Tag Archives: bullying

Review: Starfish by Lisa Fipps

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Starfish by Lisa Fipps

Starfish
Lisa Fipps
Nancy Paulsen Books – Penguin Young Readers
Published March 9, 2021

Amazon | Bookshop | Goodreads

About Starfish

Ellie is tired of being fat-shamed and does something about it in this debut novel-in-verse.

Ever since Ellie wore a whale swimsuit and made a big splash at her fifth birthday party, she’s been bullied about her weight. To cope, she tries to live by the Fat Girl Rules–like “no making waves,” “avoid eating in public,” and “don’t move so fast that your body jiggles.” And she’s found her safe space–her swimming pool–where she feels weightless in a fat-obsessed world.

In the water, she can stretch herself out like a starfish and take up all the room she wants. It’s also where she can get away from her pushy mom, who thinks criticizing Ellie’s weight will motivate her to diet. Fortunately, Ellie has allies in her dad, her therapist, and her new neighbor, Catalina, who loves Ellie for who she is. With this support buoying her, Ellie might finally be able to cast aside the Fat Girl Rules and starfish in real life–by unapologetically being her own fabulous self.

My Review

I’ve heard so many great things about this book, and I can for sure say that none of them were exaggerated. I loved Ellie so much. She bares her soul on the page. I loved reading her journey from feeling crushed by shame to finding the confidence and self-love to stretch out and take up space like a starfish.

Ellie’s dad is awesome, too. There’s one scene where he’s just witnessed some of the hurtful things people say to Ellie, and he begins to cry. Even writing about it now, my eyes are all weepy. He doesn’t do everything perfectly (which just makes him all the more realistic), but it’s so clear he loves Ellie. I love that.

I also love Ellie’s relationship with Catalina. At first, she’s unsure of this new skinny girl. But as she gets to know Catalina, she realizes that Catalina knows about discrimination. Catalina treats Ellie the way she should be treated– loving her for who she is and gently challenging Ellie to learn to love herself, too.

STARFISH is a novel in verse, so it’s a quick read that will leap straight to your heart. I think readers who enjoyed RECKLESS, GLORIOUS GIRL by Ellen Hagan will love this one.

Content Notes

Content warning for bullying.

Recommended for Ages 8 to 12.

Representation
Ellie is fat. Her dad is Jewish and her mom is Christian. Ellie celebrates both religions. Ellie’s next door neighbors are Mexican American.

Profanity/Crude Language Content
None.

Romance/Sexual Content
None.

Spiritual Content
Ellie celebrates Shabbat and Hanukkah as well as Christmas with her family.

Violent Content
Bullies at school and home say cruel things to Ellie. In one scene, students sabotage Ellie’s desk so that it breaks when she sits on it.

Drug Content
None.

Note: This post contains affiliate links, which do not cost you anything to use, but which help support this blog.

Review: Odd Girl Out by Rachel Simmons

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Odd Girl Out: The Hidden Culture of Aggression in Girls
Rachel Simmons
Mariner Books
Published August 3, 2011

Amazon | Bookshop | Goodreads

About Odd Girl Out

When ODD GIRL OUT was first published, it became an instant bestseller and ignited a long-overdue conversation about the hidden culture of female bullying. Today the dirty looks, taunting notes, and social exclusion that plague girls’ friendships have gained new momentum in cyberspace.

In this updated edition, educator and bullying expert Rachel Simmons gives girls, parents, and educators proven and innovative strategies for navigating social dynamics in person and online, as well as brand new classroom initiatives and step-by-step parental suggestions for dealing with conventional bullying. With up-to-the-minute research and real-life stories, ODD GIRL OUT continues to be the definitive resource on the most pressing social issues facing girls today.

REVISED AND UPDATED
WITH NEW MATERIAL ON CYBERBULLYING AND
HELPING GIRLS HANDLE THE DANGERS OF LIFE ONLINE

My Review

I’ve been trying to remember how long this book has been on my reading list. Probably since it came out. I’m sure I saw another blogger talking about it, but I haven’t been able to track down who it was. At any rate, I’ve had a copy of the book for years and around the end of 2022 finally got down to reading it.

