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If We Were Having Coffee – Spring 2022 Update

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If We Were Coffee 2022

If We Were Having Coffee – Spring 2022 Update

I first saw Jamie at Perpetual Page Turner do an If We Were Having Coffee post in 2019, which is an idea she got from a life coach. Since then, I’ve been doing them periodically. Lately, it looks like I’m settling into a spring/fall routine. So, here’s my If We Were Having Coffee Spring 2022 update!

If we were having coffee…

I would tell you that I just finished reading THIS REBEL HEART by Katherine Locke. It’s fantastic and also kind of brutal– not the story itself. It’s not particularly violent or anything. Maybe emotionally raw is a better descriptor? Either way, I loved it, but I read it kind of slowly, which is unusual for me. It felt like the right pace for me to read it, though. I posed my review yesterday, so it’s up if you want to find out more.

I’m also currently listening to NONVIOLENT COMMUNICATION by Marshall B. Rosenberg, which was recommended to me by more than one friend. Right now, I’m only about 25% of the way through the book, and I feel like it’s one I’ll need to listen to more than once to really absorb the whole message. I’m really intrigued so far, and I want to give myself a trial period and see how practicing nonviolent communication effects relationships for me. I’m not sure that it’s something I’ll adopt as an overall communication strategy, but we’ll see after I’ve read the whole of the book.

If we were having coffee…

I’d want to talk about hard things. I was reading a thread on Twitter in which tons of women shared their experiences with miscarriages, and many commented on how we don’t talk about this experience enough. And that’s so true.

When I’ve talked about my own miscarriages, it seems like often people don’t know what to say, and I want to respect that, but it can be really painful because it feels like this unspoken cue to stop talking about it. It feels like they’re uncomfortable and I can fix that by stopping talking.

We’ve all been in conversations that have a weight to them that we don’t understand, where we feel like we need to say something but have zero idea what the right thing might be. I hate those, too. It can feel like waking up in a minefield and having no idea how to get to safe space again.

If we were having coffee…

If we talked about miscarriages, I’d want to tell you what it was like for me.

I was talking about my miscarriage experiences to a friend last week and this was the explanation that clicked with him. I told him it’s like being betrayed by your body in a deeply painful way. Pregnancy is this process your body is supposed to be able to do all on its own. It’s supposed to protect, nurture, and care for the budding person inside you the way you will care for and protect the baby once they’re born. And instead, it kills your baby. Without your permission or consent. You can literally do nothing to stop this thing from happening. And it’s happening inside your body, so there’s no place to retreat from it.

Also, our healthcare system? Really freaking terrible at handling miscarriages. I couldn’t get one of the medications my doctor wanted to prescribe me. Another wasn’t covered by my insurance at all. At one point I was in the ER, and let me simply say that is NOT a place anyone should experience a miscarriage. Someone in the thread I was reading used the term “undignified,” and yeah. I can honestly say that I’ve NEVER felt more like an object in a petri dish and less like a human being in my life than I did that night.

Everyone’s experience is different. I really, really wanted a baby. So, for me, the grief was very focused on the loss of that person who I was already imagining to be a part of my life and the failure of my body to protect that person.

If we were having coffee…

I’d want to tell you I’m grateful that you’re listening. Grateful that you’re here. The last few years have been really isolating for a lot of us. I’m proud of the ways we’ve found to stay connected. For me, some of this has been through online contact. I have a friend who lives far away, but checks in with me every day or so on my phone to talk about family stuff and bookish or writing stuff. She’s amazing. I’d be lost without her.

Some of it has been outdoor get-togethers, and some indoor get-togethers. I have a friend who meets me for coffee outside (and now sometimes inside!) almost every week since the early COVID days. She’s also a mom, so we talk a lot about the challenges of raising kids. We compare notes on the sometimes impossibility of remembering who you are outside of being that caretaker/chief cook/cruise director. I’d be lost without her, too. She’s awesome.

