Tag Archives: suspense

Review: It’s Only a Game by Kelsey Yu

It's Only a Game by Kelsea Yu

It’s Only a Game
Kelsey Yu
Bloomsbury YA
Published July 9, 2024

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About It’s Only a Game

In this twisty, fast-paced YA thriller, a dangerous game becomes all too real when Marina and her friends are framed for murder.

When Marina Chan ran from her old life, she brought nothing with her-not even her real name. Now she lives in fear of her past being discovered. But when her online gaming team is offered a tour of their favorite game company, Marina can’t resist accepting, even though she knows it might put her fake identity at risk.

Then the creator of the game is murdered during their tour. Whoever killed him plans to frame Marina and her friends for the murder unless they win four rounds of a dangerous game. A game that requires them to lie, trespass, and steal. A game that could destroy everything Marina’s worked so hard to build…. A game that she might not survive.

My Review

The really interesting part of this book is that it mashes up what is essentially a video game contest with a murder mystery. Marina carries secrets that she worries could put her friends and teammates in danger, but she longs to have uncomplicated connections with people and values the closeness in those relationships.

The chapters alternate between two different timelines. In the present, Marina and her team attempt to complete challenging levels of a video game to meet the demands of an unidentified person who threatens to harm the people each teammate loves. The other timeline begins ten years earlier and shows glimpses of Marina’s past, where she lives with her mom. She tries to piece together why the two live such an isolated life.

The tension spikes as the two timelines intersect, and pieces of the mystery come together. The relationships between the characters impact the story in some interesting ways, and I found it easy to root for all of them.

While this isn’t my favorite style of book, I did enjoy reading it. It felt like a quick read with its short chapters, and I particularly liked the mash-up of video game conquests and murder mystery elements. I don’t think I’ve ever seen that done before, and it worked really well here.

Readers who enjoy books by Karen McManus or liked How We Fall Apart by Katie Zhao should check this one out.

Content Notes

Recommended for Ages 14 up.

Representation
Marina is Chinese American and romantically interested in a girl. One of her friends is transgender. Another friend is Black.

Profanity/Crude Language Content
Strong profanity used very infrequently.

Romance/Sexual Content
Kissing between two girls.

Spiritual Content
None.

Violent Content
Situations of peril. Marina witnesses a shooting. Someone threatens Marina and her friends, effectively holding them hostage until they complete a series of tasks. A woman harms child repeatedly.

Drug Content
None.

Note: This post contains affiliate links, which do not cost you anything to use but help support this blog. I received a free copy of this book in exchange for my honest review. All opinions are my own.

Review: Where There’s Smoke by E. B. Vickers

Where There’s Smoke
E. B. Vickers
Knopf Books for Young Readers
Published December 12, 2023

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About Where There’s Smoke

In this fast-paced thriller, eighteen-year-old Calli finds herself alone after the loss of her father—until a bruised and broken girl shows up on her property, forcing her to face the present, rethink her future, and unearth the skeletons of her own past.

Life has never been easy in the small desert town of Harmony, but even on the day Calli Christopher buries her father, she knows she is surrounded by people who care about her. But after the funeral, when everyone has finally gone home, Calli discovers a girl on her property. A girl who’s dirty and bruised and unable to speak. And petrified.

Calli keeps the girl secret—well, almost secret. She calls her Ash and begins to nurture her back to health. But word spreads in a small town, and soon a detective comes around asking questions about a missing girl from another town. But these only raise more questions–about Ash and about the people Calli knows well. Still, she must ask: is Ash in danger…or is she the danger?

My Review

I love the way the author has chosen to tell this story. It’s got prose chapters from Calli’s perspective, and some short chapters or scenes in poetry in between them. The poems tell several other characters’ perspectives, and they’re a little bit veiled, really anchored in the context of what Calli learns in the scenes from her point of view.

It’s hard to talk about some of my feelings about this book without spoilers, but I’m going to do my best.