I think the most startling thing about the book for me was thinking about the women I know who still behave the way she describes in the book. ODD GIRL OUT talks a lot about how girls have been socialized to avoid direct conflict. We’re taught that it’s not nice. Not feminine. Not appropriate behavior. And so instead, a culture of indirect, often cruel or opaque conflict has emerged.

It’s the silent treatment. The refusal to talk through a conflict directly, instead pretending it didn’t happen or imagining the other person can read the body language or covert signals we send about our feelings.

When I Was the Odd Girl Out

Anyway. I remember being the odd girl out in sixth grade. I wasn’t sure how it happened, since my best friend from fifth grade and I ended up in the same class. She’d been the new girl in fifth, and I think by sixth grade, she’d decided she wanted to be friends with the cool girls, and not friends with me. It was a painful, lonely year.

In tenth grade, we had a class together. We hadn’t spoken since sixth grade, but she apologized. We didn’t become friends again, but I feel very lucky that she reached out like she did. Many people don’t get that kind of… validation? Closure? Whatever it is, I remember feeling that it lifted a weight off my shoulders that I didn’t realize I still carried.

At any rate. This book. ODD GIRL OUT. I love the way Simmons carefully peels back the layers of what’s happening between girls. The book contains tons of interviews with individual girls or group discussions from the three schools she visited regularly. It’s clear that she really tried to listen to the girls and put aside her preconceived ideas.

This Book Has References for Parents

I think my favorite chapter is the one on how to talk to your child if she’s being bullied. There are suggestions for things to say and why you should or should not take certain steps. I love that this list has been compiled from her conversations with girls experiencing bullying. When I spoke with my own daughter about some of the things in the book, she agreed with the book’s assessments. I like the idea of having something of a roadmap to help you navigate having those conversations with your kids.

One thing she mentions in that chapter, too, is how important it is to take stock of your own experiences with bullying in school. That way those feelings don’t leak into the conversation or drive you to make choices that are really about what happened to you, not about what’s going on with your child. Very wise stuff.

Ophelia Project

In the book, they reference the Ophelia Project, which I wasn’t familiar with. It’s a national nonprofit organization that teaches and promotes self-worth and self-confidence in girls. I’m hoping to learn more about the project and find some ways to contribute and maybe bring the curriculum to our schools or libraries where I live.

At any rate, I think ODD GIRL OUT is a necessary read for teachers, parents, and anyone who works with kids. I think readers who enjoy books on social issues or child development will love this book.

Content Notes

Recommended for Ages 14 up.

Representation
Simmons is herself a white woman. She relates stories as told to her by girls of color and white girls.

Profanity/Crude Language Content
Extreme profanity used somewhat infrequently.

Romance/Sexual Content
References to kissing between boy and girl. Brief reference to sexual abuse– one girl interviewed is an abuse survivor.

Spiritual Content
None.

Violent Content
References to domestic violence and abuse. References to fist-fighting. Many descriptions of cruel bullying behavior, especially psychologically or emotionally abusive behavior.

Drug Content
None.

Note: This post contains affiliate links, which do not cost you anything to use, but which help support this blog.

Review: Heartstopper: Volume Four by Alice Oseman

Book Review and Content, Contemporary, Graphic Novel or Adaptation, Romance, Young Adult/Teen 12-18, , , , , , , , ,

Heartstopper: Volume Four
Alice Oseman
Graphix
Published January 4, 2022

Amazon | Bookshop | Goodreads

About Heartstopper: Volume Four

Boy meets boy. Boys become friends. Boys fall in love. The bestselling LGBTQ+ graphic novel about life, love, and everything that happens in between: this is the fourth volume of HEARTSTOPPER, for fans of THE ART OF BEING NORMAL, Holly Bourne and LOVE, SIMON.

Charlie didn’t think Nick could ever like him back, but now they’re officially boyfriends. Charlie’s beginning to feel ready to say those three little words: I love you.

Nick’s been feeling the same, but he’s got a lot on his mind – not least coming out to his dad, and the fact that Charlie might have an eating disorder.

