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Review: This Is Me Trying by Racquel Marie

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This is Me Trying by Racquel Marie

This Is Me Trying
Racquel Marie
Feiwel & Friends
Published

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About This Is Me Trying

Perfect for fans of Nina LaCour, This is Me Trying is a profound and tender YA contemporary novel exploring grief, love, and guilt from author Racquel Marie.

Growing up, Bryce, Beatriz, and Santiago were inseparable. But when Santiago moved away before high school, their friendship crumbled. Three years later, Bryce is gone, Beatriz is known as the dead boy’s girlfriend, and Santiago is back.

The last thing Beatriz wants is to reunite with Santiago, who left all her messages unanswered while she drowned alone in grief over Bryce’s death by suicide. Even if she wasn’t angry, Santiago’s attempts to make amends are jeopardizing her plan to keep the world at arm’s length―equal parts protection and punishment―and she swore to never let anyone try that again.

Santiago is surprised to find the once happy-go-lucky Bea is now the gothic town loner, though he’s unsurprised she wants nothing to do with him. But he can’t fix what he broke between them while still hiding what led him to cut her off in the first place, and it’s harder to run from his past when he isn’t states away anymore.

Inevitably drawn back together by circumstance and history, Beatriz and Santiago navigate grief, love, mental illness, forgiveness, and what it means to try to build a future after unfathomable loss.

My Review

I can’t resist a new book by Racquel Marie, so I knew I would have to read this one. It’s different than her previous two books, both of which had only female narrators. Different doesn’t mean bad, though. I liked both Santiago and Beatriz as narrators. On the surface, this book seems like a simple story, but the author weaves in so many layers that it takes us the whole book to unwind them all.

Both Santi and Bea have complicated relationships with their parents and are raised by one parent. In Santi’s case, his supportive guardian is his grandfather, and his dad flits in and out of his life, pursuing his dream to be a professional musician. Bea’s mom is kind of the opposite. Having a child very young made her curve her life around her daughter and devote herself to making sure Bea had everything she needed.

The elephant in the room, of course, is the death of Santiago’s best friend and Bea’s boyfriend, Bryce. It’s been nearly three years, but those wounds remain fresh for both of them, and they avoid or deal with their grief in different ways.

One of the things I really liked about the book is the descriptions of Bea’s hair, makeup, and clothes. She has a very goth style going on that reminded me of someone I went to school with. I liked that even though the people who know her can see through her prickly exterior and realize that she’s lonely and hurting, they don’t blow through her boundaries. They make their case. They offer. But ultimately, if she asks them to leave her alone, they do.

As the story progresses and the layers unwind, I couldn’t help getting more and more caught up in the story. Grief is hard, even when it’s not as complicated as this. The author does a phenomenal job bringing that complexity to the page and making room to celebrate relationships and beauty as well.

Also: bonus for having an adorable black cat named Lottie to flit in and out of scenes the way cats do! The scenes in which Bea walks her cat with a leash are awesome.

Content Notes

Recommended for Ages 14 up.

Representation
Important characters have depression, anxiety, panic attacks, and intrusive thoughts and behaviors fueled by obsessive-compulsive disorder OCD. Beatriz is biracial, with a Colombian American mom and white dad. Santiago is Latino American. Beatriz identifies as pansexual. Santiago identifies as queer. A couple minor characters are lesbians. One is nonbinary.

Profanity/Crude Language Content
Extreme profanity used somewhat frequently.

Romance/Sexual Content
Kissing between boy and girl. References to kissing between two boys and sex between two girls. References to sex between a boy and girl. (All sex happens off-scene.)

Bea’s mom got pregnant as a teenager. Bea imagines what that life was like and how it impacted her mom’s plans.

Spiritual Content
People gather for a memorial service for a boy who died. Later, someone comments that he is looking down on his friends.

Violent Content
References to a boy who died by suicide (the method is never disclosed). Characters discuss suicidal ideation and morbid ideation. The story focuses on grief from this loss as well as the loss of parents due to a car accident or cancer.

In one scene, a boy behaves in a predatory way toward another person, pursuing them when the person makes it clear they do not want the attention. The person’s friends stop the boy from harassing them.

A boy and girl (minor characters) have an emotionally abusive relationship operating around the fringes of the story.

A girl hurts her hand punching a boy.

Drug Content
Teens drink alcohol at a party. A drunk boy calls a girl to give him a ride home. Some characters smoke.

Note: This post contains affiliate links, which do not cost you anything to use but help support this blog. I received a free copy of this book in exchange for my honest review. All opinions are my own.

