Tag Archives: estranged family

Review: The People We Choose by Katelyn Detweiler

The People We Choose by Katelyn Detweiler

The People We Choose
Katelyn Detweiler
Margaret Ferguson Books
Published May 4, 2021

Amazon | Bookshop | Goodreads

About The People We Choose

When Calliope Silversmith meets her new neighbor Max, their chemistry is instantaneous, but the revelation of her biological father’s identity throws her whole life into disarray.

Calliope Silversmith has always had just two friends in her small Pennsylvania town, Ginger and Noah, and she’s fine with that. She’s never wanted anything more than her best friends, her moms, their house in the woods, and their family-run yoga studio–except maybe knowing who her sperm donor is. Her curiosity has been building for years, and she can finally find out this summer when she turns eighteen.

But when Max and his family move into the sad old house across the woods from Calliope, she realizes it’s nice to get to know someone new, so nice that she decides to break her no dating rule. The stability of her longtime trio wavers as she and Max start to spend more and more time together.

When Calliope finally finds out who her sperm donor is, she learns a truth more shocking and unfathomable than she could have ever dreamed: her donor is Max’s father. How is this even possible? As she and Max struggle to redefine their friendship, Calliope realizes that she can turn a horrific situation into something positive by recognizing and accepting that family is both the one we are born into and the one we choose to make.

My Review

I love relationship books– and this is definitely a relationship book. Calliope has two lifelong best friends, one of whom is in love with her. She doesn’t return those feelings, though, and for a while, things go unsaid and unacknowledged. Max’s arrival and the obvious chemistry between Calliope and Max changes that, though.

I identified with that conflict so much– the complicated situation that a friendship where one person has greater feelings can become. I still have a lot of feelings of guilt and regret over a relationship in my own past, so it was both heartbreaking and cathartic to see that conflict on the page. I remember literally thinking some of the things Calliope thinks in wrestling with the relationship, so that felt real to me. I don’t know that I’ve ever seen another book tackle that situation in such a real, frank way.

Another thing I liked is the fact that while the story has some romantic feelings in it, it doesn’t center around romance. It really explores what makes a family and how to redefine relationships in the face of difficult changes. I liked the way Calliope’s moms were protective and paying attention, but that they also gave her space to find her own way. I felt like their relationships had a great balance in that way.

On the whole, I enjoyed reading PEOPLE WE CHOOSE. I think people who enjoyed YOUR DESTINATION IS ON THE LEFT by Lauren Spieller or who like books exploring relationships will enjoy this one.

Content Notes

Recommended for Ages 14 up.

Representation
Max is Black. Ginger is a lesbian. Calliope has two moms.

Profanity/Crude Language Content
Extreme profanity used infrequently.

Romance/Sexual Content – Trigger Warning for Incest
Brief descriptions of kissing between boy and girl (who turn out to be siblings and really grossed out about it later.)

Reference to a kiss between two girls.

Spiritual Content
None.

Violent Content
Some descriptions of heated arguments between adults. Brief description of a woman’s accidental death.

Drug Content
One minor character is an alcoholic.

Note: This post contains affiliate links, which do not cost you anything to use, but which help support running this blog. I received a free copy of PEOPLE WE CHOOSE in exchange for my honest review.

Review: Where the Stars Still Shine by Trish Doller

Where the Stars Still Shine
Trish Doller
Bloomsbury USA Children’s
Published September 24, 2013

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Callie spent most of her childhood believing her father is after her. She’s never been to school, never had any real friends. Anytime there’s a whiff of suspicion, her mother whisks them away to a new town, new trashy job, new sleazy boyfriend.

Then the truth comes in the form of an arrest warrant for her mom. In a blink, Callie finds herself living with her estranged dad, his new wife and their two small children, right smack in the middle of a large, loud, loving Greek family. For the first time, someone cares whether Callie comes or goes. She has friends, if she can crack the code on how to keep them. And she might even have her first real date!