As summer turns to autumn and a new school year begins, Charlie and Nick are about to learn a lot about what love means.

HEARTSTOPPER is about love, friendship, loyalty and mental illness. It encompasses all the small stories of Nick and Charlie’s lives that together make up something larger, which speaks to all of us.

This is the fourth volume of HEARTSTOPPER, which has now been optioned for television by See-Saw Films.

My Review

The absolutely adorable romance between Charlie and Nick continues in the fourth volume of the series. All the books have been really quick reads, and all had me smiling at different moments. Sometimes I teared up, too. I love that while the story celebrates so many different loving relationships, it also gives space to talk about heavier issues.

In HEARTSTOPPER: VOLUME FOUR, the heavier issue explored is Charlie’s disordered eating. It’s mentioned in an earlier book, but Nick continues to be concerned and isn’t sure what to do to help his boyfriend through it. He has a couple long conversations with his mom and some panels show him doing internet research.

Ultimately, the story follows both Nick and Charlie through figuring out how to balance the intensity of their relationship and still maintain connections with others as well as figuring out how to have healthy support and boundaries with each other.

There are a couple of long passages that are journal entries from either Nick or Charlie. I thought those were a cool idea, but I wish more of the story was told in real time. Actual scenes unfolding in front of us.

I liked the attention to how to support– not save– someone who has an eating disorder, but I wonder if some readers will feel like the romance of the earlier volumes gets lost in the issue in this one.

I’m happy that I read it, and I will definitely read volume five.

Content Notes

Content warning for eating disorder, mentions of self-harm, and brief homophobic bullying.

Recommended for Ages 14 up.

Representation
Charlie is gay. Nick is bisexual.

Profanity/Crude Language Content
Extreme profanity used infrequently.

Romance/Sexual Content
Kissing between two boys. Kissing between boy and girl, and kissing between two girls.

Spiritual Content
None.

Violent Content
Some brief instances of bullying and homophobia.

Drug Content
None.

Note: This post contains affiliate links, which do not cost you anything to use, but which help support this blog.

Review: The Science of Being Angry by Nicole Melleby

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The Science of Being Angry
Nicole Melleby
Algonquin Young Readers
Published May 10, 2022

Amazon | Bookshop | Goodreads

About The Science of Being Angry

Eleven-year-old Joey is angry. All the time. And she doesn’t understand why. She has two loving moms, a supportive older half brother, and, as a triplet, she’s never without company. Her life is good. But sometimes she loses her temper and lashes out, like the time she threw a soccer ball—hard—at a boy in gym class and bruised his collarbone. Or when jealousy made her push her (former) best friend (and crush), Layla, a little bit too roughly.

After a meltdown at Joey’s apartment building leads to her family’s eviction, Joey is desperate to figure out why she’s so mad. A new unit in science class makes her wonder if the reason is genetics. Does she lose control because of something she inherited from the donor her mothers chose?

My Review

THE SCIENCE OF BEING ANGRY is the third book by Nicole Melleby that I’ve read. Her books, so far, tend to address identity issues as well as some complex mental health challenges that kids face, and I love them for that. All three books point up how confusing it can be to have big feelings, whether anger, depression, or grief. They also show parents grappling with their own fears and worries without letting those things intrude into the story and take center stage.

Joey has a lot of big feelings and a really hard time articulating them. Even though no one specifically articulates what’s happening, I felt like, as a reader, watching her, I could start to see patterns in some of the things that set off her anger. I loved that those clues were there, even though the story isn’t specifically about discovering why she feels the way she feels. The story focuses on recognizing the ways in which her behavior is hurting others and also the journey she and her family face to deciding it’s time for professional support for Joey and her family.

In my own experiences with mental health, we often neglect to think about the part of the journey that THE SCIENCE OF BEING ANGRY brings into the light. We want quick fixes. Or we want to ignore an issue, hoping it will resolve on its own (sometimes they do, so that impulse isn’t always wrong). Someone’s parents can be trying as hard as they can to find the right path forward, and it can still be a messy and painful and confusing process. I feel like this book perfectly nails that experience.