There are new friends, too. New jokes. New experiences. Lots to look forward to. I’m grateful for all those relationships and moments, too, in life and on here!

If we were having coffee, what would you want to tell me?

What’s on your mind today that you want to share with me? Have you recently read anything you love? Have you had experiences with grief that you wish other people better understood?

Thanks for catching up with me. I appreciate you. <3

Review: This Rebel Heart by Katherine Locke

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This Rebel Heart
Katherine Locke
Knopf Books for Young Readers
Published April 5, 2022

Amazon | Bookshop | Goodreads

About This Rebel Heart

A tale set amid the 1956 Hungarian revolution in post-WWII Communist Budapest.

In the middle of Budapest, there is a river. Csilla knows the river is magic. During WWII, the river kept her family safe when they needed it most–safe from the Holocaust. But that was before the Communists seized power. Before her parents were murdered by the Soviet police. Before Csilla knew things about her father’s legacy that she wishes she could forget.

Now Csilla keeps her head down, planning her escape from this country that has never loved her the way she loves it. But her carefully laid plans fall to pieces when her parents are unexpectedly, publicly exonerated. As the protests in other countries spur talk of a larger revolution in Hungary, Csilla must decide if she believes in the promise and magic of her deeply flawed country enough to risk her life to help save it, or if she should let it burn to the ground.

My Review of This Rebel Heart

The author’s note at the beginning of the book warns that Hungary’s revolution does not end in victory, so I felt like I read this entire book holding my breath, waiting for that shoe to drop. Which wasn’t a negative for me– just added a lot of intensity.

Csilla was my favorite character, but I loved the other characters, too. I loved the way that magic is woven into the story through Csilla’s relationship with the river. The way that color (or a lack of it) is used in the story, too, is really powerful and cool.

The way the story is written completely captivated me. I felt like I couldn’t stop reading, and like so many of the scenes were just aching– achingly beautiful or haunting or tragic. I feel like it struck something in me really deeply, a kind of connection with a book that I haven’t felt since reading THE BOOK THIEF years ago, where it made me want to call people and read them pages of the story.

I’m trying not to buy any new books right now because SHELF SPACE, but I really want a hard copy of this one. THIS REBEL HEART is the first book I’ve read by Katherine Locke, but obviously I need to read all their other books immediately. I absolutely loved it.

I think readers who enjoyed THE GIRL IN THE BLUE COAT by Monica Hesse or books by Ruta Sepetys would love THIS REBEL HEART.

Content Notes for This Rebel Heart

Recommended for Ages 14 up.

Representation
Csilla is Jewish. Other characters are gay or bisexual.

Profanity/Crude Language Content
Extreme profanity used very infrequently.

Romance/Sexual Content
Reference to a kiss between two men. Kissing between two boys. Kissing between a boy and girl. Two boys and a girl are in a romantic relationship together.

Spiritual Content
References to Jewish holidays and practices. One character is an angel of death.

Violent Content
References to genocide, some brief graphic references to death in gas chambers. References to torture and suicide. Brief description as a mob beats a young man to death. Soldiers shoot into a crowd of protestors, killing someone. Some battle violence and other situations of peril.

Drug Content
Characters drink socially at a community dance.

Note: This post contains affiliate links, which do not cost you anything to use, but which help support this blog. I received a free copy of THIS REBEL HEART in exchange for my honest review.

Review: She Gets the Girl by Rachel Lippincott and Alyson Derrick

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She Gets the Girl
Rachel Lippincott and Alyson Derrick
Simon & Schuster Books for Young Readers
Published April 5, 2022

Amazon | Bookshop | Goodreads

About She Gets the Girl

Alex Blackwood is a little bit headstrong, with a dash of chaos and a whole lot of flirt. She knows how to get the girl. Keeping her on the other hand…not so much. Molly Parker has everything in her life totally in control, except for her complete awkwardness with just about anyone besides her mom. She knows she’s in love with the impossibly cool Cora Myers. She just…hasn’t actually talked to her yet.

