Tag Archives: identity

Review: Gender Queer by Maia Kobabe

Book Review and Content, Coming of Age, Graphic Novel or Adaptation, Memoir, Nonfiction, , , , , , , ,
Gender Queer by Maia Kobabe

Gender Queer
Maia Kobabe
Lion Forge Comics
Published May 28, 2019

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About Gender Queer

In 2014, Maia Kobabe, who uses e/em/eir pronouns, thought that a comic of reading statistics would be the last autobiographical comic e would ever write. At the time, it was the only thing e felt comfortable with strangers knowing about em. Now, GENDER QUEER is here.

Maia’s intensely cathartic autobiography charts eir journey of self-identity, which includes the mortification and confusion of adolescent crushes, grappling with how to come out to family and society, bonding with friends over erotic gay fanfiction, and facing the trauma of pap smears. Started as a way to explain to eir family what it means to be nonbinary and asexual, GENDER QUEER is more than a personal story: it is a useful and touching guide on gender identity—what it means and how to think about it—for advocates, friends, and humans everywhere.

My Review

I think what’s really cool about this book is that the author takes time to give clear, well-explored explanations of key moments in eir life when eir identity came into focus. Maia Kobabe diligently and openly explains eir relationship with eir body as a child, an adolescent, and later as an adult. Why did female pronouns feel so wrong for em? Why do sexual fantasies feel so much more satisfying to em than experiences do?

Having these conversations plainly and openly offers solidarity to others having similar experiences. It shows people who have similar questions that they’re not alone. They’re not the first ones to feel a disconnect with their bodies. It also provides a roadmap for people who do not identify as genderqueer. Reading a book like this, a story that details someone’s personal experience, allows readers to bring questions to a safe space where there’s no judgment or intrusion. Reading about Maia’s experience allows us to listen and cultivate empathy for others who may have a different life experience than we do.

Banning Gender Queer

One of the reasons I opted to read this book is because I hear it discussed so often in the context of being banned in schools. If you’ve been on my blog awhile, you probably already know that I’m not a fan of book bans, and it’s not a position I came to lightly. The core of the decision really is this: as a parent, my job is to be part of the decision-making about books my child reads. It is not my job to decide which books are okay for someone else’s child to read.

With that said, I think GENDER QUEER brings some important topics to the table for discussion. It does address some mature topics, so I think it would generally be more appropriate to older readers.

Content Notes

Recommended for Ages 16 up.

Representation
Maia identifies as genderqueer and uses Spivak pronouns (e/em/eir), which are a set of gender-neutral, grammatically singular pronouns. Some other people appearing in the memoir are queer as well.

Profanity/Crude Language Content
Extreme profanity used very infrequently.

Romance/Sexual Content
References to gay pornography. References to sex. In one scene, Maia very briefly outlines with a partner the things e would not feel comfortable doing sexually. One line later states that e and eir partner have made out and had sex. In one scene, Maia lists a snippet of a sexually explicit conversation e had with eir partner and the divergence of eir feelings about the fantasy of the experience versus the actual experience.

Maia is also very open about eir personal experience with arousal and masturbation. E explains these feelings as part of a larger explanation of eir asexuality and/or gender dysphoria. It didn’t come across as something meant to be sexy. Instead, it appeared to be a thoughtful examination of how eir body reacts to touch and visual stimulation and how that might differ from others’ experiences.

There are a few panels that show some cartoon nudity. One panel shows two men kissing from their hips upward. One shows two men facing each other, referencing a fantasy Maia had based on Plato’s SYMPOSIUM. A couple show Maia from the side, sitting on a toilet, after e has discovered the start of eir period. One page shows Maia undressing for an examination with a gynecologist. One panel shows em naked from the front.

Spiritual Content
None.

Violent Content
Maia describes the pain of a gynecological exam as feeling like e has been stabbed through the abdomen. The illustration shows a torso without gender details with a blade stabbed through the abdomen. Another illustration shows a similar image, but from a side view.

Drug Content
None.

