Tag Archives: Girl Friends

Review: Odd Girl Out by Rachel Simmons

Odd Girl Out by Rachel Simmons

Odd Girl Out: The Hidden Culture of Aggression in Girls
Rachel Simmons
Mariner Books
Published August 3, 2011

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About Odd Girl Out

When ODD GIRL OUT was first published, it became an instant bestseller and ignited a long-overdue conversation about the hidden culture of female bullying. Today the dirty looks, taunting notes, and social exclusion that plague girls’ friendships have gained new momentum in cyberspace.

In this updated edition, educator and bullying expert Rachel Simmons gives girls, parents, and educators proven and innovative strategies for navigating social dynamics in person and online, as well as brand new classroom initiatives and step-by-step parental suggestions for dealing with conventional bullying. With up-to-the-minute research and real-life stories, ODD GIRL OUT continues to be the definitive resource on the most pressing social issues facing girls today.

REVISED AND UPDATED
WITH NEW MATERIAL ON CYBERBULLYING AND
HELPING GIRLS HANDLE THE DANGERS OF LIFE ONLINE

My Review

I’ve been trying to remember how long this book has been on my reading list. Probably since it came out. I’m sure I saw another blogger talking about it, but I haven’t been able to track down who it was. At any rate, I’ve had a copy of the book for years and around the end of 2022 finally got down to reading it.

I think the most startling thing about the book for me was thinking about the women I know who still behave the way she describes in the book. ODD GIRL OUT talks a lot about how girls have been socialized to avoid direct conflict. We’re taught that it’s not nice. Not feminine. Not appropriate behavior. And so instead, a culture of indirect, often cruel or opaque conflict has emerged.

It’s the silent treatment. The refusal to talk through a conflict directly, instead pretending it didn’t happen or imagining the other person can read the body language or covert signals we send about our feelings.

When I Was the Odd Girl Out

Anyway. I remember being the odd girl out in sixth grade. I wasn’t sure how it happened, since my best friend from fifth grade and I ended up in the same class. She’d been the new girl in fifth, and I think by sixth grade, she’d decided she wanted to be friends with the cool girls, and not friends with me. It was a painful, lonely year.

In tenth grade, we had a class together. We hadn’t spoken since sixth grade, but she apologized. We didn’t become friends again, but I feel very lucky that she reached out like she did. Many people don’t get that kind of… validation? Closure? Whatever it is, I remember feeling that it lifted a weight off my shoulders that I didn’t realize I still carried.

At any rate. This book. ODD GIRL OUT. I love the way Simmons carefully peels back the layers of what’s happening between girls. The book contains tons of interviews with individual girls or group discussions from the three schools she visited regularly. It’s clear that she really tried to listen to the girls and put aside her preconceived ideas.

This Book Has References for Parents

I think my favorite chapter is the one on how to talk to your child if she’s being bullied. There are suggestions for things to say and why you should or should not take certain steps. I love that this list has been compiled from her conversations with girls experiencing bullying. When I spoke with my own daughter about some of the things in the book, she agreed with the book’s assessments. I like the idea of having something of a roadmap to help you navigate having those conversations with your kids.

One thing she mentions in that chapter, too, is how important it is to take stock of your own experiences with bullying in school. That way those feelings don’t leak into the conversation or drive you to make choices that are really about what happened to you, not about what’s going on with your child. Very wise stuff.

Ophelia Project

In the book, they reference the Ophelia Project, which I wasn’t familiar with. It’s a national nonprofit organization that teaches and promotes self-worth and self-confidence in girls. I’m hoping to learn more about the project and find some ways to contribute and maybe bring the curriculum to our schools or libraries where I live.

At any rate, I think ODD GIRL OUT is a necessary read for teachers, parents, and anyone who works with kids. I think readers who enjoy books on social issues or child development will love this book.

Content Notes

Recommended for Ages 14 up.

Representation
Simmons is herself a white woman. She relates stories as told to her by girls of color and white girls.

Profanity/Crude Language Content
Extreme profanity used somewhat infrequently.

Romance/Sexual Content
References to kissing between boy and girl. Brief reference to sexual abuse– one girl interviewed is an abuse survivor.

Spiritual Content
None.

