Tag Archives: anxiety

Review: This Is Me Trying by Racquel Marie

This is Me Trying by Racquel Marie

This Is Me Trying
Racquel Marie
Feiwel & Friends
Published

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About This Is Me Trying

Perfect for fans of Nina LaCour, This is Me Trying is a profound and tender YA contemporary novel exploring grief, love, and guilt from author Racquel Marie.

Growing up, Bryce, Beatriz, and Santiago were inseparable. But when Santiago moved away before high school, their friendship crumbled. Three years later, Bryce is gone, Beatriz is known as the dead boy’s girlfriend, and Santiago is back.

The last thing Beatriz wants is to reunite with Santiago, who left all her messages unanswered while she drowned alone in grief over Bryce’s death by suicide. Even if she wasn’t angry, Santiago’s attempts to make amends are jeopardizing her plan to keep the world at arm’s length―equal parts protection and punishment―and she swore to never let anyone try that again.

Santiago is surprised to find the once happy-go-lucky Bea is now the gothic town loner, though he’s unsurprised she wants nothing to do with him. But he can’t fix what he broke between them while still hiding what led him to cut her off in the first place, and it’s harder to run from his past when he isn’t states away anymore.

Inevitably drawn back together by circumstance and history, Beatriz and Santiago navigate grief, love, mental illness, forgiveness, and what it means to try to build a future after unfathomable loss.

My Review

I can’t resist a new book by Racquel Marie, so I knew I would have to read this one. It’s different than her previous two books, both of which had only female narrators. Different doesn’t mean bad, though. I liked both Santiago and Beatriz as narrators. On the surface, this book seems like a simple story, but the author weaves in so many layers that it takes us the whole book to unwind them all.

Both Santi and Bea have complicated relationships with their parents and are raised by one parent. In Santi’s case, his supportive guardian is his grandfather, and his dad flits in and out of his life, pursuing his dream to be a professional musician. Bea’s mom is kind of the opposite. Having a child very young made her curve her life around her daughter and devote herself to making sure Bea had everything she needed.

The elephant in the room, of course, is the death of Santiago’s best friend and Bea’s boyfriend, Bryce. It’s been nearly three years, but those wounds remain fresh for both of them, and they avoid or deal with their grief in different ways.

One of the things I really liked about the book is the descriptions of Bea’s hair, makeup, and clothes. She has a very goth style going on that reminded me of someone I went to school with. I liked that even though the people who know her can see through her prickly exterior and realize that she’s lonely and hurting, they don’t blow through her boundaries. They make their case. They offer. But ultimately, if she asks them to leave her alone, they do.

As the story progresses and the layers unwind, I couldn’t help getting more and more caught up in the story. Grief is hard, even when it’s not as complicated as this. The author does a phenomenal job bringing that complexity to the page and making room to celebrate relationships and beauty as well.

Also: bonus for having an adorable black cat named Lottie to flit in and out of scenes the way cats do! The scenes in which Bea walks her cat with a leash are awesome.

Content Notes

Recommended for Ages 14 up.

Representation
Important characters have depression, anxiety, panic attacks, and intrusive thoughts and behaviors fueled by obsessive-compulsive disorder OCD. Beatriz is biracial, with a Colombian American mom and white dad. Santiago is Latino American. Beatriz identifies as pansexual. Santiago identifies as queer. A couple minor characters are lesbians. One is nonbinary.

Profanity/Crude Language Content
Extreme profanity used somewhat frequently.

Romance/Sexual Content
Kissing between boy and girl. References to kissing between two boys and sex between two girls. References to sex between a boy and girl. (All sex happens off-scene.)

Bea’s mom got pregnant as a teenager. Bea imagines what that life was like and how it impacted her mom’s plans.

Spiritual Content
People gather for a memorial service for a boy who died. Later, someone comments that he is looking down on his friends.