The relationship between Callie and her dad is really moving. Here’s this man who hasn’t seen his daughter in so many years, who wants so badly to reconnect with her. Here’s this girl whose entire life has been turned upside down, who worries that accepting the father she didn’t know she had means betraying her mom, who’s sick and needs her more than anyone. That tug-of-war was so well-crafted and believable. There’s a lot of threads about reconciliation between estranged family members and the importance of family and community. Those were great themes and very well-executed.

While in the care of her mother, Callie was sexually abused by her mother’s live-in boyfriend. This leaves deep emotional scars. She starts hooking up (meeting to have sex with) guys as a young teenager, even though afterward she feels used and dirty. On one such quest, she lucks out and meets a guy who not only takes her to bed the first time they spend any time together, but also wants to build a relationship with her and cares very deeply for her, despite his playboy reputation.

This does show Callie learning to build trust and to experience sex within a safe, loving relationship, which is so healing. At the same time, I couldn’t help thinking that in real life, a girl can sleep with many, many guys hoping that the next day they’ll turn out to stick around. It’s probably not the best way to find a good guy. Conservative me couldn’t help wishing she’d found that he was a good guy first and built that trust first.

Besides that, though, I felt really connected with Callie’s emotional journey. I loved her demonstrative family, and the vividly described setting. It has more sexual content than books I’ve read by Sarah Dessen, but the strong heroine and deep emotional journey reminded me of her stories. If you’re a Dessen fan, you may want to check out this book.

Language Content
Extreme profanity, moderate frequency.

Sexual Content
Callie becomes sexually active in her early teens. She briefly recounts those experiences as well as memories of childhood sexual abuse. The abuse memories are pretty intense. A boy kisses Callie later in the story and she immediately takes off her shirt. She meets another young man and has sex with him without knowing much more than his name. The descriptions of her encounters are fairly short and not super graphic, but there are some details given. Another couple engages in a pretty heavy make-out session on the couch, but few details are given.

Much of the sexual element in the story is really about Callie’s abuse and the process she experiences to learn how to have a healthy relationship with sex.

Spiritual Content
Callie’s family attend a Greek Orthodox Church and encourage her to attend with them, but don’t pressure her. Callie really isn’t into the spiritual stuff.

Violence
Callie witnesses a man smacking his adult son.

Drug Content
Callie’s mom hangs around some pretty unsavory bars and probably drinks too much. Callie and her friends drink alcohol. They are all under 21.

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I Have Seen Him in the Watchfires by Cathy Gohlke

I Have Seen Him in the Watchfires
Cathy Gohlke
Moody Publishers
Published September 1, 2008

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Prompted by a desperate letter from an estranged cousin in Virginia, Robert must put aside his plans to join the Yankee army and help his family. A visit to his uncle throws him by mistake into the middle of a prison escape. After he’s left for dead, an unexpected friend lends him a hand, further blurring the lines of Robert’s patriotic loyalty. As he and his new friend set out to find his family, Robert finds the journey to be harder than he ever imagined, and that the enemy he must confront has a different face than he first believed. If he is going to rescue his family, Robert knows it will take wrestling with more than just the enemies of war. And the results may not be of his own making.

I Have Seen Him in the Watchfires is the sequel to Gohlke’s Christy Award-winning William Henry is a Fine Name. The Civil War story tackles issues of loyalty, humanity, and faith through the eyes of an 18 year-old boy with family on both sides of the battle lines.

The writing is absolutely amazing– the kind of stuff that will stick with you long after you put the book down. If you enjoy historical fiction, particularly the Civil War era, you absolutely have to give this a read. I haven’t read William Henry, but I had no trouble following the plot and characters of I Have Seen Him in the Watchfires. I don’t think you have to read them in order, but if the first one is as good as this (and I’ve heard it is) then by all means, read both as I plan to do myself!

Profanity/Crude Language Content
None

Sexual Content
There are some oblique references to a rape that occurred before the story takes place.

Spiritual Content
Robert wrestles with his faith and the idea that God is in control, has a plan, and will take care of him.

Violent Content
Robert is bound during the prison escape. One character shoots another and threatens other lives before falling to death.

Drug Content
None

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