Violent Content
References to domestic violence and abuse. References to fist-fighting. Many descriptions of cruel bullying behavior, especially psychologically or emotionally abusive behavior.

Drug Content
None.

Note: This post contains affiliate links, which do not cost you anything to use, but which help support this blog.

Review: Smash It! by Francina Simone

Smash It!
Francina Simone
Inkyard Press
Published September 22, 2020

Amazon | Barnes & Noble | Book Depository | Indiebound | Goodreads

About Smash It!

Refreshingly authentic and bold… Don’t miss this smashing #ownvoices novel from Francina Simone! Filled with heart, humor and a heroine to root for, Smash It! is a perfect read for fans of Julie Murphy, Ibi Zoboi and Ashley Poston.

Olivia “Liv” James is done with letting her insecurities get the best of her. So she does what any self-respecting hot mess of a girl who wants to SMASH junior year does…

After Liv shows up to a Halloween party in khaki shorts–why, God, why?–she decides to set aside her wack AF ways. She makes a list–a F*ck-It list.

1. Be bold–do the thing that scares me.

2. Learn to take a compliment.

3. Stand out instead of back.

She kicks it off by trying out for the school musical, saying yes to a date and making new friends. Life is great when you stop punking yourself! However, with change comes a lot of missteps, and being bold means following her heart. So what happens when Liv’s heart is interested in three different guys–and two of them are her best friends? What is she supposed to do when she gets dumped by a guy she’s not even dating? How does one Smash It! after the humiliation of being friend-zoned?

In Liv’s own words, “F*ck it. What’s the worst that can happen?”

A lot, apparently.

My Review

SMASH IT! is a lot in some great ways and a few problematic ones. First, the great stuff:

I love that the story tackles body image but isn’t about conformity. Liv faces her own insecurities about her body and learns some lessons about the value of having friends who celebrate you for you rather than tear you down, even if it is meant to be teasing.

SMASH IT! really celebrates girl friends in a way that I love as well. At the beginning of the story, she mostly spends her time with Eli and Dré, two boys. She reluctantly makes friends with two girls and, though it’s not always easy to navigate those new relationships, she comes to really value the way they affirm her and check her behavior when she needs it.

The writing is solid. I always struggle with books that have as much profanity as this one does, and so that’s true here, but I feel like Francina Simone’s writing is strong and her characterization is super consistent through the course of the story. Liv is funny and vulnerable and flawed, and I loved reading about her journey.

I also struggled with some of the racial comments, particularly those directed at a Hawaiian character and an Israeli-Palestinian character. Though they were uttered by pretty irreverent characters, and Liv sometimes frowned on the insensitive or racist comments, they were just hard to read, and I don’t think they were necessary.

On the other hand, I felt like some of the conversations about race that the story explored were great for opening up discussion on things and showing some nuance that’s often overlooked. When Jackie gets into it with a white theater kid because she’s using the N-word and he calls her out, Liv serves as a referee, giving another perspective on the conversation.

The story also explores a lot of ideas about sex. Liv wants to have sex, but hasn’t yet. One of her friends encourages her to sleep with someone she doesn’t care about but who’d be a good lover to get the experience. Another friend doesn’t believe in casual sex and encourages Liv to wait until she’s found someone she wants to be with. Liv views having sex as taking ownership of her body in a new way, but the motivation to do it seems to overtake other reasoning. Ultimately, she causes some hurt, and at first is super unrepentant about that– as though feeling bad for her choice is synonymous with feeling guilty or ashamed of sex and of her body.

Though she does stop and re-examine those feelings and take another look at how her actions have affected others, I felt like the emotional fallout sort of fizzled if that makes sense? Like everyone kind of shrugs and says it’s all cool. Could that happen? Maybe, but in my experience, it usually takes a lot longer for people to feel okay for something they initially viewed as a huge betrayal.

At any rate, on the whole, I loved some things about this book a huge ton. Liv is a flawed character, for sure. But she’s also trying to learn and grow as a person and willing to face her mistakes, and I loved that.

Content Notes

Recommended for Ages 16 up.

Representation
Liv is black. Her best friend Dré is Puerto Rican. Her other best friend Eli is Israeli-Palestinian. One of her newer friends is bisexual. Liv dates a boy who’s Hawaiian.