Alex and Molly don’t belong on the same planet, let alone the same college campus. But when Alex, fresh off a bad (but hopefully not permanent) breakup, discovers Molly’s hidden crush as their paths cross the night before classes start, they realize they might have a common interest after all. Because maybe if Alex volunteers to help Molly learn how to get her dream girl to fall for her, she can prove to her ex that she’s not a selfish flirt. That she’s ready for an actual commitment. And while Alex is the last person Molly would ever think she could trust, she can’t deny Alex knows what she’s doing with girls, unlike her.

As the two embark on their five-step plans to get their girls to fall for them, though, they both begin to wonder if maybe they’re the ones falling…for each other.

My Review

This one started a teeny bit rough for me. I don’t know if it was the writing or the fact that I’d just read two other books in which a parent was an alcoholic, so I was kind of worn out on that idea? It didn’t feel quite authentic in those opening chapters, but maybe that’s because at that point, Alex was her most inauthentic self.

At any rate, once I was three or so chapters into the book, I felt like things smoothed out and I started to really like both Molly and Alex a lot. I loved watching their friendship develop and watching Molly find her confidence and Alex find the ability to open up and let herself genuinely care about someone.

One of the things I think SHE GETS THE GIRL does really well is deliver complicated relationships. Natalie isn’t the perfect girlfriend, so Alex’s goal of reuniting with her isn’t as simple as it looks, and I found I had a lot of feelings about that, in a good way. I also thought the relationship between Alex and her mom was well done. At first I thought it would be kind of one-dimensional, but I liked that Alex began to unpack her feelings about her relationship with her mom and how she was responding to her mom’s behavior.

Molly also had a complex relationship with her mom. I felt like there was a good balance there, too, of giving enough time and space in the story to bring up some of those issues without it dominating or taking over the whole book.

On the whole, I can say this wife-wife duo delivered exactly the sweet romance I was looking for. I really enjoyed this one and would definitely recommend it.

Content Notes

Recommended for Ages 12 up.

Representation
Molly is half Korean American. Both she and Alex are self-described lesbians.

Profanity/Crude Language Content
Extreme profanity used somewhat infrequently.

Romance/Sexual Content
Kissing between two girls. References to sex between two girls.

Spiritual Content
None.

Violent Content
Molly tries out for a rugby club and gets flattened when another girl tackles her.

Drug Content
Molly attends a party where people are drinking alcohol. Alex and Natalie get drunk after a show. Alex’s mom is an alcoholic.

Note: This post contains affiliate links, which do not cost you anything to use, but which help support this blog. I received a free copy of SHE GETS THE GIRL in exchange for my honest review.

Review: Year on Fire by Julie Buxbaum

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Year on Fire
Julie Buxbaum
Delacorte Press
Published April 5, 2022

Amazon | Bookshop | Goodreads

About Year on Fire

Can a single kiss change everything?

It was a year on fire. They fell in love. Someone was bound to get burned.

The Spark: Just days before the start of junior year for twins Arch and Immie and their best friend, Paige, a spontaneous kiss shakes the very foundation of their friendship. But some ties run too deep to be broken by accidental betrayal.

The Fuel: Enter Rohan, new to Wood Valley High by way of London, who walks into school on the first day completely overwhelmed by his sudden move halfway around the world. When Paige calls dibs on him—he’s too cute to ignore—Immie is in no position to argue, certainly not after taking the fall for the disloyal kiss. Too bad for Immie that Ro feels like the best kind of familiar.

The Kindling: Former lab partners Arch and Jackson, Paige’s ex-boyfriend, have never considered themselves more than friends. But sometimes feelings can grow like wildfire.

The Flames: When the girls’ bathroom at Wood Valley is set ablaze, no one doubts it’s arson. But in this bastion of privilege, who’d be angry enough to want to burn down the school? Answer: pretty much everyone.

YEAR ON FIRE explores the blinding power of the lies we tell others and those we tell ourselves, the tight grip of family secrets, the magic of first love, and the grounding beauty of friendship.