One of the things that made a lot of sense but sometimes frustrated me as a reader is the way that Calli waffled back and forth in her theories about what had happened to Ash. Sometimes, minute to minute, she’s convinced this person is totally guilty of harming Ash, and the next minute, she’s certain they’re innocent, and it must be someone else. It makes sense because new things keep happening, and she’s never sure who’s telling her the truth.

I did see some of the reveals in the book coming, but I think they were ones that maybe you were supposed to figure out ahead of time. There were definitely plenty of things I didn’t expect and some things that made me look back at earlier scenes with new eyes.

On the whole, I think the author did an amazing job creating a suspenseful story and including commentary on faith and faith communities in a neutral way that allows readers to draw their own conclusions about the characters separately from religion.

Content Notes

Recommended for Ages 14 up.

Representation
I think the major characters are white? Several characters are people who fled from a local cult.

Profanity/Crude Language Content
Strong profanity used somewhat infrequently.

Romance/Sexual Content
Calli references a past dating relationship with a boy. She also wonders if she’s falling in love with another boy.

Spiritual Content
Calli’s dad used to be the Bishop of her local church. Now, her dad’s cousin serves as Bishop. Calli still maintains her faith, and she references some Bible verses in times of need or when she faces tough decisions. Not far from Calli’s hometown is a small, very closed cult. There are rumors of children forced into marriage with much older men and girls who disappear, possibly murdered. Several characters have escaped from this group.

Violent Content
References to domestic violence and sexual assault. (Nothing graphically described or shown on scene.)

Drug Content
Calli finds empty beer bottles in a cabin that should be empty. References to adults drinking alcohol. Calli’s dad preached against drinking any alcohol at all.

Note: This post contains affiliate links, which do not cost you anything to use but which help support this blog. I received a free copy of WHERE THERE’S SMOKE in exchange for my honest review.

Top Ten Tuesday: Amazing Young Adult Books Coming in Fall 2023

I’m finally settling into a fall routine, just in time to look ahead at the incredible line-up of books coming out this season. From familiar retellings to irresistible, high-stakes fantasy to classic rom-com, it’s going to be a great fall to grab that pumpkin spice latte (or whatever your preferred fall drink is) and curl up with a great book.

Top Ten Tuesday is a weekly meme hosted by Jana at That Artsy Reader Girl. This week’s topic is Books on My Fall To-Read list. I couldn’t narrow my list down to ten, so… bonus! Here are 21 amazing young adult books coming in fall 2023.

21 Amazing Young Adult Books Coming in Fall 2023

Into the Bright Open (A Secret Garden Remix) by Cherie Dimaline

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What you need to know: a retelling of the Secret Garden set in Canada and including indigenous characters. I loved THE MARROW THIEVES, so I’ve been very eager to read more of Dimaline’s work. I’m excited about this one.

Published: September 5, 2023


All That Shines by Ellen Hagan

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What you need to know: Chloe goes from having it all to living in the apartment complex her family owns and abandoned. I got swept away by the powerful emotions and verse of DON’T CALL ME A HURRICANE, so I’m always up for more Ellen Hagan books.

Published: September 5, 2023 | My Review


The Spirit Bares Its Teeth by Andrew Joseph White

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What you need to know: A transgender boy desperate to escape an arranged marriage is diagnosed with a strange illness and sent away to a sanitorium and finishing school where ghosts beg him for his help. Looks twisty, dark, and powerful. White’s debut knocked me sideways (in the best way), so I can’t wait for this one.

Published: September 5, 2023


Rez Ball by Byron Graves

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What you need to know: A boy still processing his grief over a lost brother vows to take his basketball team to state so his brother’s dreams come true and his story lives on. Romance, basketball, the raw edges of grief– this debut has so much to offer.

Published: September 12, 2023


The Name Drop by Susan Lee

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What you need to know: Two interns at a massive tech company get their roles swapped by mistake. They decide to keep the switch, so he can take a break from the high-pressure life his father wants for him, and so she can build the connections she needs for college applications. There’s still time to get one last summer romance in with your pumpkin spice.