Profanity/Crude Language Content
Extreme profanity and crude comments used lots.

Romance/Sexual Content
Kissing between boy and girl. References to masturbation. Explicit descriptions of sex between boy and girl.

Spiritual Content
Liv briefly wonders if Eli wants to practice Judaism like his dad or Islam like his mom.

Violent Content – Trigger Warning
Some racist and insensitive comments about a Hawaiian character (objectifying and sexualizing him because of his race). A racist sexual comment about an Israeli-Palestinian character.

A boy throws things at his dad. His dad slaps him. Two boys get into a fist fight.

Drug Content
References to teen drinking and one reference to smoking pot.

Note: I received a free copy of SMASH IT! in exchange for my honest review. This post contains affiliate links, which do not cost you anything to use, but which help support the costs of running this blog.

Review: The Girls of Firefly Cabin by Cynthia Ellingsen

The Girls of Firefly Cabin
Cynthia Ellingsen
Albert Whitman & Company
Available May 28, 2019

Amazon | Barnes & Noble | Goodreads

About THE GIRLS OF FIREFLY CABIN

Lauren, Isla, Jade, and Archer meet the first day of summer camp, and friendship magic is made in Firefly Cabin. If only they could immortalize their summer memories by winning the contest to be the face of the camp’s website. But it won’t be easy; not with rival cabins, distracting crushes, and of course, the girl’s own secrets getting in the way. Can friendship—and the Fireflies—triumph over all?

My Review

THE GIRLS OF FIREFLY CABIN is one of the cutest books I’ve read in a long time. I loved all the summer camp stuff– references to campfires, silly songs, and shared jokes that are so iconic of the experience of summer camp. But it’s more than simply a cute book.

Each girl comes to camp with a secret and a deeply held belief that the other girls simply can’t or won’t accept her if they find out the truth. For Lauren, the secret is her life at a group home, where going to a fancy camp is impossible. In fact, she’s only attending because she won a scholarship through a contest.

Because this is a once-in-a-lifetime experience for her, Lauren decides to make the weeks at camp the best she’s ever had. She decides the girls will be her best friends for life. As soon as they’re together in the cabin, she plunges through the awkwardness of first meetings and leads the girls into a deep, lasting friendship.

Of course, the inevitable happens: at some point, secrets all come out. Winning the contest to be the face of camp gets jeopardized. And the girls have to decide how strong their newfound friendships are. Strong enough to stand the test of the secrets they keep?

One of my favorite characters was the chef who becomes Lauren’s friend and confidante. I LOVED her, and I really didn’t see where that part of the story was headed until it happened. Which was even better.

In terms of its plot, the story might be a little too neat and tidy, but that fits the summer camp feel and new friendship vibe in THE GIRLS OF FIREFLY CABIN. Fans of CATERPILLAR SUMMER by Gillian McDunn or ELSIE MAE HAS SOMETHING TO SAY by Nancy Cavanaugh will enjoy the outdoor scenes and important relationships in THE GIRLS OF FIREFLY CABIN.

Recommended for Ages8 up.

Representation
Jade’s best friend is Latina.

Profanity/Crude Language Content
None.

Romance/Sexual Content
Brief kissing between a boy and girl.

Spiritual Content
The girls help Jade process her grief over losing her best friend. They hold ceremonies honoring her, and Jade feels that she senses Kiara’s presence all around her in nature.

Violent Content
Some references to bullying. Archer and her sister have a difficult relationship. Archer’s sister plays cruel tricks on her, at one point ruining her artwork. Archer and her friends play pranks on her sister and their friends, too. They do things like putting a fake snake in her shoes.

Drug Content
None.

Note: I received a free copy of this book in exchange for my honest review. This post contains affiliate links which cost you nothing but help support my blog.

Review: Girls with Sharp Sticks by Suzanne Young

Girls with Sharp Sticks
Suzanne Young
Simon Pulse
Publishes March 19, 2019

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About GIRLS WITH SHARP STICKS

The Girls of Innovations Academy are beautiful and well-behaved—it says so on their report cards. Under the watchful gaze of their Guardians, the all-girl boarding school offers an array of studies and activities, from “Growing a Beautiful and Prosperous Garden” to “Art Appreciation” and “Interior Design.” The girls learn to be the best society has to offer. Absent is the difficult math coursework, or the unnecessary sciences or current events. They are obedient young ladies, free from arrogance or defiance. Until Mena starts to realize that their carefully controlled existence may not be quite as it appears.