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Review: The Prince and the Dressmaker by Jen Wang

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The Prince and the Dressmaker
Jen Wang
First Second
Published February 13, 2018

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About The Prince and the Dressmaker

Paris, at the dawn of the modern age:

Prince Sebastian is looking for a bride―or rather, his parents are looking for one for him. Sebastian is too busy hiding his secret life from everyone. At night he puts on daring dresses and takes Paris by storm as the fabulous Lady Crystallia―the hottest fashion icon in the world capital of fashion!

Sebastian’s secret weapon is his brilliant dressmaker, Frances―his best friend and one of only two people who know the truth: sometimes this boy wears dresses. But Frances dreams of greatness, and being someone’s secret weapon means being a secret. Forever. How long can Frances defer her dreams to protect her friend?

Jen Wang weaves an exuberantly romantic tale of identity, young love, art, and family. A fairy tale for any age, THE PRINCE AND THE DRESSMAKER will steal your heart.

My Review

Consider my heart stolen.

THE PRINCE AND THE DRESSMAKER has been on my reading list for a long time, but I finally picked it up after seeing it on a list of challenged books in Florida schools. I was able to borrow a copy from my local library, but I hope to add a copy to my bookshelves as well.

The relationship between Frances and Sebastian hooked me from their first scene together. I thought Frances was absolutely fantastic. Her artistic eye and her ability to translate what was unique about her clients and bring it to the clothes she designed was really cool. I liked that she and Sebastian became best friends, and that they both learned things from one another. Everyone needs that kind of friend who sees who you are and is with you no matter what.

While the story addresses some more serious conversations– Sebastian being outed to his parents and whole kingdom, for example– it also delivers some playful moments. The first meeting between Sebastian and Frances. The fashion show toward the end of the book. I loved that the book wove both those awful and wonderful moments together and connected them through people loving and supporting Sebastian for all he was.

I truly enjoyed reading this book, and I’d love to read more of Jen Wang’s books. Readers who enjoy fairytale stories or sweet romances will want to check this one out. I’m not sure I’ve read anything else like it– the closest might be TIDESONG, though I think that one is for a slightly younger audience than THE PRINCE AND THE DRESSMAKER.

Content Notes for The Prince and the Dressmaker

Recommended for Ages 12 up.

Representation
Sebastian expresses that sometimes he identifies as a prince and other times he identifies as a princess and wears dresses to express that.

Profanity/Crude Language Content
None.

Romance/Sexual Content
Kissing between boy and girl.

Spiritual Content
None.

Violent Content
Another prince finds Lady Crystallia unconscious and realizes she is also Sebastian. He kidnaps and outs her to the king and queen.

Drug Content
A bartender gives Lady Crystallia a mood-altering drink.

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Review: Constellations by Kate Glasheen

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Constellations
Kate Glasheen
Holiday House
Published May 23, 2023

Amazon | Bookshop | Goodreads

About Constellations

A debut graphic novel about a queer teen living in the margins who is determined to find their way ahead.

Are you supposed to be a boy or a girl?

It’s a question that follows Claire everywhere. Inescapable on the street, in school, and even at home. A black hole forever trying to pull them in. But as long as they have ride-or-die best friend Greg at their side and a drink in their hand, everything will be okay. Right?

Except, Claire can never have just one drink. And when harassment at school reaches a fever pitch, Claire begins a spiral that ends in court-ordered rehab. Feeling completely lost, Claire is soon surrounded by a group of new friends and, with the help of a patient counselor, finds a space to unpack all the bad they’ve experienced. But as Claire’s release gets closer so does the Can Claire stay sober and true in a world seemingly never made for them?

Set in 1980s Troy, New York, Constellations is a portrait of a queer teen living in the margins but determined to find their way ahead. Done in watercolor and ink, debut author-artist Kate Glasheen has created a world where strong lines meet soft color, and raw emotions meet deep thought in this story of hope, humor, and survival.

“A unique journey that doesn’t turn away from hard truths; courageously honest and vulnerable.”—Iasmin Omar Ata, the Ignatz Award winning creator of Mis(h)adra.

