Category Archives: Memoir

Review: Gender Queer by Maia Kobabe

Book Review and Content, Coming of Age, Graphic Novel or Adaptation, Memoir, Nonfiction, , , , , , , ,
Gender Queer by Maia Kobabe

Gender Queer
Maia Kobabe
Lion Forge Comics
Published May 28, 2019

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About Gender Queer

In 2014, Maia Kobabe, who uses e/em/eir pronouns, thought that a comic of reading statistics would be the last autobiographical comic e would ever write. At the time, it was the only thing e felt comfortable with strangers knowing about em. Now, GENDER QUEER is here.

Maia’s intensely cathartic autobiography charts eir journey of self-identity, which includes the mortification and confusion of adolescent crushes, grappling with how to come out to family and society, bonding with friends over erotic gay fanfiction, and facing the trauma of pap smears. Started as a way to explain to eir family what it means to be nonbinary and asexual, GENDER QUEER is more than a personal story: it is a useful and touching guide on gender identity—what it means and how to think about it—for advocates, friends, and humans everywhere.

My Review

I think what’s really cool about this book is that the author takes time to give clear, well-explored explanations of key moments in eir life when eir identity came into focus. Maia Kobabe diligently and openly explains eir relationship with eir body as a child, an adolescent, and later as an adult. Why did female pronouns feel so wrong for em? Why do sexual fantasies feel so much more satisfying to em than experiences do?

Having these conversations plainly and openly offers solidarity to others having similar experiences. It shows people who have similar questions that they’re not alone. They’re not the first ones to feel a disconnect with their bodies. It also provides a roadmap for people who do not identify as genderqueer. Reading a book like this, a story that details someone’s personal experience, allows readers to bring questions to a safe space where there’s no judgment or intrusion. Reading about Maia’s experience allows us to listen and cultivate empathy for others who may have a different life experience than we do.

Banning Gender Queer

One of the reasons I opted to read this book is because I hear it discussed so often in the context of being banned in schools. If you’ve been on my blog awhile, you probably already know that I’m not a fan of book bans, and it’s not a position I came to lightly. The core of the decision really is this: as a parent, my job is to be part of the decision-making about books my child reads. It is not my job to decide which books are okay for someone else’s child to read.

With that said, I think GENDER QUEER brings some important topics to the table for discussion. It does address some mature topics, so I think it would generally be more appropriate to older readers.

Content Notes

Recommended for Ages 16 up.

Representation
Maia identifies as genderqueer and uses Spivak pronouns (e/em/eir), which are a set of gender-neutral, grammatically singular pronouns. Some other people appearing in the memoir are queer as well.

Profanity/Crude Language Content
Extreme profanity used very infrequently.

Romance/Sexual Content
References to gay pornography. References to sex. In one scene, Maia very briefly outlines with a partner the things e would not feel comfortable doing sexually. One line later states that e and eir partner have made out and had sex. In one scene, Maia lists a snippet of a sexually explicit conversation e had with eir partner and the divergence of eir feelings about the fantasy of the experience versus the actual experience.

Maia is also very open about eir personal experience with arousal and masturbation. E explains these feelings as part of a larger explanation of eir asexuality and/or gender dysphoria. It didn’t come across as something meant to be sexy. Instead, it appeared to be a thoughtful examination of how eir body reacts to touch and visual stimulation and how that might differ from others’ experiences.

There are a few panels that show some cartoon nudity. One panel shows two men kissing from their hips upward. One shows two men facing each other, referencing a fantasy Maia had based on Plato’s SYMPOSIUM. A couple show Maia from the side, sitting on a toilet, after e has discovered the start of eir period. One page shows Maia undressing for an examination with a gynecologist. One panel shows em naked from the front.

Spiritual Content
None.

Violent Content
Maia describes the pain of a gynecological exam as feeling like e has been stabbed through the abdomen. The illustration shows a torso without gender details with a blade stabbed through the abdomen. Another illustration shows a similar image, but from a side view.

Drug Content
None.