Published: September 12, 2023


Champion of Fate by Kendare Blake

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What you need to know: A new fantasy series from the author of THREE DARK CROWNS. A girl raised to become one of the legendary heromakers called Aristene. A fiery, infuriating boy she’s tasked with turning into a hero. What if she can’t have both? I haven’t read anything by Blake yet, but I want to, and this looks SO good.

Published: September 19, 2023


The Forest Grimm by Kathryn Purdie

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What you need to know: A girl foretold to die at seventeen takes a dangerous journey into a deadly forest filled with twisted versions of well-loved fairytales to undo a curse and save her mother. Something about this reminds me of GREYMMIST FAIR by Francesca Zappia, which I loved.

Published: September 19, 2023


Foul Heart Huntsman by Chloe Gong

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What you need to know: 1932 Shanghai. An exposed spy desperate to rescue her partner, whose memories of her have been wiped, embarks on a national tour as a means to gather allies and save him. I still need to read the first book in this duology, but my library has the audiobook, so I’ll be reading both this fall!

Published: September 26, 2023


This Dark Descent by Kalyn Josephson

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What you need to know: To save her family’s magic horse ranch, Mekira must win a treacherous horserace. Filled with Jewish folklore. Looks like maybe SIX OF CROWS meets THE SCORPIO RACES?

Published: September 26, 2023


Mermaids Never Drown: Tales to Dive For edited by Zoraida Córdova and Natalie C. Parker

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What you need to know: Fourteen mermaid tales by familiar YA authors like Darcie Little Badger, Kalynn Bayron, and Katherine Locke. Looks like a super-inclusive collection, and I’m always up for a mermaid story!

Published: September 26, 2023


Before the Devil Knows You’re Here by Autumn Krause

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What you need to know: 1836 Wisconsin Territory. An orphaned girl’s little brother is kidnapped by a mysterious bark-covered man. With help from Paul Bunyan, she tracks the Man of Sap, determined to get her brother back in this dark folk horror tale. Looks twisty and unlike anything I’ve ever read before.

Published: October 3, 2023


Night of the Witch by Sara Raasch and Beth Revis

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What you need to know: A witch who survived a brutal attack on her coven reluctantly allies with the captain of the witch hunters who claims to be working to dismantle the hunters from inside their group. Looks intense and rich with magic. I’m excited for this one.

Published: October 3, 2023


Wrath Becomes Her by Aden Polydoros

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What you need to know: 1943 Lithuania. A grieving father uses forbidden magic to create a Nazi-killing golem to avenge his daughter’s death. Vera awakens with an understanding of her purpose and memories of a girl’s human life. This one had me at the comparison: Frankenstein meets Inglourious Basterds. I’m in.

Published: October 10, 2023


Flower and Thorn by Rati Mehrotra

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What you need to know: A magical flower hunter must retrieve a powerful flower stolen by an attractive imposter. I loved Mehrotra’s debut, so I couldn’t miss this one.

Published: October 17, 2023


The Search for Us by Susan Azim Boyer

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What you need to know: Two half-siblings who have never met embark on a search together for the Iranian immigrant and U.S. Army veteran father they never knew. I love a complex family drama, so this one looks great.

Published: October 24, 2023


What the River Knows by Isabel Ibañez

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What you need to know: 19th century Buenas Aires. A girl with a magic ring journeys to Cairo to solve the mystery of her parents’ deaths.

Published: October 31, 2023


With or Without You by Eric Smith

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What you need to know: Two Philly families with a faux food truck rivalry (and secret romance) take their act to TV, where the stakes are higher, and their feelings could cost their dreams. I remember when the author started talking about this one on Twitter, and I’ve been desperate to read it since.

Published: November 7, 2023


No One Left But You by Tash McAdam

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What you need to know: A newly out trans boy gets caught up in the world of a glamorous It-girl until that world crashes down in a murder she may have committed. This one is giving me WE MADE IT ALL UP by Margot Harrison vibes, and I love it.

Published: November 7, 2023


Wish of the Wicked by Danielle Page

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What you need to know: A dark, fairy godmother origin story for fans of MALEFICENT. Yes, please!