My Review

What a moving story. At the beginning, we meet Claire and get a view of the town, which has kind of shrunk in on itself following factory closures. There are people Claire once felt connected to that aren’t here anymore. I love the those people and missing things are drawing as though they’re on a piece of notebook paper that’s been torn out of a notebook. Like pages ripped out of a journal– perhaps the one we see Claire sketching in from time to time. I thought that whole idea was really clever.

A lot of the story takes place while Claire is in rehab. I liked the way those chapters were presented, too. It felt like going on the journey with Claire and peeling back layers of why this happened. Why alcohol? Why is it so hard to stop? What are you running from? I felt like the way the story unfolded really drew me into those questions and made me feel Claire wrestling with the answers.

Overall, I think CONSTELLATIONS contains some powerful visual storytelling, and I’m really excited that I got to read it. I hope this author writes a lot more.

Content Notes

Brief depiction of sexual assault and references to abuse. Alcoholism and addiction.

Recommended for Ages 14 up.

Representation
Claire has questions about gender identity. Neither of the labels “boy” or “girl” are a good fit. Claire is also an alcoholic. Other characters have addictions to drugs and alcohol and are attending rehab.

Profanity/Crude Language Content
Extreme profanity used infrequently.

Romance/Sexual Content
A couple of girls kiss Claire.

At one point, a group of boys begin taunting Claire and one grabs Claire’s groin.

Spiritual Content
None.

Violent Content
A boy in the rehab program talks about how his father beats him. Others describe emotional abuse or neglect. These are brief descriptions. Panels show teens fighting a couple of times.

Claire remembers an instance in which a nun forced Claire to stand outside in front of others with no pants on.

Drug Content
At the start of the story, Claire drinks alcohol at every opportunity. Claire shares the number of family members who are also alcoholic. At rehab, others share their addictions. Some of the rehab participants return to using drugs or alcohol after they leave the program.

Note: This post contains affiliate links, which do not cost you anything to use, but which help support this blog. I received a free copy of CONSTELLATIONS in exchange for my honest review.

Review: Imogen, Obviously by Becky Albertalli

Book Review and Content, Contemporary, Romance, , , , , , , ,

Imogen, Obviously
Becky Albertalli
Balzer + Bray
Published May 2, 2023

Amazon | Bookshop | Goodreads

About Imogen, Obviously

With humor and insight, #1 New York Times bestseller Becky Albertalli explores the nuances of sexuality, identity, and friendship.

Imogen Scott may be hopelessly heterosexual, but she’s got the World’s Greatest Ally title locked down.

She’s never missed a Pride Alliance meeting. She knows more about queer media discourse than her very queer little sister. She even has two queer best friends. There’s Gretchen, a fellow high school senior, who helps keep Imogen’s biases in check. And then there’s Lili—newly out and newly thriving with a cool new squad of queer college friends.

Imogen’s thrilled for Lili. Any ally would be. And now that she’s finally visiting Lili on campus, she’s bringing her ally A game. Any support Lili needs, Imogen’s all in.

Even if that means bending the truth, just a little.

Like when Lili drops a tiny queer bombshell: she’s told all her college friends that Imogen and Lili used to date. And none of them know that Imogen is a raging hetero—not even Lili’s best friend, Tessa.

Of course, the more time Imogen spends with chaotic, freckle-faced Tessa, the more she starts to wonder if her truth was ever all that straight to begin with. . .

My Review

I feel like I have so much to say about this book. First, let me talk about the romance and self-discovery story that the author expertly delivers. I think I’ve only read maybe half of the books Becky Albertalli has written, but every one I read is well-crafted. And every one seems to be better than the ones before. Which isn’t to say I didn’t like the earlier books… just that I’m even more engaged with each subsequent one.

Imogen’s character pretty much had me at hello. She’s a sweet, anxious girl who struggles with people-pleasing (totally relatable!), and she continually strives to listen and learn as a queer ally. I adored the connection she makes with Tessa and the way their friendship and the possibility of more develops. I couldn’t wait to see how things would turn out for them.