Violent Content
References to a boy who died by suicide (the method is never disclosed). Characters discuss suicidal ideation and morbid ideation. The story focuses on grief from this loss as well as the loss of parents due to a car accident or cancer.

In one scene, a boy behaves in a predatory way toward another person, pursuing them when the person makes it clear they do not want the attention. The person’s friends stop the boy from harassing them.

A boy and girl (minor characters) have an emotionally abusive relationship operating around the fringes of the story.

A girl hurts her hand punching a boy.

Drug Content
Teens drink alcohol at a party. A drunk boy calls a girl to give him a ride home. Some characters smoke.

Note: This post contains affiliate links, which do not cost you anything to use but help support this blog. I received a free copy of this book in exchange for my honest review. All opinions are my own.

Review: The Final Curse of Ophelia Cray by Christine Calella

The Final Curse of Ophelia Cray
Christine Calella
Page Street Press
Published April 9, 2024

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About The Final Curse of Ophelia Cray

Storms and pirates are nothing compared to the evil within men’s hearts.

After a lifetime of abuse at the hands of superstitious townsfolk, Ophelia Young, a bastard child of the notorious pirate queen, is tired of paying for the sins of her mother. Despite playing by the rules her whole life, she’s earned nothing but spite and suspicion. So when a naval officer saves her from the jeering crowd at her mother’s hanging, Ophelia hatches a new hope of enlisting in the navy to escape her mother’s legacy and redeem her own reputation for good. But Ophelia soon discovers that a life at sea isn’t as honorable as she hoped.

Betsy Young is as different as she could be from her half-sister Ophelia. She’s a nervous homebody who wants to keep her family safe and longs to be in love. So naturally, she’s devastated when the son of their family’s business partner rejects her hand in marriage and her sister joins the navy. But when her father contracts a life-threatening illness as well, Betsy has to bring Ophelia home to save the family business.

Unfortunately for the Young sisters, Betsy trying to get Ophelia recalled reveals that Ophelia enlisted fraudulently under Betsy’s name, a secret which Ophelia struggles to keep from crewmates who would kill her if they knew she was the pirate queen’s daughter. To save Ophelia from the naval authorities, Betsy will have to board a ship during hurricane season and brave all the dangers of the sea to get them both home safe.

My Review

Is it weird to say that I found it refreshing to read about pirates as the villains in this book? Ha. Actually, I liked a lot of things about this book. The relationship between Betsy and Ophelia, of course, drew me into the story. They are half-sisters nearly the same age but with very different personalities. Despite their differences, these two girls have each other’s back in everything but this: Betsy’s crippling anxiety keeps her mostly at home, and Ophelia longs for a life at sea in the Navy.

While I really appreciate that Betsy has anxiety, I felt like the representation in the story was uneven. At the beginning, Betsy’s anxiety pretty much runs her life. She has decided to stay home where she feels safe, and she can barely speak when someone outside her family tries to talk to her. When she faces boarding a ship and making the journey to find Ophelia, she doesn’t make that decision lightly or without her anxiety spiking. As the story progresses, though, her anxiety sort of evaporates? She experiences life-threatening situations and eloquently advocates for herself and others. She grieves and feels fear, but I felt like the symptoms the story used to define her anxiety faded away.

I don’t know. I guess it made me a little bit uncomfortable because it implied that all she needed to do to conquer her anxiety was get out there and be brave, and that’s not really how clinical anxiety works? Maybe this wasn’t supposed to be representative of clinical anxiety, though.

At any rate. I really appreciated the relationship between the sisters and the representation of the pirates in the story. It was nice to read something that didn’t totally romanticize piracy. The plot was pretty evenly paced, and I loved the twists and turns the story took.

Content Notes

Recommended for Ages 14 up.

Representation
Betsy has anxiety. Ophelia is asexual/aromantic. Minor characters are lesbian.

Profanity/Crude Language Content
Strong profanity used infrequently.