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Review: Hurdles in the Dark by Elvira K. Gonzalez

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Hurdles in the Dark: My Story of Survival, Resilience and Triumph
Elvira K. Gonzalez
Roaring Brook Press
Published May 28, 2024

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About Hurdles in the Dark: My Story of Survival, Resilience and Triumph

A Mexican-American teen girl dreams of winning an athletic scholarship against all odds in a Texas border town. This true story of survival, strength, and triumph is perfect for fans of Educated and Athlete A.

Twenty-four that’s how long fourteen-year-old Elvira Gonzalez is given to come up with the $40,000 she needs to save her kidnapped mother from a drug cartel. It’s 2006 and Elvira’s hometown of Laredo, Texas, has become engulfed by the Mexican Drug War. Elvira’s life is unraveling around her—setting her on a harrowing path that leads her to being locked up in one of South Texas’s worst juvenile detention centers.

After Elvira’s released from juvie, she’s resolved to never go back. That’s when her unexpected salvation arrives in the form of 33-inch-high plastic hurdles. Determined to win a track scholarship out of Laredo, Elvira begins breaking into the school, alone, at 5:30 in the morning to practice hurdling. Soon, she catches the attention of a renowned high school coach, an adult man in his 30s. As they train, their coach-student relationship begins to change, becoming sexual. At just seventeen years old, Elvira experiences the dangers many young athletes face, especially those who are marginalized. In spite of these towering obstacles, Elvira eventually propels herself to become one of the top ranked hurdlers in the USA and the first in her family to go to college.

This inspiring true story of grit, tenacity, and hope traces Elvira’s path as she overcomes impossible hurdles in her race to freedom.

My Review

I was briefly confused as I started reading this book because it’s about a girl named Kristy, but the author’s name is listed as Elvira. Kristy is her middle name and the name she went by during the time the memoir relates, so that makes sense.

The memoir focuses on her life from sixth grade to her last track and field event as a senior in high school. She experiences lots of hardship, including her mom being kidnapped in Mexico and held for ransom. She also has a long relationship with an abusive coach.

Especially in the early part of the book, a lot of conversations are written in Spanglish, which Kristy jokingly refers to as her first language. Those conversations feel really natural, and she offers plenty of context clues for readers unfamiliar with Spanish to follow.

Several scenes describe her running in races, and I really enjoyed the breakdown of a hurdle race and the physics of how to jump hurdles effectively and quickly. I knew almost nothing about the sport when I started reading the book. She explains everything in easy-to-understand terms and draws readers into the intensity of the moments before and during races.

At the end of the book, the author revisits some of the hardships she endured with an eye toward solutions and better support for today’s young athletes. She does a great job advocating for change and explaining why changes are desperately needed.

Conclusion

All in all, Hurdles in the Dark is a challenging read. It exhumes trauma and hardship, but ultimately tells a story of hope and triumph. I recommend this especially for young athletes and people who work with them, but I think anyone looking for a gripping memoir will find this one engaging.

Content Notes

Recommended for Ages 14 up.

Representation
Kristy is Mexican American.

Profanity/Crude Language Content
About a half-dozen instances of the F-bomb. Other profanity used pretty infrequently.

Romance/Sexual Content
A coach confesses inappropriate behavior to Kristy. No details about his confession. Later, another coach assaults Kristy multiple times. Again, no details. He displays other grooming behaviors, like giving her gifts. She references him stalking her and controlling who she sees and when.

Kristy briefly dates a boy, but only one scene shows them together, and it doesn’t focus on the romance between them.

Spiritual Content
Kristy prays for her mom’s safe return. She listens, hoping that if her mom dies, she’ll send a sign, as she promised before.

Violent Content
Kristy learns that her middle school friend has been shot and killed. Kidnappers abduct Kristy’s mom and threaten to kill her unless Kristy can get them $40,000. Kristy speaks to her mom on the phone several times. Kristy is sent to juvie after telling her mom she’s suicidal.

Kristy’s track coach assaults her (no description) and, when Kristy tries to end the relationship, becomes violent.