And it also brings readers a lot of hope. Loving someone and continuing to look for solutions matters. Loving someone and continuing to build communication and trust matters. Without being preachy, the book points up a lot of those great strengths that a family can bring. It also addresses the importance of counseling and the positives that can come from that kind of help.

Over all, THE SCIENCE OF BEING ANGRY is another great book by an author I can’t get enough of. I’m so glad I had the chance to read it, and I hope it finds its way into the hands of all the readers who need the hope and encouragement it brings.

If you want to know more about Nicole Melleby’s books, check out my reviews of HURRICANE SEASON and HOW TO BECOME A PLANET.

Content Notes for The Science of Being Angry

Recommended for Ages 10 to 14.

Representation
Joey has two moms and likes girls romantically.

Profanity/Crude Language Content
None.

Romance/Sexual Content
Two girls kiss. Some descriptions of affection between Joey’s moms.

Spiritual Content
None.

Violent Content
Joey pushes, shoves, and sometimes hits other kids, and her Mama.

A boy shoves a girl, hits her in the face with a piece of pizza, and calls her a rude nickname.

Drug Content
None.

Note: This post contains affiliate links, which do not cost you anything to use, but which help support this blog. I received a free copy of THE SCIENCE OF BEING ANGRY in exchange for my honest review.

Review: What Happened to Rachel Riley by Claire Swinarski

Book Review and Content, Contemporary, Middle Grade 8-12, , , , , , ,

What Happened to Rachel Riley?
Claire Swinarski
Quill Tree Books
Published January 10, 2023

Amazon | Bookshop | Goodreads

About What Happened to Rachel Riley?

In this engrossing and inventive contemporary middle grade novel that’s Where’d You Go Bernadette? with a #MeToo message, an eighth grader uses social media posts, passed notes, and other clues to find out why a formerly popular girl is now the pariah of her new school.

Anna Hunt may be the new girl at East Middle School, but she can already tell there’s something off about her eighth-grade class. Rachel Riley, who just last year was one of the most popular girls in school, has become a social outcast. But no one, including Rachel Riley herself, will tell Anna why.

As a die-hard podcast enthusiast, Anna knows there’s always more to a story than meets the eye. So she decides to put her fact-seeking skills to the test and create her own podcast around the question that won’t stop running through her head: What happened to Rachel Riley?

With the entire eighth grade working against her, Anna dives headfirst into the evidence. Clue after clue, the mystery widens, painting an even more complex story than Anna could have anticipated. But there’s one thing she’s certain of: If you’re going to ask a complicated question, you better be prepared for the fallout that may come with the answer.

My Review

I really enjoyed both of the other books by Claire Swinarski – THE KATE IN BETWEEN and WHAT HAPPENS NEXT. Both explore relationships between girls and show a lot of the complexity and the way relationships change in middle school. I love that about both those books.

And I love it about WHAT HAPPENED TO RACHEL RILEY? as well. What begins as Anna’s curiosity and perhaps a well-meaning attempt to understand why a girl has been ostracized unearths a whole mess of events that it’s clear her new classmates would rather keep quiet. She pieces events together, and then has to decide what to do about the painful truths she’s learned.

The emotional journey that Anna takes feels very real and genuine. She’s not always right. She struggles. Sometimes she missteps. But her experiences and responses to them made sense and drew me deeper into the story. I needed to know what would happen.

This is definitely the kind of book I wish I’d had in seventh grade, and one I wish my daughter had had, too. I think it’s a great resource for middle school classrooms and libraries. Readers who enjoyed UPSTANDER by James Preller or CHIRP by Kate Messner will not want to miss this one.

Content Notes

Recommended for Ages 10 to 14.

Representation
Anna’s mother emigrated to the US as a college student. Anna, her sister, and her mother speak Polish and English.

Profanity/Crude Language Content
References to crude comments about girls’ bodies.

Romance/Sexual Content
No romantic content. See spoiler section at the end.

Spiritual Content
None.

Violent Content
See spoiler section at the end.