Romance/Sexual Content
In one scene, a boy kisses a girl without her consent. She breaks off the kiss and makes it clear it isn’t what she wants. He stops, but is unhappy. Later, a girl welcomes kisses from a boy. In another scene, a boy coerces a girl to kiss him, and she bites his mouth.

Spiritual Content
Betsy and her mother believe in some spiritual things, like bad vibes and curses. Ophelia wrestles with whether she believes in anything like that. The people of her town seem to believe her mother’s blood is cursed, and they treat her terribly because of it. Later, some inexplicable things happen, and Ophelia isn’t sure what to make of them. She seems to finally believe in some spiritual happenings, whether it’s her mother’s spirit guiding her from beyond or some other benevolent force.

Violent Content
Betsy and Ophelia attend a hanging. The person’s face is covered, but they watch until she dies. The crowd abuses Ophelia, pushing her, pulling her hair, and nearly trampling her. Ophelia makes it clear this kind of treatment from her neighbors is pretty common.

Sailors are whipped as punishment. They battle those on enemy ships.

Pirates attack a ship, shooting some on board and brutalizing others. Some graphic descriptions of violence, including brief torture and dismemberment. A sailor wraps chains around a girl’s neck to mimic a hanging. Sailors battle for control of a ship, stabbing and shooting each other as they can.

Drug Content
Characters have wine with dinner. A fellow sailor passes Ophelia a bottle of whisky, which she takes a small sip from. Three girls drink rum together. One drinks until very drunk.

Note: This post contains affiliate links, which do not cost you anything to use but help support this blog. I received a free copy of this book in exchange for my honest review. All opinions are my own.

Review: Garlic and the Vampire by Bree Paulsen

Garlic and the Vampire
Bree Paulsen
Quill Tree Books
Published September 28, 2021

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About Garlic and the Vampire

A farm-fresh debut graphic novel starring a heroine who is braver than she realizes.

Garlic feels as though she’s always doing something wrong. At least with her friend Carrot by her side and the kindly Witch Agnes encouraging her, Garlic is happy to just tend her garden, where it’s nice and safe.

But when her village of vegetable folk learns that a bloodthirsty vampire has moved into the nearby castle, they all agree that, in spite of her fear and self-doubt, Garlic is the obvious choice to confront him. And with everyone counting on her, Garlic reluctantly agrees to face the mysterious vampire, hoping she has what it takes.

After all, garlic drives away vampires…right?

My Review

I’ve heard other reviewers raving about how much they love this book, so it’s been on my reading list for a bit. I grabbed a few more graphic novels for our home library recently and added a copy of this one to the shelf.

Most of the main characters are vegetables, which is really cute and different. Garlic, the main character, has a lot of anxiety, and she depends on her friend Carrot to help steady her. I think all the vegetable characters were originally created by a witch whose garden they used to work in. Now, they plant and harvest what they choose, and the witch sees them as autonomous beings with free will.

I really liked the scene in which Garlic meets the vampire. She’s terrified but trying to put on a big, brave front, and the vampire’s reaction made me smile. I liked the way the story resolved, too.

On the whole, I’m glad I read this one. It’s super short and really different. I think readers with anxiety will find Garlic easy to identify with, and those looking for a warm, fall vibe with a little Halloween flavor will find lots to love in GARLIC AND THE VAMPIRE.

Content Notes

Recommended for Ages 8 to 12.

Representation
Most characters are vegetables. There’s also a witch and vampire who appear white or white-passing. Garlic has a lot of anxiety.

Profanity/Crude Language Content
None.

Romance/Sexual Content
None.

Spiritual Content
There are witch and vampire characters. The witch made the vegetable characters alive to act as her helpers, but now she respects them as individuals with autonomy.

Violent Content
Garlic worries about facing the vampire. She brings a hammer and stake made of hawthorn wood.