Review: Dragonfruit by Makiia Lucier

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Dragonfruit
Makiia Lucier
Clarion Books
Published April 9, 2024

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About Dragonfruit

From acclaimed author Makiia Lucier, a dazzling, romantic fantasy inspired by Pacific Island mythology.

In the old tales, it is written that the egg of a seadragon, dragonfruit, holds within it the power to undo a person’s greatest sorrow. An unwanted marriage, a painful illness, and unpaid debt … gone. But as with all things that promise the moon and the stars and offer hope when hope has gone, the tale comes with a warning.

Every wish demands a price.

Hanalei of Tamarind is the cherished daughter of an old island family. But when her father steals a seadragon egg meant for an ailing princess, she is forced into a life of exile. In the years that follow, Hanalei finds solace in studying the majestic seadragons that roam the Nominomi Sea. Until, one day, an encounter with a female dragon offers her what she desires most. A chance to return home, and to right a terrible wrong.

Samahtitamahenele, Sam, is the last remaining prince of Tamarind. But he can never inherit the throne, for Tamarind is a matriarchal society. With his mother ill and his grandmother nearing the end of her reign. Sam is left with two choices: to marry, or to find a cure for the sickness that has plagued his mother for ten long years. When a childhood companion returns from exile, she brings with her something he has not felt in a very long time – hope.

But Hanalei and Sam are not the only ones searching for the dragonfruit. And as they battle enemies both near and far, there is another danger they cannot escape…that of the dragonfruit itself.

My Review

I got lost in the world-building of this book– in only the best ways. The author perfectly balances the politics, traditions, and historical information of the setting, offering enough information to anchor the story in a specific, memorable place without distracting from the characters or plot of the story.

The chapters (and sometimes scenes within a chapter) alternate between Hanalei’s and Sam’s points of view. Both characters have distinct voices, so I never lost track of whose point of view I was in. I loved both characters pretty quickly. She has a complicated past and a lot of shame and grief, but she also has a pure love for seadragons. Sam feels the pressure of his position as a prince in a matriarchal society (a refreshing plight for a young male character), knowing a marital alliance would strengthen and protect his people, but holding out hope that he could marry for love instead of politics.

I like that the minor characters also have key roles, and in those, the author also demonstrates some pretty great balancing skills. I had no trouble keeping track of who each character was (not always easy with as many named characters as there are in DRAGONFRUIT), and these secondary characters contributed without stealing the scene or pulling the reader away from the central part of the story.

So much happens in this book. Adventures at sea with a dangerous dragon-hunting captain and his crew. Rescue attempts for a princess trapped in a poisoned sleep. Magic, mythology, and a splash of romance. DRAGONFRUIT has a lot to offer fantasy readers.

Readers who enjoyed SHADOW AND BONE by Leigh Bardugo, or FOREST OF SOULS by Lori M. Lee will want to put this one on their reading lists immediately.

Content Notes

Recommended for Ages 14 up.

Representation
Inspired by Pacific Island mythology and set among islands.

Profanity/Crude Language Content
One instance of mild profanity used.

Romance/Sexual Content
Kissing between boy and girl.

Spiritual Content
Several gods and goddesses mentioned. When someone uses a dragon egg to revive a dying person, terrible tragedies occur, and people believe this may represent vengeance by the god of the dragons for taking something sacred. More than one character questions whether the gods listen or can hear prayers or walk among them.

Some characters have a special mark. It’s a tattoo that appears on their bodies and moves over their skin. The mark can take physical form and serve as a helper to its host.

Violent Content
This isn’t actually violence, though this character does function as a weapon in one scene, but the queen has a tattoo of a spider on her body that moves and comes alive. If you’ve got spider fears, be aware.

Battle violence and situations of peril. One character uses children as labor, hostages, and sacrifices. Dragons are harmed on-scene in the book. Another animal is harmed off-scene.

Drug Content
Several characters are poisoned.

Note: This post contains affiliate links, which do not cost you anything to use but help support this blog. I received a free copy of this book in exchange for my honest review. All opinions are my own.

Review: The Misdirection of Fault Lines by Anna Gracia

Book Review and Content, Contemporary, Young Adult/Teen 12-18, , , , , , ,

The Misdirection of Fault Lines
Anna Gracia
Peachtree Teen
Published April 2, 2024

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About The Misdirection of Fault Lines

Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants goes to the US Open in an emotionally honest and openhearted novel for fans of Yamile Saied Méndez and Jenny Han.

Three teen girls compete at an elite tennis tournament for a shot at their dreams—if only they knew what their dreams were.