Can There Be Too Much Emphasis on Politics?

Like Immy in one scene of the book, I feel a little uneasy even seeing that headline. Let me, hopefully, explain what I mean. One thing the book (deftly, if sometimes painfully) explores is the gatekeeping that can sometimes happen in the queer community. Who’s allowed to call themselves queer? Who’s faking? When is it okay for someone to remain closeted? Is there a threshold of prejudice someone must face for being queer before they can be respected for their identity?

The book asks a lot of questions like this, and gives readers a lot of time to think about their answers. I like that because of the identities of the chosen cast of characters, the story gives space to people having different viewpoints. Without ever stating that queer people aren’t a monolith, we see this in action. I loved that, though at times some of the ideas discussed were painful or toxic.

I also felt like the painful/toxic ideas got addressed. Sometimes it didn’t happen as immediately as I hoped, but it did happen. Sometimes this meant Immy speaking up for herself, and other times it meant someone else challenging a hurtful idea she’d internalized. Which feels like evidence of a healthy friend group to me.

Writing From Experience

In 2020, Becky Albertalli released an essay on Medium in which she talked about some of the issues that come up in this book, specifically about the way that people assume things about someone’s identity and how damaging that can be, even when the conversation is part of a larger, important one. I couldn’t help thinking about this article when I read certain scenes of IMOGEN, OBVIOUSLY. I don’t want to judge which things were incidental to the story and which were things she purposely included from her own experience. But I’m grateful for the things this book will add to those conversations about identity.

Conclusion

All in all, I think this was a sweet, engaging story of romance and self-discovery. I love that it explored some queer issues and discourse often debated online, and that it gave readers a minute to pause, digest, and challenge ideas at their own pace.

Content Notes for Imogen, Obviously

Recommended for Ages 14 up.

Representation
Imogen’s sister is a lesbian. She has a Brazilian American friend who identifies as pansexual, and another who identifies as bisexual.

Profanity/Crude Language Content
Extreme profanity used fairly frequently.

Romance/Sexual Content
Kissing between two girls.

Spiritual Content
One character is Jewish and mentions attending holidays and celebrations.

Violent Content
Some homophobic and biphobic comments.

Drug Content
Teens drink alcohol before and during a college party.

Note: This post contains affiliate links, which do not cost you anything to use, but which help support this blog. I received a free copy of IMOGEN, OBVIOUSLY in exchange for my honest review.

Review: Ophelia After All by Racquel Marie

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Ophelia After All
Racquel Marie
Feiwel & Friends
Published February 8, 2022

Amazon | Bookshop | Goodreads

About Ophelia After All

A teen girl navigates friendship drama, the end of high school, and discovering her queerness in Ophelia After All, a hilarious and heartfelt contemporary YA debut by author Racquel Marie.

Ophelia Rojas knows what she likes: her best friends, Cuban food, rose-gardening, and boys – way too many boys. Her friends and parents make fun of her endless stream of crushes, but Ophelia is a romantic at heart. She couldn’t change, even if she wanted to.

So when she finds herself thinking more about cute, quiet Talia Sanchez than the loss of a perfect prom with her ex-boyfriend, seeds of doubt take root in Ophelia’s firm image of herself. Add to that the impending end of high school and the fracturing of her once-solid friend group, and things are spiraling a little out of control. But the course of love–and sexuality–never did run smooth. As her secrets begin to unravel, Ophelia must make a choice between clinging to the fantasy version of herself she’s always imagined or upending everyone’s expectations to rediscover who she really is, after all.

My Review

I don’t think I’ve ever read a debut so wise as this one. While Ophelia is herself a romantic, her story doesn’t truly center around a romantic relationship. It explores romantic feelings– both hers and some of her friends’. But the story truly shines as one of self-discovery. Ophelia wrestles with her own expectations for herself and the challenges of navigating close relationships as those expectations or feelings change.