Drug Content
The vampire character is shown holding a wine glass full of red liquid. It’s not alcohol, though.

Note: This post contains affiliate links, which do not cost you anything to use, but which help support this blog.

Review: Drawing Deena by Hena Khan

Drawing Deena
Hena Khan
Salaam Reads
Published February 6, 2024

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About Drawing Deena

From the award-winning author of AMINA’S VOICE and AMINA’S SONG comes a tenderhearted middle grade novel about a young Pakistani American artist determined to manage her anxiety and forge her own creative path.

Deena’s never given a name to the familiar knot in her stomach that appears when her parents argue about money, when it’s time to go to school, or when she struggles to find the right words. She manages to make it through each day with the help of her friends and the art she loves to make.

While her parents’ money troubles cause more and more stress, Deena wonders if she can use her artistic talents to ease their burden. She creates a logo and social media account to promote her mom’s home-based business selling clothes from Pakistan to the local community. With her cousin and friends modeling the outfits and lending their social media know-how, business picks up.

But the success and attention make Deena’s cousin and best friend, Parisa, start to act funny. Suddenly Deena’s latest creative outlet becomes another thing that makes her feel nauseated and unsure of herself. After Deena reaches a breaking point, both she and her mother learn the importance of asking for help and that, with the right support, Deena can create something truly beautiful.

My Review

One of the things I remember most from AMINA’S VOICE and AMINA’S SONG is the way that the author creates these rich family connections and still keeps the story centered on its kid characters. Deena has complex relationships with both her parents, where sometimes she feels like they don’t see or hear her, yet it’s clear they love her, and she loves them, and they have a good relationship in other ways.

In this book, Deena explores both her artistic style and talent, learning about other artists, especially Vincent Van Gogh, whose work she feels a connection with. She also wrestles with feelings of anxiety that build to a panic attack. Like lots of people, she can’t tell at first what’s happening to her body. She only knows she feels nauseated and tense. At first, she doesn’t even connect those feelings to any particular fears or worries.

I liked the way that process played out and the way people in Deena’s life responded to her once they understood what was going on. That part felt really realistic, and I couldn’t help celebrating with Deena as she finds her voice and speaks up for what she needs.

I also really enjoyed the descriptions of artwork in the story. It made me want to visit a museum– and especially to look up the names of the artists mentioned in the book.

Fans of Hena Khan’s earlier books will love this one, and readers who enjoy books about artists will also find lots to love here.

Content Notes

Recommended for Ages 8 to 12.

Representation
Deena and her family are Pakistani American. Deena has anxiety.

Profanity/Crude Language Content
None.

Romance/Sexual Content
None.

Spiritual Content
References to prayer and Muslim celebrations.

Violent Content
Descriptions of a panic attack.

Drug Content
None.

Note: This post contains affiliate links, which do not cost you anything to use, but which help support this blog. I received a free copy of this book in exchange for my honest review. All opinions my own.

Marvelous Middle-Grade Mondays

I’m sharing this post as a part of a weekly round-up of middle-grade posts called Marvelous Middle-Grade Mondays. Check out other blogs posting about middle-grade books today on Marvelous Middle-Grade Mondays at Always in the Middle with Greg Pattridge.

Review: The Diary of a Young Girl: The Definitive Edition by Anne Frank

The Diary of a Young Girl: The Definitive Edition
Anne Frank
EFE Books
Published May 15, 2022

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About The Diary of a Young Girl: The Definitive Edition

The Diary of a Young Girl, often known as the Anne Frank Diary, is a collection of entries from Anne Frank’s Dutch-language diary, which she recorded while a thirteen-year-old Jewish girl and her family evacuated their house in Amsterdam and went into hiding in 1942 when Nazis occupied Holland. Anne Frank died of typhus at the Bergen-Belsen detention camp in 1945 after the family was captured in 1944.