Alice doesn’t belong at the Bastille Invitational Tennis Tournament. She needed a sponsorship to attend. She only has a few wins on the junior circuit. And now, she has no coach. Tennis was a dream she shared with Ba. After his death, her family insisted she compete anyway. But does tennis even fit into her life without him?

Violetta is Bastille’s darling. Social media influencer, coach’s pet, and daughter of a former tennis star who fell from grace. Bastille is her chance to reclaim the future her mother gave up to raise her. But is that the future she wants for herself?

Leylah has to win. After a forced two-year hiatus, Bastille is her last chance to prove professional tennis isn’t just a viable career, it’s what she was built for. She can’t afford distractions. Not in the form of her ex-best friend and especially not by getting DQ-ed for her “attitude” before she even sets foot on the court. If she doesn’t win, what future does she have left?

One week at the Bastille Invitational Tennis Tournament will decide their fates. If only the competition between them stayed on the court.

THE MISDIRECTION OF FAULT LINES is an incisive coming-of-age story infused with wit and wisdom, about three Asian American teen girls who find their ways forward, backward, and in some cases, back to each other again. Anna Gracia, acclaimed author of BOYS I KNOW, delivers with a refreshingly true-to-life teen voice that perfectly captures the messiness, awkwardness, and confusion of adolescence.

My Review

I read and enjoyed Gracia’s debut, BOYS I KNOW, last year, so when I saw this book coming out this year, I knew I needed to read it. I love the frankness in the way this author writes. It makes her characters seem so real.

In this book, the story follows three separate points of view: Alice, Violetta, and Leylah. All three girls have come to the Bastille Invitational Tennis Tournament with different baggage, and they’re not all even sure they want to win. They wind up as roommates and unlikely friends as the competition heats up, and they each face unexpected challenges and truths they weren’t ready to admit.

I am not at all familiar with tennis as a sport, so there were some spots where the jargon went over my head. I don’t understand the points system or some of the rules of the game, so I didn’t always follow what was going on with those elements. However, it didn’t hinder my ability to enjoy the book. If there had been a glossary of sports terms or an explanation of the points system, I would have checked it out, but I wasn’t confused enough even to internet search beyond a couple of things. For the most part, it was fine.

My favorite part was the way the girls’ friendships developed. Because they’re there to compete with one another, they’re not immediately inclined to become friends. In fact, Violetta and Leylah have some unresolved, painful history. But as the girls do get to know one another and realize how lonely they are, they begin to form tenuous connections with one another that could become the kinds of friendships that change lives, if the girls can learn to be vulnerable again.

In some ways, this is a story that wrestles with different kinds of grief. The grief of loneliness, loss, failure, and letting go. It’s also about the triumph of finding true friendship, what it truly means to win, and finally speaking up for yourself.

Fans of sports books and books celebrating friendship need to check this one out.

Content Notes

Recommended for Ages 14 up.

Representation
The three main characters are Asian American.

Profanity/Crude Language Content
Extreme profanity used somewhat frequently.

Romance/Sexual Content
Kissing between a boy and girl.

Some grooming behaviors by an adult male coach toward a teenage girl.

Spiritual Content
None.

Violent Content
A couple of people get injured playing or practicing tennis. There are some racist comments or implied racist statements made against the main characters. One character purposefully knocks into two people after the’ve made racist insinuations about another character. One character eats and purges several times. She resists recognizing this as disordered eating.

Drug Content
One character smokes pot a lot. Others do it infrequently. In one scene, a girl gets very high and behaves in ways she feels embarrassed about later.

Note: This post contains affiliate links, which do not cost you anything to use but help support this blog. I received a free copy of this book in exchange for my honest review. All opinions are my own.

Nightmares in Paradise by Aden Polydoros

Book Review and Content, Fantasy, Middle Grade 8-12, , , , , , ,

Nightmares in Paradise (Ring of Solomon #2)
Aden Polydoros
Inkyard Press
Published April 2, 2024

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About Nightmares in Paradise

Zach Darlington saved the world from total apocalypse and all he got was grounded. He’s not even allowed to watch his favorite horror movies anymore, and now his parents want to ship him off to boarding school!

But before Zach can talk some sense into his parents, his little sister, Naomi, lands in an unexplainable coma. Zach’s friend Ash (yep, Zach and the King of Demons are friends now) knows this was the work of Ash’s eternal nemesis, the Archangel Uriel. And the only way to revive Naomi is with the fruit from the Tree of Life. Yeah, that tree. Like, from the actual Garden of Eden .