Drug Content
Kristy’s relative is an alcoholic. She sells the family’s belongings without permission to finance her drinking.

Note: This post contains affiliate links, which do not cost you anything to use but help support this blog. I received a free copy of this book in exchange for my honest review. All opinions are my own.

Review: Three Summers by Amra Sabic-El-Rayess with Laura L. Sullivan

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Three Summers: A Memoir of Sisterhood, Summer Crushes, and Growing Up on the Eve of War
Amra Sabic-El-Rayess with Laura L. Sullivan
Farrar, Straus, & Giroux
Published April 9, 2024

Amazon | Bookshop | Goodreads

About Three Summers

An epic middle-grade memoir about sisterhood and coming-of-age in the three years leading up to the Bosnian Genocide.

Three Summers is the story of five young cousins who grow closer than sisters as ethnic tensions escalate over three summers in 1980s Bosnia. They navigate the joys and pitfalls of adolescence on their family’s little island in the middle of the Una River. When finally confronted with the harsh truths of the adult world around them, their bond gives them the resilience to discover and hold fast to their true selves.

Written with incredible warmth and tenderness, Amra Sabic-El-Rayess takes readers on a journey that will break their hearts and put them back together again.

My Review

This memoir is broken into three sections, one for each of the summers Amra spends with her cousins. Before that first summer, her family experiences a terrible loss, and Amra sinks into a dark depression. As she gets to know her cousins, she begins to have hope again, confidence in herself, and the courage to form friendships with others.

Her love for her family is so clear in the pages of the book. It celebrates familial bonds, especially those between a child and their parents, and the bonds between siblings and cousins.

This is the first book I’ve ever read about the Bosnian Genocide, though it isn’t the author’s first memoir about that time. After reading this book, I ordered a copy of her YA memoir, THE CAT I NEVER NAMED, so hopefully I’ll be ready to share my review of that book soon, too.

Technically, this book focuses on the years leading up to the genocide, in which the government becomes more and more hostile, one slow step at a time. I’m not gonna lie; it is harrowing to read a story like this and see parallels in some of the dehumanizing rhetoric certain political leaders are using right now.

Those comments make stories like this critically important because we need to remember that genocide doesn’t begin with the targeted deaths of a group of people. It begins with the systematic dehumanization of them.

I’m so glad Sabic-El-Rayess continues to write about her experiences in a way that kids can read about. The scenes in this book stay focused on Amra’s experience as a child, looking through her eyes. This is an important book, especially now. I hope that many people will discover and read it.

Content Notes

Recommended for Ages 8 to 12.

Representation
Amra and her family are Muslim. Amra’s older brother has Marfan syndrome.

Profanity/Crude Language Content
None.

Romance/Sexual Content
Kissing between boy and girl.

Spiritual Content
References to different faith practices of different groups around Amra.

Violent Content
Death of a sibling on scene. References to Islamaphobia. References to torture and execution.

Drug Content
One teen character smokes cigarettes.

Note: This post contains affiliate links, which do not cost you anything to use but help support this blog. I received a free copy of this book in exchange for my honest review. All opinions are my own.

Review: The Diary of a Young Girl: The Definitive Edition by Anne Frank

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The Diary of a Young Girl: The Definitive Edition
Anne Frank
EFE Books
Published May 15, 2022

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About The Diary of a Young Girl: The Definitive Edition

The Diary of a Young Girl, often known as the Anne Frank Diary, is a collection of entries from Anne Frank’s Dutch-language diary, which she recorded while a thirteen-year-old Jewish girl and her family evacuated their house in Amsterdam and went into hiding in 1942 when Nazis occupied Holland. Anne Frank died of typhus at the Bergen-Belsen detention camp in 1945 after the family was captured in 1944.

Anne Frank kept a diary throughout this time, recording vivid recollections of her events. Her tale is a fascinating commentary on human tenacity and weakness, as well as a riveting self-portrait of a sensitive and energetic young lady whose promise was sadly cut short. Miep Gies was able to retrieve the diary.