My Review

I loved this book for its complicated relationships, the unspoken fears, the drama of falling in love unexpectedly, and the celebration of the close bond of siblings. The writing also swept me away. It’s lyrical and gorgeous and there were so many lines I wanted to sit and savor.

I can’t even choose a favorite character because I liked them all. Ha. I loved the way that Arch and Immie related to each other. It was so comforting to them when they were on the same page about something and so frightening when they weren’t. I was captivated by Ro’s feelings about his parents and the uncertainty of their future as well as feeling helpless and like he had no say in moving to Los Angeles from London.

The whole story sort of circles around fires at school and rumors about who set them. I liked the way that plot slowly unspooled in the midst of all the friendship drama and tension. I felt like it was paced really well– this was a book that I read in two sittings but would have read in one if I hadn’t started the first few chapters at midnight the night before I finished it.

All in all, I think fans of WE WERE LIARS by E. Lockhart or WE ARE THE GOLDENS by Dana Reinhardt will love this book.

Content Notes

Recommended for Ages 12 up.

Representation
YEAR ON FIRE is told from four points of view: Immie and Arch are twins. Arch is gay. Paige is “three quarters Jewish American and a quarter Chinese American.” Rohan is from England and is maybe Indian.

Profanity/Crude Language Content
Mild profanity used infrequently.

Romance/Sexual Content
Kissing between two boys. Kissing between a girl and boy.

Spiritual Content
None.

Violent Content
Someone starts several fires at school. Arch and Immie’s dad becomes violently angry at home.

Drug Content
References to teens drinking alcohol.

Note: This post contains affiliate links, which do not cost you anything to use, but which help support this blog. I received a free copy of YEAR ON FIRE in exchange for my honest review.

Review: Wrecked by Heather Henson

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Wrecked
Heather Henson
Atheneum/Caitlyn Dlouhy Books
Published on March 22, 2022

Amazon | Bookshop | Goodreads

About Wrecked

For as long as Miri can remember it’s been her and her dad, Poe, in Paradise—what Poe calls their home, hidden away from prying eyes in rural Kentucky. It’s not like Miri doesn’t know what her dad does or why people call him “the Wizard.” It’s not like she doesn’t know why Cal, her one friend and Poe’s right-hand man, patrols the grounds with a machine gun. Nothing new, but lately Paradise has started to feel more like a prison.

Enter Fen. The new kid in town could prove to be exactly the distraction Miri needs…but nothing is ever simple. Poe doesn’t take kindly to strangers. Fen’s DEA agent father is a little too interested in Miri’s family. And Cal isn’t satisfied with being just friends with Miri anymore. But what’s past is prologue—it’s what will follow that will wreck everything.

Shining a klieg light on the opioid crisis coursing through this country, WRECKED will have readers on the edge of their seat right up until the explosive ending.

My Review

First, let me say that this book is an incredible, wild ride. I love Fen and Miri! Clay broke my heart. For a short book (272 pages) it packs a huge punch in emotions and action.

So I’m not generally the biggest insta-love fan, but I think the whole, “Fen and Miri have just met, but they share this instant connection” actually worked for me in this book. In part it worked because it felt like an emotional connection between outcasts and oddballs, not a connection based on their physical attraction for each other. It wasn’t even overtly romantic at first. That definitely hooked me.

The secrets Miri keeps are huge. Just being friends with Fen could blow her whole life apart. Fen is used to people’s eyes glazing over when he tries to explain his love for his soundscapes, so he’s kind of given up on anyone understanding him, ever, when he meets Miri.

The third POV character is Clay, a boy in love with Miri. A childhood friend of hers who has been brought into the family by Miri’s dad. I liked his character, too. He has such a tragic past. He’s fiercely loyal to Miri and her family. He needs to be recognized as valuable to someone.

