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Review: The Gifts of Imperfection by Brené Brown

The Gifts of Imperfection by Brene Brown

The Gifts of Imperfection
Brené Brown
Hazelden Publishing
Published August 27, 2010

Amazon | BookshopGoodreads

About The Gifts of Imperfection

A motivational and inspiring guide to wholehearted living, rather than just the average self-help book, with this groundbreaking work Brené Brown, Ph.D., bolsters the self-esteem and personal development process through her characteristic heartfelt, honest storytelling. With original research and plenty of encouragement, she explores the psychology of releasing our definitions of an “imperfect” life and embracing living authentically. Brown’s “ten guideposts” are benchmarks for authenticity that can help anyone establish a practice for a life of honest beauty—a perfectly imperfect life.

Now more than ever, we all need to cultivate feelings of self-worth, as well as acceptance and love for ourselves. In a world where insults, criticisms, and fears are spread too generously alongside messages of unrealistic beauty, attainment, and expectation, we look for ways to “dig deep” and find truth and gratitude in our lives. A new way forward means we can’t hold on too tightly to our own self-defeating thoughts or the displaced pain in our world. Instead, we can embrace the imperfection.

When our embarrassments and fears lie, we often listen to them anyway. They thwart our gratitude, acceptance, and compassion—our goodness. They insist, “I am not worthy.” But we are worthy—of self-discovery, personal growth, and boundless love. With Brené Brown’s game-changing New York Times bestseller The Gifts of Imperfection—which has sold more than 2 million copies in more than 30 different languages, and Forbes recently named one of the “Five Books That Will Actually Change Your Outlook On Life”—we find courage to overcome paralyzing fear and self-consciousness, strengthening our connection to the world.

My Review

Okay, so I listened to DARING GREATLY multiple times because it was too good to read just once. I wanted to hear it all from the beginning a second time (and a third time) once I kind of had the whole in my head already. And I’m super glad I did that.

I will do that same thing with GIFTS OF IMPERFECTION, but I’m writing the review between my first and second times reading it. (Mostly because I’ve been swamped and am way behind where I want to be with my reading and review calendar. Also because the publication dates on books keep getting pushed back, leaving me with weird, unexpected gaps in my calendar. It’s stressful, y’all!)

At any rate. So. This book. First, I want to say that I had this playing on my Audible account while wrapping Christmas gifts, and my daughter listened to it with me briefly. That led to some really great conversations. I hope we can listen to more of the book together at some point.

So I loved that DARING GREATLY gave this deep dive into what vulnerability is and why it’s so critical to be able to experience it in a healthy way in order to have healthy relationships and connections in your life. GIFTS OF IMPERFECTION is similar, but it focuses a lot more on perfectionism. The book examines our tendencies to overcommit or fill our lives to the seams with events and stuff and busyness.

And HOW not to do that. WHY not to do that.

I need this book in my life. Because I so do that. Everything must have a purpose, be structured, have some sort of benefit or gain. I forget sometimes that there is real value in just wasting time on something you love for no other reason than you love it. For me the biggest black hole of this kind of unstructured time is social. I end up feeling guilty later if it took me a long time to get something done. This is especially true if in addition to working on the tasks, I was chitchatting with someone.

I feel like I’m still learning to rewire myself to consider that time valuable and productive. And to try to listen to my heart or my body or my spirit and respond when I really genuinely need that rest time or unstructured, unproductive time.

At any rate, this book was a pretty key read for me in this season of my life. I’m super glad that I read it. I noticed that Brown has a new book out recently called ATLAS OF THE HEART. So, that one is now on my reading list!

If you’re looking for a book that kind of helps you quantify why being super busy feels like it’s not sustainable or not working, or you just feel like it’s time to rebalance priorities in your life and make more time for what matters, this is a GREAT book to read. I highly recommend it.

Content Notes on The Gifts of Imperfection

Recommended for Ages 14 up.

Representation
Relates stories and data based on a broad range of research.

Profanity/Crude Language Content
Strong profanity used infrequently.

Romance/Sexual Content
Some brief mentions of sex from the perspective of the way that asking for sex or participating in it means experiencing vulnerability. .

Spiritual Content
Mentions going to church.

Violent Content
Vague mentions of abuse situations.

Drug Content
Mentions of drinking alcohol and smoking as a poor coping strategy for vulnerability. She also discusses the connection between shame and addiction.

Note: This post contains affiliate links, which do not cost you anything to use, but which help support this blog.

Review: Daring Greatly by Brené Brown

Daring Greatly
Brené Brown
Avery
Published September 11, 2012

Amazon | Bookshop | Goodreads

About Daring Greatly

“It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; . . . who at best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement, and who at worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly.” —Theodore Roosevelt

Every day we experience the uncertainty, risks, and emotional exposure that define what it means to be vulnerable, or to dare greatly. Whether the arena is a new relationship, an important meeting, our creative process, or a difficult family conversation, we must find the courage to walk into vulnerability and engage with our whole hearts.

In DARING GREATLY, Dr. Brown challenges everything we think we know about vulnerability. Based on twelve years of research, she argues that vulnerability is not weakness, but rather our clearest path to courage, engagement, and meaningful connection. The book that Dr. Brown’s many fans have been waiting for, DARING GREATLY will spark a new spirit of truth—and trust—in our organizations, families, schools, and communities.

Researcher and thought leader Dr. Brené Brown offers a powerful new vision that encourages us to dare greatly: to embrace vulnerability and imperfection, to live wholeheartedly, and to courageously engage in our lives.

My Review

I have this book as an audiobook and I’ve listened to it multiple times. Every single time, I feel like I rediscover gems or somehow notice new information that I’d overlooked before. Or things make sense in a fresh way because of whatever’s happening in my life at the moment I read a particular topic or chapter.

It’s a challenging read, I won’t lie. Like, it really makes me think about the ways I handle my own emotional discomfort and gives an opportunity to make some changes. There are a lot of personal stories, which both soften the blow that comes from feeling so exposed emotionally. It makes you feel like Brown is right there in the vulnerability trenches with you.

One of the biggest changes that’s come from reading this book is in the way my husband and I relate to each other. I realized that when I feel vulnerable, I tend to counterattack. I will pick a fight with him or escalate a fight we’re already having. Now, instead, I try to create a little space in my head. I recognize that I’m feeling scared or hurt or whatever it is and try to process that rather than running from it into feeling angry.

I’m definitely a work in progress. Haha. But I feel like I’ve gotten a lot of really good stuff from this book. I wish there was a version specifically for teens addressing some issues specific to that time of life. I think teens can still read and benefit from the book, so I recommend it anyway.

If you haven’t seen Brené Brown’s TED Talk, that’s a great place to start in order to get more of a feel for what DARING GREATLY is about. Her talk is kind of a dip-your-toes-in look at what she covers in much greater depth in the book. If you watch that and are curious or intrigued, definitely pick up DARING GREATLY.

Content Notes

Recommended for Ages 14 up.

Representation
Relates stories and data based on a broad range of research.

Profanity/Crude Language Content
Strong profanity used infrequently.

Romance/Sexual Content
Some brief mentions of sex from the perspective of the way that asking for sex or participating in it means experiencing vulnerability.

Spiritual Content
Mentions going to church.

Violent Content
Vague mentions of abuse situations.

Drug Content
Mentions of drinking alcohol and smoking as a poor coping strategy for vulnerability. She also discusses the connection between shame and addiction.

Note: This post contains affiliate links, which do not cost you anything to use, but which help support this blog.