Zach and his friends will have to face terrifying angels, monsters, and a serpent to get to the tree and save Naomi’s life. He just hopes he won’t be grounded till the end of time if they ever make it back.

My Review

I’m a little late to this series (I haven’t read the first book), but I loved WRATH BECOMES HER by Aden Polydoros. WRATH is an immersive, dark YA novel, so when I learned that the author also writes middle grade, I had to check it out. I couldn’t imagine a middle grade book in the same writing style as the young adult book I’d read. NIGHTMARES IN PARADISE is written in a completely different style than the YA novel I read, which is great, and shows the incredible range of this author.

I love that this is a fantasy series based on Jewish mythology. It’s such a cool idea. I also love that the book includes the relationship between an older brother and a younger sister. Their relationship feels very real. There’s some sweetness but lots of frustration as they navigate their relationship.

Zach has a little bit of an attitude, but it’s balanced by his fears and worries about his identity as a gay boy. He deals with a bully at school and the knowledge that the world nearly ended, something hardly anyone knows and he really can’t tell anyone about. So, he’s a pretty complex guy.

The pacing was the only thing that I found a little bit challenging. It might be that I just expected something different from the plot based on the back cover copy, or maybe I missed something somewhere in the book. It seemed like the middle ran a bit long, and the end of the story happened very fast. I also couldn’t tell if the ending concludes the series? The description of the first book in the series calls it a trilogy, but I wonder if, because Inkyard Press has closed, maybe the Ring of Solomon series has become a duology? I guess we’ll find out!

Content Notes

Recommended for Ages 8 to 12.

Representation
Zach and his family are Jewish. Zach is also gay. His best friend is Ecuadorean American.

Profanity/Crude Language Content
A boy bullies another boy because he’s gay.

Romance/Sexual Content
Reference to a couple who used to date one another.

Spiritual Content
Zach’s family celebrates Passover. A relative asks him if he would like to have a Bar Mitzvah. Uses Jewish mythology. Some spiritual characters, like angels and the king of demons.

Violent Content
Situations of peril. References to battles with a sword that bursts into flames. Some monstrous creatures, such as a giant worm that eats stone. References to the creation story in the Garden of Eden.

Drug Content
None.

Note: This post contains affiliate links, which do not cost you anything to use but help support this blog. I received a free copy of this book in exchange for my honest review. All opinions are my own.

Marvelous Middle-Grade Mondays

I’m sharing this post as a part of a weekly round-up of middle-grade posts called Marvelous Middle-Grade Mondays. Check out other blogs posting about middle-grade books today on Marvelous Middle-Grade Mondays at Always in the Middle with Greg Pattridge.

Review: Three Summers by Amra Sabic-El-Rayess with Laura L. Sullivan

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Three Summers: A Memoir of Sisterhood, Summer Crushes, and Growing Up on the Eve of War
Amra Sabic-El-Rayess with Laura L. Sullivan
Farrar, Straus, & Giroux
Published April 9, 2024

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About Three Summers

An epic middle-grade memoir about sisterhood and coming-of-age in the three years leading up to the Bosnian Genocide.

Three Summers is the story of five young cousins who grow closer than sisters as ethnic tensions escalate over three summers in 1980s Bosnia. They navigate the joys and pitfalls of adolescence on their family’s little island in the middle of the Una River. When finally confronted with the harsh truths of the adult world around them, their bond gives them the resilience to discover and hold fast to their true selves.

Written with incredible warmth and tenderness, Amra Sabic-El-Rayess takes readers on a journey that will break their hearts and put them back together again.

My Review

This memoir is broken into three sections, one for each of the summers Amra spends with her cousins. Before that first summer, her family experiences a terrible loss, and Amra sinks into a dark depression. As she gets to know her cousins, she begins to have hope again, confidence in herself, and the courage to form friendships with others.

Her love for her family is so clear in the pages of the book. It celebrates familial bonds, especially those between a child and their parents, and the bonds between siblings and cousins.

This is the first book I’ve ever read about the Bosnian Genocide, though it isn’t the author’s first memoir about that time. After reading this book, I ordered a copy of her YA memoir, THE CAT I NEVER NAMED, so hopefully I’ll be ready to share my review of that book soon, too.

Technically, this book focuses on the years leading up to the genocide, in which the government becomes more and more hostile, one slow step at a time. I’m not gonna lie; it is harrowing to read a story like this and see parallels in some of the dehumanizing rhetoric certain political leaders are using right now.

Those comments make stories like this critically important because we need to remember that genocide doesn’t begin with the targeted deaths of a group of people. It begins with the systematic dehumanization of them.