All that comes together in a high-intensity story set just outside a meth lab. I’m a little confused because the cover copy talks about this story bringing attention to the opioid epidemic, but I didn’t think meth was an opiate? I thought it was a stimulant? So I don’t know if it’s been reclassified (a quick google search seems to indicate no?) or if that’s kind of a marketing thing. Connect the book to the opioid crisis because it’s higher profile right now than meth addiction? I don’t know.

Conclusion

All in all, I enjoyed the story and read it really quickly. I didn’t want to stop because it felt like all the dominoes were always about to fall. I think fans of books by Ellen Hopkins will like the gritty writing (though this isn’t written in verse) and the gripping characters.

Content Notes

Recommended for Ages 14 up.

Representation
Major characters are white.

Profanity/Crude Language Content
Extreme profanity used somewhat frequently.

Romance/Sexual Content
Kissing between boy and girl. At one point they both take tops off.

Spiritual Content
None.

Violent Content
More than once a boy is threatened at gunpoint. A boy walks into a burning building because his friends are inside.

Drug Content
Several characters abuse crystal meth and/or drink alcohol.

Note: This post contains affiliate links, which do not cost you anything to use, but which help support this blog. I received a free copy of WRECKED in exchange for my honest review.

Review: The Summer We Forgot by Caroline George

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The Summer We Forgot
Caroline George
Thomas Nelson Publishing
Published March 8, 2022

Amazon | Bookshop | Goodreads

About The Summer We Forgot

Some memories are better left forgotten.

Darby and Morgan haven’t spoken for two years, and their friend group has splintered. But when the body of their former science teacher is found in the marsh where they attended camp that summer, they realize they have more questions than answers . . . and even fewer memories.

No one remembers—or no one is talking.

The group of reunited friends begins to suspect that a murderer is stalking the coastal highway 30A, and they must try to recover their memories as quickly as possible . . . before the history they can’t remember repeats itself.

Everyone has a secret.

As tensions rise and time runs out, Darby and Morgan begin to wonder if they can believe one another… or if they can even trust themselves.

Caroline George once again transports readers with lush, evocative prose, leading them to ask the question: what happens when we can’t even trust ourselves?

My Review

Going in, this book reminded me of something in the realm of R. L. Stine books. I liked the small beach town and all the descriptions of how things smelled and felt. That made me feel really present in the story.

The simmering romance between Darby and Morgan was also really well done. I liked that it drove the story forward, though a couple times I was like omg, figure this out already, guys! Haha. Looking back I feel like it was pretty well done, though.

I think one of my pet peeves with mystery/suspense books is when adults do all the heavy lifting and kids solve the mystery in conversations with them. There were a couple of moments in the book where I would have liked to see Darby and Morgan play a more active role in collecting clues and piecing things together. They did make some major moves, though, so all the solving didn’t happen in dialogue.

I also thought the cast of friends was kind of big. There were a couple characters that I kept getting confused, and I wonder if it would have been better to combine two of them?

On the whole, though, I felt like the dynamics between the members of the group felt pretty realistic. I enjoyed reading the banter between them and the goofy things they did together.

All in all, I think this book was enjoyable. I think fans of ONE OF US IS LYING by Karen McManus will enjoy the murder mystery and friend dynamics of the book.

Content Notes for The Summer We Forgot

Recommended for Ages 12 up.

Representation
Major characters are white.

Profanity/Crude Language Content
None.

Romance/Sexual Content
Kissing between boy and girl.

Spiritual Content
None.

Violent Content
A teacher’s body is found in a march and police begin a murder investigation. Someone appears to be following Darby and her friends. Darby has a traumatic memory of her brother holding her underwater when she was ten years old. A masked person attacks two boys, beating them up. Another person throws a girl into the trunk of a car. Someone jumps from a moving vehicle, injuring themselves.

Drug Content
Teens consume alcohol at a party in several scenes. Reference to smoking pot.

Note: This post contains affiliate links, which do not cost you anything to use, but which help support this blog. I received a free copy of THE SUMMER WE FORGOT in exchange for my honest review.