My Review

I’d been thinking that I’d read Anne Frank’s diary in school, but I don’t think that’s actually true. I know we read the play based on her diary and then went to see it performed by a local community theatre. I don’t think we read her actual diary, though.

This year, one of the books banned near me is the graphic novel adaptation of Anne Frank’s diary. I would like to read that book, but wanted to read the original first, since the objection to the graphic novel seems to be that something included in it isn’t accurate to the original diary.

Some Facts I Learned from the Foreward of Diary of a Young Girl

Anne initially kept her diary for herself, but when a member of the exiled Dutch government expressed interest in personal witness accounts written during the war, Anne began editing her diary entries with the intent on publishing her writing someday.

Anne’s father put together the entries that formed the first publication of the book. He opted not to include journal entries referencing Anne’s sexuality (something not discussed at the time in young adult literature) and negative thoughts about her mom and other people she lived with in the Secret Annex.

When Anne’s father, Otto Frank, died, the diary became the property of the Netherlands State Institute for War Documentation, which investigated and proved the diary authentic. After that, the diary was published in its entirety.

After that, the sole heir of Otto Frank, who owned the copyrights of Anne’s diary, sought to publish a new, expanded edition of the work. This contains about thirty percent new material compared to the original publication.

She Was Thirteen

As I read the entries to Anne Frank’s diary, it struck me again and again how young she was when she wrote them. Though she intended to publish something based on her diary, we don’t have a way of knowing what she would or would not have wanted publicly known. How would she have felt about the things she wrote about her mom and sister– and even her dad– if she’d been the family member to survive the war? We will never have the chance to know.

She wrote so many insightful things, too. She wrote about the anxiety and depression of being in hiding. Her family would hear rumors of arrests, torture, and death in concentration camps. They endured nighttime bombings, knowing if any of them were injured, they couldn’t safely get medical help. And if the building in which they were hiding was destroyed, they’d have nowhere to go.

She wrote about falling in love, about growing up, and about the changes in her relationships with her family members as she grew.

Anne Frank Wanted to Be a Writer

Every life lost in the war and Holocaust is tragic, but there is something especially tragic about the loss of this young writer. Even as a teenager, she had such a gift with words. What would our world have been like if she’d been able to pursue that gift and share it with us for decades more? What would she have written about her life in hiding and about the aftermath of the war if she’d lived to tell us?

I feel like her story would be important anyway as a record of her experiences, but I’m sure what’s made it so enduring is Anne’s ability to articulate her thoughts and experiences in a way that transcends her age. Some passages in the diary are so powerfully written. And yet, in others, she reminds us that she’s an early teenager with hopes and dreams and frustrations about her family, her studies, and her relationships.

Conclusion

I’m so glad I read this book. I think Anne Frank’s story more than deserves its place of honor. This book is so much more than a teenage girl’s diary. It’s an account of a young girl forced into hiding with her family, coming of age during World War II. It’s the story of a bright young mind who finds humor in the everyday goings on around her. This is the story of a girl whose life was brutally ended far too soon.

I highly recommend reading THE DIARY OF A YOUNG GIRL by Anne Frank if you haven’t already. I also think it would be worth rereading as an adult because I know that impacted my perspective.

Content Notes

Recommended for Ages 10 up.

Representation
Anne, her family, and the others living in the Secret Annex are Jewish.

Profanity/Crude Language Content
Anne uses an offensive racial term for biracial people. (She doesn’t appear to be using the term to be purposely offensive, but in the context of the language commonly used at the time.)

Romance/Sexual Content
Anne reports she once asked a female friend if she could see her breasts and wanted to kiss her. She says she feels “ecstasy” when seeing female bodies. Anne laments that her parents never spoke openly with her about sex. She mentions speaking openly with Peter about the bodies of men and women. Kissing between boy and girl.

Spiritual Content
Anne’s family celebrates Hanukkah and St. Nicholas Day together.

Violent Content
Anne hears rumors of citizens being executed. She hears rumors about people taken to concentration camps. Her family hears they get very little food or water, that thousands must share a single bathroom, that their heads are shaved, and that many are murdered. Anne worries about friends from school and others her family knew. She sometimes has dreams of them asking her for help.