Anne Frank kept a diary throughout this time, recording vivid recollections of her events. Her tale is a fascinating commentary on human tenacity and weakness, as well as a riveting self-portrait of a sensitive and energetic young lady whose promise was sadly cut short. Miep Gies was able to retrieve the diary.

My Review

I’d been thinking that I’d read Anne Frank’s diary in school, but I don’t think that’s actually true. I know we read the play based on her diary and then went to see it performed by a local community theatre. I don’t think we read her actual diary, though.

This year, one of the books banned near me is the graphic novel adaptation of Anne Frank’s diary. I would like to read that book, but wanted to read the original first, since the objection to the graphic novel seems to be that something included in it isn’t accurate to the original diary.

Some Facts I Learned from the Foreward of Diary of a Young Girl

Anne initially kept her diary for herself, but when a member of the exiled Dutch government expressed interest in personal witness accounts written during the war, Anne began editing her diary entries with the intent on publishing her writing someday.

Anne’s father put together the entries that formed the first publication of the book. He opted not to include journal entries referencing Anne’s sexuality (something not discussed at the time in young adult literature) and negative thoughts about her mom and other people she lived with in the Secret Annex.

When Anne’s father, Otto Frank, died, the diary became the property of the Netherlands State Institute for War Documentation, which investigated and proved the diary authentic. After that, the diary was published in its entirety.

After that, the sole heir of Otto Frank, who owned the copyrights of Anne’s diary, sought to publish a new, expanded edition of the work. This contains about thirty percent new material compared to the original publication.

She Was Thirteen

As I read the entries to Anne Frank’s diary, it struck me again and again how young she was when she wrote them. Though she intended to publish something based on her diary, we don’t have a way of knowing what she would or would not have wanted publicly known. How would she have felt about the things she wrote about her mom and sister– and even her dad– if she’d been the family member to survive the war? We will never have the chance to know.

She wrote so many insightful things, too. She wrote about the anxiety and depression of being in hiding. Her family would hear rumors of arrests, torture, and death in concentration camps. They endured nighttime bombings, knowing if any of them were injured, they couldn’t safely get medical help. And if the building in which they were hiding was destroyed, they’d have nowhere to go.

She wrote about falling in love, about growing up, and about the changes in her relationships with her family members as she grew.

Anne Frank Wanted to Be a Writer

Every life lost in the war and Holocaust is tragic, but there is something especially tragic about the loss of this young writer. Even as a teenager, she had such a gift with words. What would our world have been like if she’d been able to pursue that gift and share it with us for decades more? What would she have written about her life in hiding and about the aftermath of the war if she’d lived to tell us?

I feel like her story would be important anyway as a record of her experiences, but I’m sure what’s made it so enduring is Anne’s ability to articulate her thoughts and experiences in a way that transcends her age. Some passages in the diary are so powerfully written. And yet, in others, she reminds us that she’s an early teenager with hopes and dreams and frustrations about her family, her studies, and her relationships.

Conclusion

I’m so glad I read this book. I think Anne Frank’s story more than deserves its place of honor. This book is so much more than a teenage girl’s diary. It’s an account of a young girl forced into hiding with her family, coming of age during World War II. It’s the story of a bright young mind who finds humor in the everyday goings on around her. This is the story of a girl whose life was brutally ended far too soon.

I highly recommend reading THE DIARY OF A YOUNG GIRL by Anne Frank if you haven’t already. I also think it would be worth rereading as an adult because I know that impacted my perspective.

Content Notes

Recommended for Ages 10 up.

Representation
Anne, her family, and the others living in the Secret Annex are Jewish.

Profanity/Crude Language Content
Anne uses an offensive racial term for biracial people. (She doesn’t appear to be using the term to be purposely offensive, but in the context of the language commonly used at the time.)

Romance/Sexual Content
Anne reports she once asked a female friend if she could see her breasts and wanted to kiss her. She says she feels “ecstasy” when seeing female bodies. Anne laments that her parents never spoke openly with her about sex. She mentions speaking openly with Peter about the bodies of men and women. Kissing between boy and girl.

