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MMGM Review: Just Lizzie by Karen Wilfrid

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Just Lizzie by Karen Wilfrid

Just Lizzie
Karen Wilfrid
Clarion Books
Published November 14, 2023

Amazon | Bookshop | Goodreads

About Just Lizzie

A 2024 LAMBDA AWARD FINALIST

In this beautifully written contemporary middle grade debut, an eighth grader’s study of asexuality in science class leads her to understand her own asexual identity as she embarks on a journey toward self-discovery and self-advocacy. For readers of Alex Gino and Ashley Herring Blake.

“There’s the part of me that doesn’t understand kissing or cuteness or attraction, and then there’s the part of me that feels so lonely. How do I make sense of those two parts? Maybe I’ll never make sense of them.”

What do you do when there’s a question inside you that feels so big, you don’t know how to put words to it? How do you even begin to ask it?

Fourteen-year-old Lizzie is experiencing a lot of change: Her family had to move after the incident with their neighbor, leaving behind not only her beloved apple tree but what feels like her childhood along with it. Lizzie’s brother is too busy for her in his first semester of college, and her friends are more interested in dating than dolls. It’s hard not to feel left behind, especially as she tries to explain the fact that she still has zero interest in boys, girls, or the baffling behavior known as “flirting.”

But just as Lizzie’s world feels like it’s closing in, a class lesson on asexual reproduction in plants piques her curiosity, leading her to look up whether people can be asexual too—and suddenly her world opens up. Lizzie finally finds an identity, a word for all her messy, unnamable feelings that feels like it fits, although she quickly realizes that a label isn’t enough if no one believes it’s real.

Accessible, moving, and compassionate, Just Lizzie effortlessly braids a nuanced individual journey of identity with the bittersweet angst of growing up, growing apart, and learning there are many ways to live and love.

My Review

I have zero surprise that this book was nominated for awards.

This is one of those books that has so much going on in it, but it’s paced so perfectly that the story never feels cluttered or too busy. It never feels like a thread is dropped only to awkwardly reappear later.

At the start of the story, Lizzie is in the midst of a lot of changes. Her family recently moved from a house she loved because of an incident with a neighbor. This incident left Lizzie and her mom traumatized. Lizzie’s best friend has also just started dating a boy from school. Dating and attraction don’t make sense to Lizzie, so she struggles to respond to her friend’s relationship troubles and questions about who she likes.

One really cool part of the book is that Lizzie takes a self-defense class on Saturdays. In the class, she learns about fight, flight, and freeze responses. Learning to defend herself makes her feel more empowered. She also builds surprising connections with a couple of mentors through the class.

Adults in Lizzie’s life don’t always respond to her in the ways she expects. She faces disappointments, but she also has experiences where adults she thought would brush her off take time to see her. I loved that.

I don’t think I went into this book expecting it to be a favorite, but this is a story I’m going to hold onto for a long time. Just Lizzie perfectly captures that middle school experience where so many changes happen so quickly that it’s hard to keep up. I loved the ace representation. It’s an incredible book, and I hope that a lot more people discover and read it.

Content Notes

Recommended for Ages 8 to 12.

Profanity/Crude Language Content
Mild profanity used very rarely.

Romance/Sexual Content
References to kissing and feelings of attraction. Boys show each other diagrams of the human body from their science textbooks, giggling and trying to make people uncomfortable. Vague references to making out or touching. (Nothing is described in the scene.)

Spiritual Content
None.

Violent Content
A neighbor pushed Lizzie’s front door open after being asked to leave, scaring Lizzie and injuring her mom. Lizzie takes a self-defense class and practices defensive maneuvers. A boy at school repeatedly kicks Lizzie’s chair and, at one point, shoves her.

Drug Content
None.

Note: This post contains affiliate links, which do not cost you anything to use but help support this blog. I received a free copy of this book in exchange for my honest review. All opinions are my own.

