsbury USA Children’s
Published June 13, 2017

Amazon | Barnes & Noble | Goodreads

About We Come Apart
Nicu has emigrated from Romania and is struggling to find his place in his new home. Meanwhile, Jess’s home life is overshadowed by violence. When Nicu and Jess meet, what starts out as friendship grows into romance as the two bond over their painful pasts and hopeful futures. But will they be able to save each other, let alone themselves?

For fans of Una LaMarche’s Like No Other, this illuminating story told in dual points of view through vibrant verse will stay with readers long after they’ve turned the last page.

My Review
I wanted to read this book after having read One by Sarah Crossan, a novel in verse about conjoined sisters, which I liked. You can check out my review here.

This book was a little darker than One. The descriptions of prejudice against immigrants in England are sharp and raw and made me want to slap some people. I felt for Nicu and the difficult situation he found himself in, caught between his family’s expectations and wanting desperately to fit into his new home. It took a little longer for me to warm up to Jess. I wanted her to be smarter about her friends (who abandoned her and let her take the fall for a shoplifting venture) and I hated that she went along with her stepdad’s cruelty, though I get that she was in a really tough position there, too. She definitely grows as a character through the story. As she begins to recognize the value and goodness in Nicu, I think I felt like there was more to her than my original expectations.

And then there’s the ending. Okay. Wow. Talk about a knife to the heart. I really wanted there to be some shining rainbow of a happy ending, and it just doesn’t go at all the way I hoped. The story definitely makes a point, and Nicu’s heroism remains true to the bitter end, which was, in its own way, so sweet. And so SAD.

Though We Come Apart isn’t as dark or graphic as some of the novels in verse by Ellen Hopkins, I can see it appealing to fans of her books as it contains some similar elements: star-crossed love, social justice issues, and mistaken judgments about others.

Recommended for Ages 13 up.

Cultural Elements
Fifteen-year-old Nicu and his family are immigrants from Romania and face some severe prejudice. Nicu wants to fit in but finds it difficult to understand English language and culture. (The story is set in England.)

Profanity/Crude Language Content
Extreme profanity used infrequently.

Romance/Sexual Content
Nicu brings Jess to his house and jokes that his parents will only be upset if they discover the two “making sex.” (They don’t.) Nicu’s parents have come to England to save for a bride for fifteen-year-old Nicu, who does not want to get married. At school, a girl accuses Nicu of touching her rear. At one point, Jess’s stepdad get a bit creepy, inviting her to go swimming with him. It definitely makes her feel like he wants something inappropriate from her, but she finds it hard to express why she feels that way when telling her mom later. One brief kiss between a boy and girl.

Spiritual Content
None.

Violent Content
Jess and Nicu meet at a community service project after each are separately busted for shoplifting.

Boys bully Nicu in the locker room after gym class. One boy attacks Nicu and he retaliates.

Jess’s stepdad physically and verbally abuses her mom. He makes Jess record videos of her mom doing chores he assigns her and of the times he beats her up. Jess hates it but feels powerless to stop it when her mom won’t defend herself or go to authorities.

Drug Content
None.

Note: I received a free copy of this book in exchange for my honest review.