Spiritual Content
Anne’s family celebrates Hanukkah and St. Nicholas Day together.

Violent Content
Anne hears rumors of citizens being executed. She hears rumors about people taken to concentration camps. Her family hears they get very little food or water, that thousands must share a single bathroom, that their heads are shaved, and that many are murdered. Anne worries about friends from school and others her family knew. She sometimes has dreams of them asking her for help.

Anne very briefly mentions that someone in her family once tried to end their life.

Drug Content
An adult drinks wine and then does not sleep well. Another adult smokes, and others tell him he should quit. Other scenes reference people drinking alcohol. Anne takes Valerian drops to combat feelings of anxiety and panic during her time in hiding.

Note: This post contains affiliate links, which do not cost you anything to use but which help support this blog. I received a free copy of THE DIARY OF A YOUNG GIRL: THE DEFINITIVE EDITION in exchange for my honest review.

Review: Diary of a Confused Feminist by Kate Weston

Diary of a Confused Feminist
Kate Weston
Simon & Schuster Books for Young Readers
Published January 2, 2024

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About Diary of a Confused Feminist

Kat wants to do GOOD FEMINISM, although she’s not always sure what that means. She also wants to be a writer, get together with Hot Josh (is this a feminist ambition?), win at her coursework and not make a TOTAL EMBARRASSMENT of herself at all times.

But the path to true feminism is filled with mortifying incidents, and when everything at school starts to get a bit too much, Kat knows she’s lost her way, and the only way forward is to ask for help . . .

Join Kat, AKA the Confused Feminist, as she navigates EVERYTHING from menstrual cups and mental health to Instagram likes and #TimesUp in her HILARIOUS, OUTRAGEOUS, and VERY EMBARRASSING diary.

My Review

I don’t think I’ve laughed so hard at a book since FINDING AUDREY by Sophie Kinsella. Seriously, this absolutely cracked me up. Kat is full of frank questions and sometimes irreverent observations. Her exploration of what feminism means and how to be a feminist felt so genuine and organic. She asks a lot of reasonable questions about her body, her period, and sex in pretty straightforward, often funny, ways.

The book is written in diary entries, as the title suggests, and I loved that, too, because it made this a pretty quick read. The scenes are generally pretty short and there’s a fair amount of white space on the pages.

I also enjoyed Kat’s relationships with her parents and brother. It’s always funny reading parents in YA novels as an actual parent. I think I may more attention to those characters than I would have as a teen, and I definitely appreciate it when they read like fully developed characters and believable parents. In this book, they’re not perfect parents by any means, but it’s clear that despite Kat wanting her privacy and rolling her eyes plenty, she loves her family members and has good relationships with them.

Not only did I laugh an absolute ton reading this book, but I cried quite a bit, too. Kat wrestles with some hard things, and one scene in particular broke my heart for her. I think the combination of the humor and the heart make this an incredible story (and a debut! Amazing!) and one that a lot of readers are going to connect with.

Content Notes

Recommended for Ages 14 up.

Representation
Two characters describe difficult experiences with anxiety. One character is gay.

Profanity/Crude Language Content
Extreme profanity used pretty frequently. Also uses some crude language for body parts.

Romance/Sexual Content
Kissing between boy and girl. Kissing between two boys. A girl accidentally walks in on a couple having sex in a bathroom and describes their disorganized state of undress.

Spiritual Content
A couple of jokes about how God must be a man because women endure so many biological trials.

Violent Content
A girl at school bullies Kat and says some very harsh things to her. It’s pretty cruel and upsetting.

Drug Content
Kat and her friends attend two parties where teens drink. At the second one, Kat mentions there being a cloud of marijuana smoke.

Note: This post contains affiliate links, which do not cost you anything to use, but which help support this blog.