Anne very briefly mentions that someone in her family once tried to end their life.

Drug Content
An adult drinks wine and then does not sleep well. Another adult smokes, and others tell him he should quit. Other scenes reference people drinking alcohol. Anne takes Valerian drops to combat feelings of anxiety and panic during her time in hiding.

Note: This post contains affiliate links, which do not cost you anything to use but which help support this blog. I received a free copy of THE DIARY OF A YOUNG GIRL: THE DEFINITIVE EDITION in exchange for my honest review.

Review: The Girl Who Sang by Estelle Nadel, Sammy Savos, and Bethany Strout

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The Girl Who Sang: A Holocaust Memoir of Hope and Survival
Estelle Nadel
Illustrated by Sammy Savos
Edited by Bethany Strout
Roaring Brook Press
Published January 23, 2024

Amazon | Bookshop | Goodreads

About The Girl Who Sang: A Holocaust Memoir of Hope and Survival

A heartrending graphic memoir about a young Jewish girl’s fight for survival in Nazi-occupied Poland, THE GIRL WHO SANG illustrates the power of a brother’s love, the kindness of strangers, and finding hope when facing the unimaginable.

Born to a Jewish family in a small Polish village, Estelle Nadel―then known as Enia Feld―was just seven years old when the Nazis invaded Poland in 1939. Once a vibrant child with a song for every occasion, Estelle would eventually lose her voice as, over the next five years, she would survive the deaths of their mother, father, their eldest brother and sister, and countless others.

A child at the mercy of her neighbors during a terrifying time in history, THE GIRL WHO SANG is an enthralling first-hand account of Estelle’s fight for survival during World War II. She would weather loss, betrayal, near-execution, and spend two years away from the warmth of the sun―all before the age of eleven. And once the war was over, Estelle would walk barefoot across European borders and find remnants of home in an Austrian displaced persons camp before finally crossing the Atlantic to arrive in New York City―a young woman carrying the unseen scars of war.

Beautifully rendered in bright hues with expressive, emotional characters, debut illustrator Sammy Savos masterfully brings Estelle’s story of survival during the Holocaust to a whole new generation of readers. THE GIRL WHO SANG is perfect for fans of MARCH, MAUS, and ANNE FRANK’S DIARY.

My Review

What a powerful first-hand account of survival during the Nazi occupation of Poland. In the opening pages, we meet Enia’s family and see the quiet life they live in their small town. Then, as the Nazis invade, things change. Her family must hide. Enia feels afraid. She loses so many people, but always, when she needs help, someone steps up to help her.

Some of the scenes in the book are pretty chilling. There’s one brief series of panels that shows, from a distance, soldiers lining people up against a building. In the next image, red smudges the wall of the building, and the people are shown collapsed on the ground. The viewer easily understands they’ve been shot to death.

Thinking about this tiny girl never speaking above a whisper or standing up while she was in hiding can’t help but break your heart. Thinking about her brother, who was only a few years older than she was, risking his life several times a week to look for food is also heartbreaking. I can’t begin to think about how I would process that anxiety– both from being the person going out and the person left behind. The resilience and devotedness of these siblings leaves me in awe.

I also love the decision to tell this story as a graphic memoir. Not only do the illustrations help to anchor the story in its setting, but they carefully lay out the story without needing to graphically describe some of the horrors Estelle and her family endured.

I think readers who were moved by THE LIBRARIAN OF AUSCHWITZ: THE GRAPHIC ADAPTATION or the graphic adaptations mentioned in the book description above will find this story equally moving and important.

Content Notes

Recommended for Ages 10 up.

Representation
Estelle (called Enia in the early pages of the book) and her family are Jewish and Polish.

Profanity/Crude Language Content
None.

Romance/Sexual Content
Enia believes her older sister and her sister’s sweetheart will get married.

She describes how her family used public showers in town once per week as part of getting ready for the Sabbath. One image shows a vague representation from a distance of Enia and her mother readying for a shower.