I’m so glad Sabic-El-Rayess continues to write about her experiences in a way that kids can read about. The scenes in this book stay focused on Amra’s experience as a child, looking through her eyes. This is an important book, especially now. I hope that many people will discover and read it.

Content Notes

Recommended for Ages 8 to 12.

Representation
Amra and her family are Muslim. Amra’s older brother has Marfan syndrome.

Profanity/Crude Language Content
None.

Romance/Sexual Content
Kissing between boy and girl.

Spiritual Content
References to different faith practices of different groups around Amra.

Violent Content
Death of a sibling on scene. References to Islamaphobia. References to torture and execution.

Drug Content
One teen character smokes cigarettes.

Note: This post contains affiliate links, which do not cost you anything to use but help support this blog. I received a free copy of this book in exchange for my honest review. All opinions are my own.

Review: Where Sleeping Girls Lie by Faridah Àbíké-Íyímídé

Book Review and Content, Contemporary, Mystery/Suspense/Thriller, Young Adult/Teen 12-18, , , , , , , , , ,

Where Sleeping Girls Lie
Faridah Àbíké-Íyímídé
Feiwel & Friends
Published March 19, 2024

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About Where Sleeping Girls Lie

In Where Sleeping Girls Lie — a YA contemporary mystery by Faridah Àbíké-Íyímídé, the New York Times-bestselling author of Ace of Spades — a girl new to boarding school discovers dark secrets and coverups after her roommate disappears.

It’s like I keep stumbling into a dark room, searching for the switch to make things bright again…

Sade Hussein is starting her third year of high school, this time at the prestigious Alfred Nobel Academy boarding school, after being home-schooled all her life. Misfortune has clung to her seemingly since birth, but even she doesn’t expect her new roommate, Elizabeth, to disappear after Sade’s first night. Or for people to think Sade had something to do with it.

With rumors swirling around her, Sade catches the attention of the girls collectively known as the ‘Unholy Trinity’ and they bring her into their fold. Between learning more about them—especially Persephone, who Sade is inexplicably drawn to—and playing catchup in class, Sade already has so much on her plate. But when it seems people don’t care enough about what happened to Elizabeth, it’s up to she and Elizabeth’s best friend, Baz, to investigate.

My Review

I really appreciated the author’s note at the front of the ARC of this book. It explains some of the author’s goals in writing the story, from characters living beyond their trauma to celebrating platonic friendships to talking about feeling unseen and unheard as a person of color at a private, white institution.

There’s no doubt in my mind that Àbíké-Íyímídé is a brilliant writer. In some of the scenes in this book, you could cut the tension with a knife. The characters feel so real, from the soft, sweet goofy ones, to the powerful, sinister ones.

I worked my way through this book slowly because of the heavier content. One thing I appreciated is that it doesn’t show graphic details of people being harmed. We understand what has happened. It’s jarring. Shocking. But the person involved retains her privacy. As someone who really struggled with stories like this, I appreciated that.

The book doesn’t have a neat, tidy ending either. I also appreciated that. Real life is messy. Complicated. Recovery is messy and complicated. The book makes space for that and allows the characters to celebrate in some ways while acknowledging the mountains yet to be climbed and wrongs yet to be righted.

All in all, I’d call this a haunting tale told with great care for its readers. Those looking for an unflinching story examining the fallout of unchecked toxic masculinity will find it here.

Content Notes

Recommended for Ages 16 up.

Representation
Sade is Black, Muslim, and queer. A couple other characters are queer as well. Other characters in the book are BIPOC.

Profanity/Crude Language Content
Extreme profanity used somewhat infrequently.

Romance/Sexual Content
References to sexual assault. Descriptions are unsettling but not graphic, focusing on details aside from the assault itself. Kissing between two girls.

Spiritual Content
Sade does not drink alcohol as part of her faith practice.

Violent Content
References to assault and murder. Sade sees a dead girl in the water when she closes her eyes. Late in the book, a few quick scenes show people fighting. A boy attacks a girl.

See spoiler section below for some darker content.

Drug Content
Teens drink alcohol at a few parties and gatherings. Sade does not drink because of her religious practice. Someone gives drugs to other students without their knowledge or consent.

Note: This post contains affiliate links, which do not cost you anything to use but help support this blog. I received a free copy of this book in exchange for my honest review. All opinions are my own.

Spoilers

Violence
A group of boys uses a private chat channel to share private sexual images of and videos of girls. Some of these were collected without the girl’s consent. At least one member of the group assaults multiple girls (mostly happens off-scene). Several adults appear to cover up the boys’ bad behavior.