As Mena and her friends begin to uncover the dark secrets of what’s actually happening there—and who they really are—the girls of Innovations will find out what they are truly capable of. Because some of the prettiest flowers have the sharpest thorns.

My Review

GIRLS WITH SHARP STICKS is the first book by Suzanne Young that I’ve ever read, and now I’m thinking that’s a mistake. I liked her storytelling and the way she gets us inside Mena’s head so much that I really want to read more of her books. I’ve heard great things about The Program series, but I’ve just never read them.

One of the brilliant things about GIRLS WITH SHARP STICKS has to be the way that at the beginning, Mena believes the staff of the academy are looking out for her, that any negative feelings she experiences are because she’s in the wrong. As the story progresses and her understanding changes, her interactions with teachers and staff morph into something sinister and sometimes cruel. The way it’s written makes it feel like Mena’s slowly waking up, slowly realizing things aren’t right. I loved that element.

The only thing that gave me any pause at all is a line from a poem Mena finds and which gives her courage and makes her feel empowered. I loved that it makes her feel empowered and talks about girls who were once oppressed taking ownership of themselves and rising up. But the poem ends with this part about the girls then taking boys hostage and basically doing to them what men had done to them as girls. Having revenge on the next generation.

The thing that bothered me is that revenge element. First, I don’t think revenge really solves anything or is right. But more than that, when I’ve talked to people who oppose the idea of feminism, most often it’s because this is what they perceive or fear the real feminist agenda is: taking revenge on men, oppressing men in some way to make up for the way women were oppressed in the past. (I know that’s not what true feminism is.) Anyway, I guess I worried that people would read just that far in the book and think, hey, this book is advocating for something ugly and wrong, and then walk away thinking this is evidence of the dark feminist agenda creeping into teen fiction. I don’t think the series is going for a revenge-positive message, though. At least, that’s not what I got from the set-up for and hints about the next book revealed in the final chapters of GIRLS WITH SHARP STICKS.

In the context of the story, the poem is kind of foreshadowing in a sense. When Mena first reads the poem, feels like she idolizes this idea of punishing men as a gender. Through the story, though– and I don’t want to spoil anything– it seems as though there are a lot more layers still to come. Let’s say that the academy aren’t the only ones who want to use the girls for an agenda. So I’m withholding my judgment about the poem until I see where the series goes with this idea. I’m pretty intrigued, to be honest. I love when a story explores an idea through a bunch of layers, and it seems like that may be just what we get with this one

GIRLS WITH SHARP STICKS is perfect for fans of GIRL PARTS by John Cusick or UGLIES by Scott Westerfeld.

Recommended for Ages 14 up.

Representation
Two of Mena’s friends (both girls) are in a relationship.

Profanity/Crude Language Content
Extreme profanity used infrequently. Most of the swearing comes from one character, and it’s mostly f-bombs.

Romance/Sexual Content
Mena wonders what it’s like to kiss a boy she likes. She wants to at one point. We see some tender exchanges between Marcella and Bryn, the two girls who are dating. Hand-holding, embracing, that sort of thing.

At one point, one of the girls buys a women’s magazine and they read an article in it about how to please men sexually. Most of the information remains pretty vague. They giggle and tease about whether a certain boy would like “number four” on the list and things like that. At one point, a girl makes a reference to oral sex. Another girl asks why the women’s magazine is about pleasing men instead of about women.

Some of the things the teachers or staff members say and do toward the girls become pretty creepy. They have so much power over the girls. Mena feels terrified at more than one point. Definitely a trigger warning for anyone who’s sensitive to that feeling of panicked helplessness.

Spiritual Content
None.

Violent Content
Some of the staff members become increasingly rough with the girls. One altercation becomes fatal. It’s described in pretty graphic detail.

Drug Content
Staff members give the girls pills every night which they call vitamins. Mena quickly begins to suspect that they’re much more than that. One character poisons others with plants from the garden the girls care for.