Published: November 7, 2023


Artifacts of an Ex by Jennifer Chen

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What you need to know: A teen grieving a recent breakup turns the items left behind after a relationship into an art exhibit and tries to convince her new crush she’s ready to try again for love. Looks sweet and like it’s got some great opportunities for humor and heart.

Published: November 14, 2023


The Dark Heir by C. S. Pacat

What you need to know: In a war of Light versus Dark, Will faces terrible secrets that threaten to break their world. I haven’t read the first book in this series yet, but both look so good, I’m going to try to play a little catchup and read them this fall.

Amazon | Bookshop | Goodreads

Published: November 14, 2023

What are your most-anticipated young adult books coming out this fall?

What amazing young adult books coming in fall 2023 are you most looking forward to reading? Are you planning to read any of the books on my list? What books am I missing that I need to add?

Best Young Adult Books I Read From Summer 2023

At the start of the summer, I had all these grand plans of lists to share and updates to post… and then reality hit like a stack of overdue library books. Don’t get me wrong– I had a great summer, but it was a much busier summer than I predicted. Between family responsibilities, work, and my out-of-control review calendar (Yep, I’m still struggling to say yes to fewer books. It was much easier before I knew so many irresistible books were coming out!), most of my glorious plans went out the window.

Now that school is back in session, I’m ready to catch up a bit on things I missed. One such thing was a most-anticipated summer release post. Obviously, now that summer is done, I’ve read my summer books. The good news is that instead of telling you about books I haven’t read yet that might be amazing, I’m here to talk about the books that lived up to my anticipation. Here are 24 of the best young adult books I read from summer 2023.

Best Young Adult Books I Read From Summer 2023

Andy and the Extroverts by Jessica K. Foster

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What you need to know: Concerned about Andy’s isolation and refusal to make new friends, her parents force her to attend leadership camp. There, Andy must navigate actual outdoor activities and enthusiastic camp counselors… without her morning coffee. This delivered all the fun summer camp vibes I was looking for.

Published: May 16, 2023 | My Review


Limitless Roads Café by Samantha Picaro

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What you need to know: When the café where Kinsey works faces permanent closure, she reluctantly teams up with her former best friend and the girl who landed a prized internship in order to plan a fundraiser to keep the café’s doors open. A main character with autism by an author with autism. I loved the commentary on ableism and the centering of multiple characters with disabilities. Great summer job vibes.

Published: May 30, 2023 | My Review


Always Isn’t Forever by J. C. Cervantes

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What you need to know: After the tragic loss of her perfect boyfriend, Hart, Ruby can’t figure out how to move on. When a cosmic mix-up leaves Hart’s soul trapped inside the body of the school bully, he’s determined to find a way to convince Ruby to give him another chance. The cover copy compared this one to YOU’VE REACHED SAM by Dustin Thao. A sweet second-chance-at-love story.

Published: June 6, 2023 | My Review


Borrow My Heart by Kasie West

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What you need to know: When Wren overhears a boy being bullied for getting catfished, she decides to pretend to be the girl he was supposed to meet. Fake dating, secrets, summer romance, dogs… what’s not to love in Kasie West’s latest novel?

Published: June 13, 2023 | My Review


Going Bicoastal by Dahlia Adler

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What you need to know: Torn between spending the summer in NYC with her dad or in LA with her mom, Natalya lives out both lives and summer romances in alternating chapters in the book. A SLIDING DOORS rom-com perfect for a poolside afternoon.

Published: June 13, 2023 | My Review


Something Close to Magic by Emma Mills

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What you need to know: An overworked baker’s apprentice with an outdated magical skill, a bounty hunter with a perfect memory for details, a troll with zero patience for nonsense, and a prince known for his well-intentioned follies embark on a quest to unmask a plot against the crown. Something about this book gave me THE PRINCESS BRIDE vibes in the best way. My top favorite book of the summer!

Published: June 13, 2023 | My Review


You’re Not Supposed to Die Tonight by Kalynn Bayron

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What you need to know: At a theme park celebrating slasher films, a true killer strikes, leaving Charity and her friends scrambling to escape before the killer strikes again. Honestly, is there anything Kalynn Bayron can’t write? I ate this one up in one sitting.