Spiritual Content
Enia celebrates Shabbat and Passover with her family. She also learns to prepare food according to Jewish rules so that the food is kosher.

Violent Content
Soldiers ransack Enia’s house, looking for valuables.

There’s one brief series of panels that shows, from a distance, soldiers lining people up against a building. In the next image, red smudges the wall of the building, and the people are shown collapsed on the ground. The viewer easily understands they’ve been shot to death. Enia is told that her mother was beaten by soldiers and likely shot to death the next morning. She’s told that other family members were shot as well and later learns they were killed in a gas chamber.

At one point, Enia witnesses soldiers beating her brother and begs for them to stop. The panels show simplified images that hint at the violence without being gratuitous.

Drug Content
None.

Note: This post contains affiliate links, which do not cost you anything to use, but which help support this blog. I received a free copy of THE GIRL WHO SANG in exchange for my honest review.

Review: Big Magic by Elizabeth Gilbert

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Big Magic: Creative Living Beyond Fear
Elizabeth Gilbert
Riverhead Books
September 22, 2015

Amazon | Bookshop | Goodreads

About Big Magic

Readers of all ages and walks of life have drawn inspiration and empowerment from Elizabeth Gilbert’s books for years. Gilbert offers insights into the mysterious nature of inspiration. She asks us to embrace our curiosity and let go of needless suffering. She shows us how to tackle what we most love, and how to face down what we most fear. And she discusses the attitudes, approaches, and habits we need in order to live our most creative lives.

Balancing between soulful spirituality and cheerful pragmatism, Gilbert encourages us to uncover the “strange jewels” that are hidden within each of us. Whether we are looking to write a book, make art, find new ways to address challenges in our work, embark on a dream long deferred, or simply infuse our everyday lives with more mindfulness and passion, BIG MAGIC cracks open a world of wonder and joy.

My Review

I saw this book on a list of great nonfiction for women. Years ago, I read EAT, PRAY, LOVE by Elizabeth Gilbert, and I love her TedTalk about creative genius, but this is the first book of hers that I’ve read since those things.

I feel like the best, shortest description of this book is that it’s basically her TedTalk on creative genius, but deeper, wider, and filled with even more wild and amazing stories. Every time I thought, well, “I can’t possibly love this book any more than I currently do,” she would open a new topic that resonated with me or begin talking about an author I deeply admire. (She talks about Harper Lee, Robin Wall Kimmerer, and Brené Brown in the book, just to name a few.)

This is the kind of book that I need to read again and again and let its lessons kind of soak in my brain. I want to be able to highlight sections or use some of the quotes from the book as journal prompts.

The book explores a lot of the heartaches and roadblocks of pursuing a creative life. As a writer, a LOT of what she said resonated with me in terms of my own processes and experiences. I feel like there are some great tools here that can help me move forward with my writing with more confidence and purpose. I’m really excited about that.

BIG MAGIC is a great book for creative people of all types, not just writers and not just people who are trying to pay the bills with their art. Pretty much, my advice is watch the TedTalk. If it speaks to you, and you’re interested in going deeper about those topics and your creativity, definitely check out BIG MAGIC.

Content Notes

Brief mentions of suicide or alcoholism.

Recommended for Ages 14 up.

Representation
Elizabeth Gilbert is a white woman. She tells the stories of a lot of other writers and artists, but I’m not sure how diverse that crowd is. At least a few are BIPOC.

Profanity/Crude Language Content
Extreme profanity used somewhat infrequently.

Romance/Sexual Content
References to moving overseas with her boyfriend.

Spiritual Content
So the basic premise is about approaching creativity or inspiration as if it arrives from an external source. Gilbert isn’t specific about what that source is, so readers have lots of room to fill in the blanks with their own spirituality. She talks about her beliefs about a soul versus her ego and how experiences affect each.

Violent Content
Gilbert mentions briefly that a number of artists have died by suicide or addiction to alcohol.

Drug Content
Mentions of alcoholism.

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