Note: I received a free copy of this book in exchange for my honest review. This post contains affiliate links.

Review: It’s Complicated by Laura L. Smith

It’s Complicated
Laura L. Smith
Playlist Fiction
Published March 26, 2013

Amazon | Barnes & Noble | Goodreads

When Claire meets a girl looking for a third and fourth college roommate, she takes a chance and accepts. Sharing a room with Hannah and her friends will be awesome. Hannah is bubbly and bright. Palmer, Hannah’s bestie is looking for friends to fill the gap that will be left when she moves away from her long-time boyfriend. Despite her excitement about being on the college soccer team, Kat is thrilled at the possibility of friends off the field. But just as roomie preparations are finally in place, the unthinkable happens, and one of the girls is raped. How can she face her new friends now? Maybe she’s too soiled to fit in with them anymore.

As the four girls juggle classes, homework, living space and boy interest, they learn they have more in common than they initially thought. And they’ll need all their strengths if they are to band together and help each other through the heartaches and hardships of freshman year at college.

When it comes to dating and relationships issues, author Laura L. Smith doesn’t mess around. Hitting heavy topics like date rape and peer pressure, she remains frank but not intensely graphic. The rape victim asks real questions and endures a grieving process. As the characters face peer pressure, they respond with realistic emotional confliction and growth. The spiritual journey by comparison begins deep for each girl, but doesn’t seem to undergo the same beautiful blossoming as the emotional journey of the girls. Spiritual themes may have been strengthened if the girls began their journeys at more varied levels of spirituality. Over all, this first novel in the Status Updates Series is a warm, fun read about having great girl friends.

Profanity/Crude Language Content
None.

Sexual Content
One of the girls is raped. The scene is brief and only a few graphic details are given. The boyfriend of another girl pressures her to have sex with him. Sexual tension between the two runs high and in a couple scenes, he touches the edges of her underpants before she stops him.

Spiritual Content
Each of the girls is a Christian, but since only two girls have known each other prior to becoming roommates, they don’t at first recognize their shared faith. Once they realize they are four Christians together, they believe God has placed them in each other’s lives to help them work through the issues they each face, particularly issues in their relationships with boys.

Violence
See sexual content.

Drug Content
A boy from the soccer team smokes something outside a coffee shop which leaves him pretty stoned. He justifies this behavior by telling Kat it’s completely legal and nowhere near as bad as some things other players do. Kat isn’t swayed by this argument. There are other brief references to college parties which include alcohol, but no central characters participate.

Note: I received a free copy of this book in exchange for my honest review.

 

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The Fruit of My Lipstick by Shelley Adina

The Fruit of My Lipstick
Shelley Adina
FaithWords
Published August 1, 2008

Amazon | Barnes & Noble | Goodreads

In Gillian Chang’s second term at upscale Spencer Academy boarding school, she feels prepared for everything. Armed with rock-solid faith, good friends and no shortage of smarts, she’s got it all covered. Doesn’t she?

When she begins to fall for Lucas Hayes, a high achieving Stanford PhD hopeful, Gillian finds herself unable to keep up and be the girlfriend he wants. With all the pressure he’s under, it’s no surprise he gets a little short-tempered. Gillian resolves to try harder, but she finds herself isolating from her friends more and more.

Then a scandal emerges, with rumors that Gillian is at the center of it. Even her friends are uncertain of the truth. Gillian has to get to the bottom of it and get herself back on track. But can she do it without losing Lucas?

The Fruit of my Lipstick is the second book in Shelley Adina’s All About Us series about a clan of friends and their adventures at Spencer Academy. In some places the plot seemed a little bit linear, but it’s a fun read, full of pop culture references and spunky characters. Sort of a Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants except girls in boarding school. I enjoyed reading it and recommend the series to fans of Sisterhood, Babysitter’s Club or Laura L. Smith’s Status Updates series.

Profanity/Crude Language Content
No harsh language

Sexual Content
None

Spiritual Content
Gillian and her friends are Christians at a secular academy. They form a prayer circle and try to hold each other accountable in their faith.

Violent Content
Lucas gets rough with Gillian, pushing her a couple of times.

Drug Content
None

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