Published: June 20, 2023 | My Review


Ode to My First Car by Robin Gow

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What you need to know: After Claire totals her first car, she feels adrift. In letters to her car, she shares her blossoming feelings for her best friend and her quest for romance and autonomy from her watchful parents. A powerful novel in verse.

Published: June 20, 2023 | My Review


The Shadow Sister by Lily Meade

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What you need to know: A missing sister returns, but her behavior is… odd. Casey can’t figure out if Sutton is playing a game or truly processing trauma. Unraveling her sister’s secrets takes Casey on a journey into a darkness she may not be ready to face. A brilliant debut on sisterhood, family connections, and power. Another summer favorite for me.

Published: June 27, 2023 | My Review


Monstrous: A Transracial Adoption Story by Sarah Myer

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What you need to know: A Korean-American girl adopted by white parents faces bullying and racism growing up in a mostly white, rural Maryland town. Evocative illustrations and honest storytelling make this one a must-read.

Published: June 27, 2023 | My Review


Manslaughter Park by Tirzah Price

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What you need to know: A queer retelling of MANSFIELD PARK by Jane Austen wrapped inside a murder mystery. This is my second read from this series, and it was such a blast to read.

Published: June 27, 2023 | My Review


A Song of Salvation by Alechia Dow

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What you need to know: A reincarnated god tasked with saving her people, a pilot filling the void of familial rejection with dangerous missions, and a podcast celebrity who’ll do anything to speak truth to power embark on a quest to save the universe from total destruction. Dow’s writing is always immersive, and her stories engaging. This one is no exception!

Published: July 11, 2023 | My Review


Give Me a Sign by Anna Sortino

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What you need to know: Summer camp for Deaf and blind campers and a sweet romance. I loved getting immersed in Deaf culture and Lilah’s journey of self-acceptance. Perfect summer camp romance vibes.

Published: July 11, 2023 | My Review


A Warning About Swans by R. M. Romero

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What you need to know: SWAN LAKE meets THE LAST UNICORN by way of the Brothers Grimm. A girl with a cloak that transforms her into a swan who must guide spirits to their resting place. A boy who will use her power to make dreams real. An artist who paints truths no one else can see. A lush, fantastic novel in verse by the author of THE GHOSTS OF ROSE HILL.

Published: July 11, 2023 | My Review


All That’s Left to Say by Emery Lord

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What you need to know: Leave it to Emery Lord to write a book that turned me inside out emotionally and kept me coming back to every page for more. Powerful, raw, and honest. Have your tissues ready.

Published: July 18, 2023 | My Review


Clementine and Danny Save the World (And Each Other) by Livia Blackburne

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What you need to know: A teen blog writer and a boy trying to save his family’s tea shop. Rivals to lovers romance. This one pretty much had me at “You’ve Got Mail with a YA twist.”

Published: July 18, 2023 | My Review


All Alone with You by Amelia Diane Coombs

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What you need to know: A grumpy-sunshine/rivals-to-lovers story packed with great lines and a salty mentor character. This was one of the most fun books I read this summer.

Published: July 25, 2023 | My Review


Their Vicious Games by Joelle Wellington

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What you need to know: A girl enters a strange, elite competition that promises to grant the winner the life of her dreams. Creepy, eerie, and filled with rock-solid writing.

Published: July 25, 2023 | My Review


House of Roots and Ruin (Sisters of the Salt #2) by Erin A. Craig

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What you need to know: The youngest sister from HOUSE OF SALT AND SORROWS leads this perilous journey to an estate tangled with dangerous, disturbing secrets and a slowly blossoming tale of first love. I liked this one better than the first book in the series.

Published: July 25, 2023 | My Review


The Reunion by Kit Frick

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What you need to know: Four teens gather in a family reunion at a Mexican resort. One of them will not make it home afterward. Filled with secrets and lies, this one kept me on my toes until the very last page.