Marvelous Middle-Grade Monday

I’m sharing this post as a part of a weekly round-up of middle-grade posts called Marvelous Middle-Grade Monday. Check out other blogs with posts about middle-grade books today on Marvelous Middle-Grade Mondays at Always in the Middle.

Review: Gender Queer by Maia Kobabe

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Gender Queer
Maia Kobabe
Lion Forge Comics
Published May 28, 2019

Amazon | Bookshop | Goodreads

About Gender Queer

In 2014, Maia Kobabe, who uses e/em/eir pronouns, thought that a comic of reading statistics would be the last autobiographical comic e would ever write. At the time, it was the only thing e felt comfortable with strangers knowing about em. Now, GENDER QUEER is here.

Maia’s intensely cathartic autobiography charts eir journey of self-identity, which includes the mortification and confusion of adolescent crushes, grappling with how to come out to family and society, bonding with friends over erotic gay fanfiction, and facing the trauma of pap smears. Started as a way to explain to eir family what it means to be nonbinary and asexual, GENDER QUEER is more than a personal story: it is a useful and touching guide on gender identity—what it means and how to think about it—for advocates, friends, and humans everywhere.

My Review

I think what’s really cool about this book is that the author takes time to give clear, well-explored explanations of key moments in eir life when eir identity came into focus. Maia Kobabe diligently and openly explains eir relationship with eir body as a child, an adolescent, and later as an adult. Why did female pronouns feel so wrong for em? Why do sexual fantasies feel so much more satisfying to em than experiences do?

Having these conversations plainly and openly offers solidarity to others having similar experiences. It shows people who have similar questions that they’re not alone. They’re not the first ones to feel a disconnect with their bodies. It also provides a roadmap for people who do not identify as genderqueer. Reading a book like this, a story that details someone’s personal experience, allows readers to bring questions to a safe space where there’s no judgment or intrusion. Reading about Maia’s experience allows us to listen and cultivate empathy for others who may have a different life experience than we do.

Banning Gender Queer

One of the reasons I opted to read this book is because I hear it discussed so often in the context of being banned in schools. If you’ve been on my blog awhile, you probably already know that I’m not a fan of book bans, and it’s not a position I came to lightly. The core of the decision really is this: as a parent, my job is to be part of the decision-making about books my child reads. It is not my job to decide which books are okay for someone else’s child to read.

With that said, I think GENDER QUEER brings some important topics to the table for discussion. It does address some mature topics, so I think it would generally be more appropriate to older readers.

Content Notes

Recommended for Ages 16 up.

Representation
Maia identifies as genderqueer and uses Spivak pronouns (e/em/eir), which are a set of gender-neutral, grammatically singular pronouns. Some other people appearing in the memoir are queer as well.

Profanity/Crude Language Content
Extreme profanity used very infrequently.

Romance/Sexual Content
References to gay pornography. References to sex. In one scene, Maia very briefly outlines with a partner the things e would not feel comfortable doing sexually. One line later states that e and eir partner have made out and had sex. In one scene, Maia lists a snippet of a sexually explicit conversation e had with eir partner and the divergence of eir feelings about the fantasy of the experience versus the actual experience.

Maia is also very open about eir personal experience with arousal and masturbation. E explains these feelings as part of a larger explanation of eir asexuality and/or gender dysphoria. It didn’t come across as something meant to be sexy. Instead, it appeared to be a thoughtful examination of how eir body reacts to touch and visual stimulation and how that might differ from others’ experiences.

There are a few panels that show some cartoon nudity. One panel shows two men kissing from their hips upward. One shows two men facing each other, referencing a fantasy Maia had based on Plato’s SYMPOSIUM. A couple show Maia from the side, sitting on a toilet, after e has discovered the start of eir period. One page shows Maia undressing for an examination with a gynecologist. One panel shows em naked from the front.

Spiritual Content
None.

Violent Content
Maia describes the pain of a gynecological exam as feeling like e has been stabbed through the abdomen. The illustration shows a torso without gender details with a blade stabbed through the abdomen. Another illustration shows a similar image, but from a side view.

Drug Content
None.

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