Ophelia has a large and loud friend group, but the relationships aren’t all equally shared. Not only did this feel very real to me, because it’s hard to imagine a homogenously friendly group that size, but it deepened each of those characters because every relationship with Ophelia was individual, and impacted the group differently. It created a lot of tension and opportunity for ripple effects in that tension, which really made the big moments in the book even bigger.

I feel like I spent a long time on the edge of my emotional seat holding my breath and rooting for Ophelia to finally spill her guts and talk about the things she was holding back. I love the scene where things do come out and how wild and dramatic it was. I felt like it was the perfect scene for the story as a whole.

I think readers who enjoyed CAN’T TAKE THAT AWAY by Steven Salvatore or HOME FIELD ADVANTAGE by Dahlia Adler will enjoy this one.

Content Notes

Recommended for Ages 14 up.

Representation
Ophelia is Latine and white. She has a diverse group of friends. Some are black, Latine, and LGBTQIA+

Profanity/Crude Language Content
Extreme profanity used somewhat frequently.

Romance/Sexual Content
Kissing between boy and girl. Kissing between two girls. Brief reference to sex. Some conversations about asexuality.

Spiritual Content
Reference to family members who are homophobic for religious reasons.

Violent Content
Some homophobic comments.

Drug Content
None.

Note: This post contains affiliate links, which do not cost you anything to use, but which help support this blog. I received a free copy of OPHELIA AFTER ALL in exchange for my honest review.

Review: All Boys Aren’t Blue by George M. Johnson

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All Boys Aren’t Blue: A Memoir-Manifesto
George M. Johnson
Farrar, Straus, and Giroux
Published April 28, 2020

Amazon | Bookshop | Goodreads

About All Boys Aren’t Blue

In a series of personal essays, prominent journalist and LGBTQIA+ activist George M. Johnson explores his childhood, adolescence, and college years in New Jersey and Virginia. From the memories of getting his teeth kicked out by bullies at age five, to flea marketing with his loving grandmother, to his first sexual relationships, this young-adult memoir weaves together the trials and triumphs faced by Black queer boys.

Both a primer for teens eager to be allies as well as a reassuring testimony for young queer men of color, ALL BOYS AREN’T BLUE covers topics such as gender identity, toxic masculinity, brotherhood, family, structural marginalization, consent, and Black joy. Johnson’s emotionally frank style of writing will appeal directly to young adults.

My Review

George M. Johnson’s writing style definitely drew me in. He has this ability to dive into places in the human soul that I think we are often afraid to travel openly. He said things that challenged me but also things that resonated with me so deeply that I still feel their echoes.

The book is divided up into four parts, each part made up of chapters about different topics. He describes family connections and the way that his family consistently pulled together to love one another, acknowledging their imperfections, but recognizing the gift those relationships have been to him.

He also shares some vulnerable experiences in order to talk about how little information he had and how that affected choices he made. Some of the descriptions of these events are graphic. I really liked that he offered the context for his decision to include those stories, though, and his desire to help foster better education for the generation coming after him.

All in all, this is a poignant, brave, and articulate memoir that has a lot to offer its readers in terms of identity, culture, and masculinity.

Content Notes

Recommended for Ages 14 up.

Representation
George is Black and queer. Some of his family members and friends also identify as LGBTQIA+

Profanity/Crude Language Content
Extreme profanity used infrequently. The author also uses racist and homophobic slurs at times in the book. He explains his choices in an opening letter to readers.

Romance/Sexual Content
George describes a night when he was 13 and an older cousin molested him.

George also describes sexual experiences he had in college in one chapter.

Spiritual Content
George attended a Catholic high school.

Violent Content
Descriptions of a fight between boys in which two boys held George down while another kicked his front teeth in. Later, he references a cousin who was killed in a fight on the street.

Drug Content
Brief description of kids sneaking liquor from their parents’ cabinet. In college, George drank alcohol and smoked marijuana. He talks about how his smoking habit impacted his college attendance and grades.

Note: This post contains affiliate links, which do not cost you anything to use, but which help support this blog.