Published: August 29, 2023 | My Review


Guardians of Dawn: Zahra by S. Jae Jones

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What you need to know: A girl with forbidden magic may be the only one who can stop an outbreak of demon possession among her people. A beautiful East Asia-inspired fantasy landscape with fantastic characters. I loved it!

Published: August 29, 2023 | My Review


Secrets Never Die by Vincent Ralph

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What you need to know: Five friends with secrets they’re desperate to keep. An unknown person poised to reveal them. Great stakes and tension with characters I enjoyed. A good pick if you’re looking for a Halloween read.

Published: August 29, 2023 | My Review


I Feed Her to the Beast and the Beast Is Me by Jamison Shea

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What you need to know: Tired of her talent being overlooked, Laure makes a deal with an ancient god of blood– all of her in exchange for the power she needs to rule the Paris ballet. I enjoyed seeing the tense horror elements blended with the high-stakes, high-pressure ballet world. This author is either a former dancer or did their research really well!

Published: August 29, 2023 | My Review


Infinity Particle by Wendy Xu

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What you need to know: A young inventor joins a colony on Mars working with a pioneering Artificial Intelligence scientist. There, she falls for an AI and begins exploring questions of freedom and autonomy. Breathtaking illustrations and a moving story.

Published: August 29, 2023 | My Review

What Were Your Favorite Young Adult Books of Summer 2023?

So, these are simply the best young adult books I read from summer 2023. What are yours? Did you read any great books over the summer this year? Are there great books I should add to my reading list? Leave a comment and let me know!

Review: Stars and Smoke by Marie Lu

Stars and Smoke (Stars and Smoke #1)
Marie Lu
Roaring Brook Press
Published March 28, 2023

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About Stars and Smoke

This smoldering enemies-to-lovers novel from #1 New York Times bestselling author Marie Lu puts a superstar global phenomenon and a hotshot young spy on a collision course with danger – and Cupid’s arrow – in an electric new series perfect for fans of Nicola Yoon and Ally Carter.

Meet Winter Young – International pop sensation, with a voice like velvet and looks that could kill. His star power has smashed records, selling out stadiums from LA to London. His rabid fans would move heaven and earth for even a glimpse of him – just imagine what they’d do to become his latest fling.

Meet Sydney Cossette – Part of an elite covert ops group, Sydney joined their ranks as their youngest spy with plans to become the best agent they’ve ever had. An ice queen with moves as dangerous as her comebacks, Sydney picks up languages just as quickly as she breaks hearts. She’s fiery, no-nonsense, and has zero time for romance – especially with a shameless flirt more used to serving sass than taking orders.

When a major crime boss gifts his daughter a private concert with Winter for her birthday, Sydney and Winter’s lives suddenly collide. Tasked with infiltrating the crime organization’s inner circle, Sydney is assigned as Winter’s bodyguard with Winter tapped to join her on the mission of a lifetime as a new spy recruit. Sydney may be the only person alive impervious to Winter’s charms, but as their mission brings them closer, she’s forced to admit that there’s more to Winter Young than just a handsome face . . .

Romance and danger abound in this “brilliant, breathtaking ride that will leave you clamoring for the sequel.” —Tahereh Mafi, #1 internationally bestselling author of SHATTER ME.

My Review

Going into this book, I wasn’t sure how the story would balance the romance and the spy/suspense elements. Some of the blurbs and even the cover copy to a degree focused on the romance, so I wasn’t sure if it was predominantly a romance with a bit of spy stuff around the edges?

It’s really both, and I feel like both parts work well together. I’d call the romance more of a subplot, because while there are some scenes centered around Winter and Sydney getting to know and falling for each other, the bulk of the story is focused on their mission.

The hyper-advanced technology definitely adds to the book’s James Bond-style vibe. Not only is the mission dangerous, but it’s clear Sydney and Winter are up against a villain with a whole lot of tricks up his sleeve.