Drug Content
None.

***

***

Spoilers

Boys at Anna’s school created a game in which they assigned point values for different girls. Boys would receive points for snapping a girl’s bra strap or slapping her butt. Some scenes show boys snapping a girl’s bra.

The story addresses this as absolutely wrong and explores how different girls feel in the moment and the ways they try to deal with it. For the most part, I love the way this topic is handled in the book. I felt like the girls’ reactions were realistic for girls at this age. Some wanted to pretend it wasn’t happening because they were too uncomfortable speaking up. Others tried to speak up but were shamed for it. Sometimes adults responded appropriately. Other times not so much.

So it felt very real. The story also didn’t feel forced to me. Things unfolded in a very organic way, and the issue didn’t overshadow the characters or their choices.

Note: This post contains affiliate links, which do not cost you anything to use, but which help support this blog. I received a free copy of WHAT HAPPENED TO RACHEL RILEY? in exchange for my honest review.

Review: Upstander by James Preller

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Upstander
James Preller
Feiwel & Friends
Published May 11, 2021

Amazon | Bookshop | Goodreads

About Upstander

Girl bullies, internet bullying, and substance use are themes in this James Preller middle grade standalone companion to Bystander

Mary O’Malley is tired of keeping secrets. Secrets like her older brother, Jonny’s, drug use. Starting seventh grade is tough enough without the upheaval her brother is bringing to their family.

It seems the only person who might understand is Griffen Connolly, whose older sister runs with Jonny in the wrong crowd. Mary thought Griff was too cool, too popular for her. But now he wants to hang out with her, and listen.

When two girls Mary thought were her friends decide to slam another girl online, Mary tries to look the other way. Then the girls turn on Mary, and suddenly, she doesn’t have a safety zone. Her brother is out of control, her family’s energies are all spent on him. There is only one person she can turn to. But can she trust Griff? Or is he one of the bullies?

My Review

This book reminded me a little bit of MARY UNDERWATER by Shannon Doleski, which I absolutely loved. In addition to being a book about a girl named Mary, UPSTANDER is about a sensitive, smart girl battling the violence of bullying and trying to find ways to love her brother despite his drug use disorder.

Mary faces a lot of challenging relationships. First, two of her girl friends make it clear they want to exclude a third girl, leaving Mary to decide whether to follow along. Then, a boy Mary spends time with teams up with two other boys to bully neighborhood kids. Again Mary finds herself in the middle, and she has to decide whether or not to speak up.

As Mary’s brother’s addiction becomes increasingly destructive to her family, Mary faces the same challenge about speaking up in her own family. Does she stay silent when her brother and mom fight, or is there a way to intervene and let them know how she feels?

Mary wrestles with these big emotions and complex relationships, all the while seeking to be true to herself and her personal values of kindness and generosity. She doesn’t always make the right choices, but she never stops trying to learn or to find a way through that doesn’t cause harm to someone else.

I loved this heartfelt, powerful story. I haven’t read BYSTANDER, which is a companion to this book and was published first, but I definitely want to read it now. So, I would love to see more of the community around Mary and read more by James Preller.

Content Notes

Content warning for drug addiction and bullying violence.

Recommended for Ages 10 to 14.

Representation
Some minor characters are Black.

Profanity/Crude Language Content
None.

Romance/Sexual Content
An adult talks about marring another adult. A boy moves in with his girlfriend. Mary discovers she has feelings for a boy at school. A girl talks about a boy asking her to send sexy pictures of herself. Later she mentions that she has sent him something, but isn’t specific what it is.

Spiritual Content
None.

Violent Content
Instances of bullying. A group of boys harass another boy, squirting ketchup packets on him. They bully another boy, threatening to take his basketball. A group of boys beat up another boy.

Drug Content
Mary’s brother is addicted to drugs. He steals items from their home and argues with Mary’s mom. Off-scene, a girl experiences a drug overdose. A boy who was there describes it afterward.

Note: This post contains affiliate links, which do not cost you anything to use, but which help support this blog. I received a free copy of Upstander in exchange for my honest review.