I enjoyed the first fifty pages or so, but it wasn’t until Sydney and Winter actually left for their mission that I really dove into this book. There are so many interesting characters, and so many layers to them. I liked the ways the story surprised me. I loved the descriptions of Winter dancing, and the way he expressed emotions. Those scenes are the ones that will stick with me the longest.

Conclusion

I haven’t read anything by Marie Lu since LEGEND, so I’m way behind on her books. This one made me really want to catch up because there was great storytelling here, and really good pacing to this intense story. All in all, I’m incredibly glad I read STARS AND SMOKE. Readers who enjoy spy thrillers or stories about music superstars definitely want to get their hands on this one.

Content Notes

Recommended for Ages 12 up.

Representation
Winter is Chinese American and has had romantic relationships with boys and girls. One minor character is gay and black.

Profanity/Crude Language Content
Strong profanity used infrequently.

Romance/Sexual Content
References to a past relationship Winter was in, in which he slept with his partner. References to both Winter and Sydney having short romantic relationships in the past. Kissing between boy and girl.

Spiritual Content
None.

Violent Content
Winter learns his brother died on assignment for Panacea, an independent spy agency working alongside the CIA. Situations of peril. A girl attacks various opponents. A man is executed using a chemical agent. A girl is poisoned. Someone tries to and later succeeds in shooting a boy.

Drug Content
Winter (age 19) drinks alcohol at a party in London (where the drinking age is 18.).

Note: This post contains affiliate links, which do not cost you anything to use, but which help support this blog. I received a free copy of STARS AND SMOKE in exchange for my honest review.

Review: I Will Find You Again by Sarah Lyu

I Will Find You Again
Sarah Lyu
Simon & Schuster
Published March 14, 2023

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About I Will Find You Again

All the Bright Places meets Ace of Spades in this twisty teen thriller about finding a way to live after losing the one person who feels like home.

Welcome to Meadowlark, Long Island—expensive homes and good schools, ambition and loneliness. Meet Chase Ohara and Lia Vestiano: the driven overachiever and the impulsive wanderer, the future CEO and the free spirit. Best friends for years—weekend trips to Montauk, sleepovers on a yacht—and then, first love. True love.

But when Lia disappears, Chase’s life turns into a series of grim snapshots. Anger. Grief. Running. Pink pills in an Altoids tin. A cheating ring at school. Heartbreak and lies. A catastrophic secret.

And the shocking truth that will change everything about the way Chase sees Lia—and herself.

My Review

For some reason, I find I’m always drawn to books about complicated grief. This one is no exception. It’s an intense story, both in its exploration of grief, but also in the way that it’s written like a thriller. I feel like all the stories I want to compare it to give things away about the plot, though.

After Lia’s death, Chase finds herself trying to sift through her memories and those of her friends to piece together what happened and understand why. She feels someone must be responsible, or that there must be an explanation that will make Lia’s death make sense, and she’ll do whatever it takes to find the truth.

I liked those things about her. Her desperation was palpable. Her grief exploded off the page. I couldn’t help rooting for her, even though sometimes she did self-destructive things.

The story explores the pressure that Chase and her friends feel at school. All of them have ambitious AP course loads plus extracurriculars. They decide that drugs and a cheating ring, in which one person completes an assignment or test and distributes the work to the others, is the only reasonable way to survive.

While obviously cheating is wrong, I couldn’t help pausing to think about why they chose that course and whether certain high-achieving academic programs do push kids too hard. I don’t know. It’s still something I’m thinking about.

All in all, I WILL FIND YOU AGAIN has perfect pacing in a deep, emotional landscape. Fans of E. Lockhart or Matthew Quick totally want to check this one out.

Content Notes

Recommended for Ages 14 up.

Representation
Chase is Japanese, Vietnamese, Chinese, and Taiwanese. Lia is Korean and adopted by white parents.

Profanity/Crude Language Content
Extreme profanity used pretty frequently.

Romance/Sexual Content
Kissing between two girls.

Spiritual Content
None.

Violent Content
Mentions of suicidal thoughts. Brief mention of a suicide attempt.

Drug Content
Chase takes an upper called Focentra (a fictional drug) which she buys from a classmate.

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